I don't plan on spanking because I WAS spanked as a kid.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
i wasn't spanked as a kid and i don't plan on spanking. my dad's lectures were sometimes so bad though, i used to wish i got spanked instead!
squash / 13199 posts
i was spanked as a kid, and i plan to spank my kids.
pomelo / 5321 posts
I was spanked, I plan to spank.
clementine / 889 posts
I was only sPanked a couple times. My brother got it more than I but he was a little ADHD and more difficult for my parents to handle. My dad stopped spanking us when we were little because his father was abusive and he didn't want to turn into his father. My mother continued a little longer. I don't plan to spank unless it is something really serious like running into the road and I need to get my LO's attention. But we may not at all either. I guess I'm undecided. DS hits (he is 15 mos) and used to bite (while teething) and I just try to model the behavior I want and verbally corerect the unwanted behavior.
persimmon / 1087 posts
I was spanked, and I won't be spanking my children. I plan to be stern when necessary.
eggplant / 11287 posts
I was spanked and I definitely plan on spanking my children. However, my parents used a spoon/belt/switch and I plan on using my hand.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I was spanked but not the right way.
I will spank, but differently.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I was spanked... Often in anger... Sometimes inconsistently... It undermined my self-worth and made me into an angry kid. None of that was intended and my parents tried to do what was right. At that time no one knew the negative consequences.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I'd prefer not to spank. I can get physically angry and I wouldn't like spankings to happen because I am frustrated. Having said that, if my kids were to do something dangerous, like run into the road, who knows? I was spanked as a kid, but I think it alleviated my parents' frustrations more than taught me anything.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
I was spanked as a kid and don't plan on spanking.
pomegranate / 3716 posts
I was slapped, and don't plan on slapping!! It could be quite painful...
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
I think I was spanked maybe 3 times in my life? I certainly wasn't traumatized or at all negatively effected by it. But I think just a couple times of actual spanking made the threat of a spanking equally as effective. I plan to spank but only in very limited circumstances as I explained on the other thread.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
I was spanked and I do plan to spank LO as well. There were a handful of times I got spanked out of anger, and I remember those to be the most hurtful and I absolutely will not do that to my LO. But the spanks I got for punishment really deterred me from repeating my mistakes. I got spanked the Korean way, though (ie. whacks on the palms of my hands and on my calves).
persimmon / 1096 posts
I was spanked one time for wandering off in a store when I was four years old (after my mom told me, week after week, to stop disappearing when we were out shopping). I never did it again. I wouldn't say I "plan" to spank, but if the situation warrants it, I absolutely would.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I was spanked, I don't plan on it, but I'm not against it either. DH feels the same way.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
I was spanked and always thought I would. After reading some alternative disciplinary actions here on HB, I'm going to try those first, but spanking isn't out of the question.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
I was spanked and I honestly don't know if I will or not until I become a parent. Like @MrsJacks my parents did it inconsistently and out of anger and it did have major negative implications on my self esteem and self worth. So I think I'd only want to do it if I felt confident I was sending the right message along with it.
persimmon / 1341 posts
We were both spanked and both plan on spanking. We have had many lengthy discussions about making sure we don't spank out of anger. We like the idea of putting our daughter in time out and using that as a time out for us as well. We'll take a few minutes to pray and calm down and return to our daughter and spank then. It's important to us that she knows we're not doing it out of anger but out of love and what we think is best for her.
We believe that if we spank her when she's younger and really focus on discipline when she's little there are a lot less issues to deal with when spanking could negatively effect her self esteem and self worth.
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
I planned on it. I was spanked as part of a loving, appropriate discipline, but I haven't spanked Toddler Girl yet. Partly because she's a really good kid, and the most annoying behavior she has is drama queen crying, and I fail to see how spanking will solve crying...
So for now, no, but I wouldn't rule it out. I think that within reason, your attitude and consistency in discipline matter more than the actual method.
pomelo / 5178 posts
Both my husband and I were spanked only a couple times as children, but we don't believe in spankings for our own children. I don't think either of us were negatively affected by the spankings; it's just not something we believe in, as parents.
Also, Mrs. Bee, my dad's lectures were SOOOOO much worse than a spanking! Once I asked him for a spanking, just so I didn't have to sit through his lecture (he declined, btw)!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I was spanked and so was my husband. I think my parents must have done it correctly because they didn't do it often and it wasn't out of anger. So I don't remember any angry feelings because of it. I'm not sure if we'll spank. We aren't against it, I just don't know if we will or not.
coconut / 8299 posts
I was spanked as a child and I don't remember feeling anger or resentment towards my parents for spanking me. I DO remember fearing them though. But I think that's what made us obedient. There were a lot of times when I would want to do something disobedient, but then I think about the consequences (spanking!) so I would refrain. I think the punishment needs to be harsh enough for kids to fear it. I'm hoping that the fear of God will be enough for my kids to obey so that I don't have to resort to harsher methods!
pear / 1861 posts
Yes a few times and I plan to do it, SO as well. I can barely remember getting any really because my mom's Look stopped me in my tracks.LOL
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
I was never spanked, and I turned out fine - I don't plan to spank.
I watch MIL spank 3 y/o nephew and it just pisses him off - does not really make him listen.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
I was spanked and so was DH. I am not against spanking completely but it is so easy for it to be an emotional outlet for parents, that I don't want us to tempt ourselves with that option, if that makes sense. We're in agreement that we'll try our best to use other techniques, but I don't think spanking is wrong and who knows if it might be necessary for our kid.
@MsMamaBear: omg seriously, the "look" stopped us dead in our tracks. also - "okay, well just wait til Dad comes home. he'll love to hear about this!" scared the bejeebus out of us. not because he did anything bad - but he had a really scary quiet voice!!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
I was spanked and I'm not opposed to spanking my LOs. I never felt resentment towards my dad because he spanked me.
clementine / 826 posts
I was spanked and spank my LO. The only difference is I don't plan on using implements to spank. My mom spanked with wooden/plastic spoons. She had one on each floor of the house, for real! We were bad. LOL
@eeh: by doing timeout first you are completely dissociating the action from the punishment and at least for young kids, the spank will make no sense. They will not associate it with what they did wrong, but rather that mom and dad arbitrarily and calmly swat them...
honeydew / 7589 posts
Both DH and I were spanked, and we will not be spanking our children.
And I have to agree with Mrs. Jacks - although that sounds good in theory, it doesn't make sense for a young child. They will be deeply confused by a parent "calmly and lovingly" hitting them.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Maybe swatting if they try to touch something hot or the electrical outlet or something but I'm not even sure about that. LO is starting to takes swipes and I've never swatted her so it doesn't seem like it would be an effective way to teach her to not swat for me to start. So for now I just grab her hand from going where it's going and say NO.
I was spanked occasionally as a kid and I think if anything it had negative effect on my behavior. I felt very detached from them when they spanked so it made me more likely to lie to them and to disobey them. So since it wasn't effective and it teaches bad manners we're not planning on spanking.
@eeh: I think that's a lot of mental anguish to put a child through. To expect them to sit and wait in anticipation of being hit by mommy and daddy. She probably will start associating prayer with being hit more than anything she did.
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