What would make you want to be a SAHM?
DH has been dropping hints about his desire for me to stay home. I don't know if I am ready for that because I really enjoy working. I told him I will consider it after my maternity leave ends in the fall.
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Unless I could still hire at least part time care or my pay truly didn't offset daycare costs, I would not be a SAHM. My career and identity outside of being a mom is too important to my mental health to give it up without a major reason. I am envious of women that can do it because I want to tear my hair out if I am alone with my son all day by myself. I get too frustrated having to share almost every moment with him instead of getting 5 minutes to myself.
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@autumnlove: enough money to be involved in any kind of activities I would want to do with LO. I'm not the kind of person that can stay inside the house for long. I would want to be taking baby yoga, music lessons, etc. I'd want to be able to afford part time child care or playgroup so that I could have time to myself to take a class during the week.
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I could never be a sahm. I respect it very much, it's just not my temperament! It would be very unfair of my partner to ask that of me. You've already had a baby and you know what it's like to be at home (mat leave) and at work... So I'd say that ship has sailed.
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Nothing would make me want to be a SAHM mom; unless I was a SAHM with a full time nanny/daycare who worked on volunteer projects outside the home for several hours every day lol. I wouldn’t be happy with just going to play/activity groups and the library with LO; I need adult time and intellectual stimulation every day.
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Not sure I would actively choose to be a SAHM right now. I think I only would if things didn't work out for me at my job, which is entirely possible right now. However, I would probably look for something else so I would be a temporary SAHM.
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I couldn't be a SAHM. I'm the breadwinner of the house. Unless my DH's health gets significantly better and he does extremely well with his business or if we win the lottery, I doubt I would ever be a SAHM. We will see when we have no kids but since we are still TTC I don't think anything will change for baby #1.
It would be nice if I could be a SAHM but I don't think it will happen for me.
Also, the DH wants to be a SAHD so I think having one of us home is great.
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I don't always enjoy work but I couldn't stay at home all the time. I would like to work part time, but in my industry that seems to be an impossiblity.
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I'm with you @Mrs.jacks. Working out of the home benefits me because my work life is so important to my sense of self, and it benefits the little guy because he gets used to being social and learns from other kids. Luckily for me money is not a huge factor, but even so I don't think it would be fair for my husband to be the one driving that decision unless he was the one volunteering to stay home.
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@pelikila: Exactly this. I'd love to work a reduced schedule or WFH, but there's no way I could spend all day every day with my child with nothing else, I'd go insane!
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I think that even if DH doubled his salary, not sure I would want to be a SAHM. Of course I say that now before she is here and I have to take her to day care.
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Hmm, the only way I would do it is if my husbands salary was about 1.5 of what we make combine now and my job didn't offset daycare. I like getting out of the house and time to myself. I would work part time in a heartbeat though. 3 days a week would be great!
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The only way I'd be a SAHM again is if somehow we were wealthy enough for Wagon Sr. to be a SAHD right alongside me!! I didn't enjoy the pressure of being the primary caregiver 24/7 and I really enjoy working. The time away from my kids helps me appreciate them and miss them and look forward to seeing them, rather than seeing them as a project / task / challenge.
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After being at home for 3 months and then going back to work, I'm not sure I'm cut out to be a SAHM. Now, working part time and being a part time SAHM? Now that, I think I could do. It's hard work raising a kid, though. I'm just not sure I could do everything I would expect I should be doing if I stayed at home. It's not as easy as it sounds..... If my husband wanted me to be a SAHM and we could afford it, though, I would probably do it. I really hate working and sending her to daycare.
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I'm really not sure. In a few years, financially, I will be able to stay home if I wanted and we probably could afford part time help. I'm not sure what I will do at that point - we'll probably also have another kid by then. Part of me likes working - I'm very refreshed when I'm with my son whereas being on an extended maternity leave, one day blended into the next. But, part of me likes being home. I currently work 4 days a week (but almost 40 hours....) and I'll definitely never work more than that.
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i think i could be a sahm when both kids are in school! otherwise i'm just not tough enough. i love working, and i need to work to be happier.
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DH's reasoning is he makes a lot more and we would be ok on his salary. He also thinks I should be around more since his schedule varies so much and he will never have 9-5 hours. I have a lot to think about!
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I know I'm not cut out to be a SAHM, but lately I have really been having a hard time juggling my WOH career and the kids' needs who are getting more complicated as they get older. When they were infants and small toddlers, I felt that, although it was physically demanding, there was less of an emotional aspect to parenting. I was just trying to keep them alive! Now with my pre-schooler about to enter public school, there are so many things I want to do with her, like teach her to read, take her to the library, answer her crazy questions, discipline her in a less harried (and angry) way, that I have a hard time finding time to do. It's always a choice I'm making - spending the time with the kids means I have to forgo something else that needs to get done. I have outsourced my cleaning, etc but even once a week service does not keep my house uncluttered and prevent me from injuring my feet on legos! I'm sure you all can relate.
I am seriously considering dialing it down to part time in the near future, but in my field is is hard to find the right opportunity to do so. I have also considered a total career change to something more flexible. I am fortunate to live in a place where it doesn't cost a lot to live and DH's salary would be sufficient if we make some adjustments to our lifestyle. Yikes, sorry for the vent, but I am going through a bit of a 1/3 life crisis!
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I agree that either we would have enough funds to do lots of activities and I could get little breaks (and maybe even help with household chores).
Or maybe when the kids were in school so I could do a lot when them.
Ideally, I would love to be able to go to 25-30 hrs/week when they are in school.
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If we could afford it I would like to be SAHM til LO turned one. THen I would like to work part time
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I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home-wife, so I'm dreading being a WOHM. But who knows, I might love the break! With the way my income is vs. DHs, I will never be able to be a SAHM.
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If DH made an extra 50k a year I would stay home.
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21 comments