My oldest is 19 months and he's been so naughty since our dd was born 3 weeks ago. When can I expect his behavior to get better?
I feel like it's probably a combo of terrible 2s and jealousy... but it's breaking my heart when he won't come near me and when he smacks me in the face. I want things to be back to normal.
watermelon / 14467 posts
I don't have two, but my 21-month-old is acting the same way and it makes me so sad. I hope you get some good advice here.
pomegranate / 3314 posts
Yes, LO (3 years old) was jealous when little brother was born. But in her case, she just acted out to get attention, but mostly ignored him. Three months on, things are much better and she seems to even like him some days, especially now that he watches her and smiles at her. She loves an audience!
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Yes. She was jealous and acted out for a month or two. We started Getting her to talk about it, though she was 2.5 when LO was born.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
My 16 month old wasn't that jealous about LO 2 but I bet LO 2 will be a different story at 2 years and 3 months in a few weeks.
grapefruit / 4862 posts
Awww just posted worried about this myself (LO will be 22 months.) I'm hoping it gets better for you (and will go well for me!) Nothing worse than being hurt by your own LO like that 
pear / 1599 posts
No DD wasn't but she was a bit older, 26 months. I have just concentrated in getting DD situated before DS so that she is occupied while I tend to the baby. I hope it gets better for you soon.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
My oldest was 21 months when Logan was born. He definitely acted out and would hit us and have more tantrums. It lasted about 6 weeks or so and then things started getting better. 
honeydew / 7909 posts
@Adira: 3 more weeks? Oh noooo! I can handle that - at least there's an end in sight.
persimmon / 1363 posts
@Ash: Mine was 21 months and crazy jealous, She would hit the baby though! She started getting better at 6 weeks, and now it's only occaisonal.
pomelo / 5258 posts
We're only 4 weeks in but LO1 (28 months) hasn't shown much jealously. She has asked me to put baby brother in the swing and hold her a few times. There's other regression behavior (refusing to potty, wanting to be held, wanting sippy cups) but nothing agressive. She's at daycare FT though. I'm sure she would be acting out more if she was home all day.
@Ash: I hope things improve for you soon. Nursing a newborn is hard enough without an upset toddler.
bananas / 9118 posts
Yeah, it was pretty rough and jealousy still rears it's ugly head occasionally. Mine are 26 months apart and my oldest does have some speech/communication delays, so mixing that with a new brother and the terrible twos, it was a pretty rough first year for us. He didn't really understand, was jealous, and acted out pretty frequently. I was beyond thrilled about him turning 3 and he has been an absolute delight to be around and little bro is so much fun as a one year old!
The clouds magically parted a few months before three and it got much easier. They are buddies for the most part now, but my oldest still gets jealous when I nurse, not that he wants it, he just wants the attention. I usually let him sit on my other side and cuddle on the couch.
@kjpugs: I didn't really want to post my experience on your thread because I'm not sure the same would apply- the big sisters I've seen have been so nurturing and caring instead of the battle boys I have 
One thing that has helped us quite a bit is having big brother dates. My husband and I take him out alone and have big kid time at the park or at the zoo, places where little bro can cramp his style.
pomegranate / 3706 posts
My oldest turned 22 months old the day after my youngest was born. She was INSANELY jealous. It took almost a year for her to calm down. Now they are inseparable. One thing I recommend is doing a few special solo things with just your oldest-- it doesn't have to be much, but it really helps.
papaya / 10560 posts
He was not jealous. I had her when he was 17 months. In fact, he was very helpful and we really saw how kind and loving he was towards others. We gave him a lot of little tasks to do (okay, go get the burp cloth off the bouncer in the living room) or whatever and he did fabulously.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
Hugs. We aren't there yet but dd will be newly 3 and I know there will be jealousy. I think it's normal. I know it happens with toddlers and I know of people with 8+ year age groups that still experienced some degree of jealousy.
honeydew / 7295 posts
We had about a month of really difficult behavior. What helped was making more time in the day and week to be one on one with my son. Even if it was just snuggles while she napped or a quick walk around the block. Connecting one on one is hugely helpful. It does pass. Hang in there.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
My wee dude is now forteen weeks and it's really only in the last weeks that my big girl has climbed out of her funk. On a positive not she hasn't shown any aggression or I'll feelings towards her brother but she sure was angry with me! One of our main issues has been toilet refusal but I think it's also related to her developmental stage too.
honeydew / 7283 posts
We had a difficult first month or so, but it got SO much better after that. I hope things are better for you soon!
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