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@Mrs. Tiger: Yeah, that wouldn't have changed the outcome for him unfortunately, but think of all of the other kids who could be saved from injuries by their parents learning the correct way to put them in their seat. On my local news the fire department was having a car seat safety/install day and a ton of parents stopped by just to have their seats double checked. The guy reporting said that like 75% of people were using their seats wrong in some way and had no idea!
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No way. I'd say something to a close friend or family member if I saw something in person but that's ot. It's not my business or my responsibility.
@MrsLilybugg: I'm so sick of seeing this article! Where is the personal responsibity in all this?! Every car seat comes with a very detailed manual - read it! If you did and still don't understand, seek alternative help from any number of resources. Start with your pediatrician if you don't know where to go. There's just no excuse! If you're posting on fb you have access to google.
A fb friend posted that article and went on a tirade about tellig people of their mistakes. Yet, her BFF is the biggest offender and he clearly hasn't said anything to her because she continues to post pics of her child barely strapped in.
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@getjazzy: the nurses here told me legally, they couldn't comment on the car seats at all.
I don't.
I don't know if the picture was taken while parked, getting out, getting ready, etc.
I have told a friend in person to raise the chest clip a little and why. We've all been there with something parenting-related. -
Probably not, because 1) you don't know when the picture was taken. I have snapped a picture of LO sleeping after loosening the straps/or before tightening them/adjusting them and it looks incorrect but it's just because we weren't done with the "process" but I wanted a picture first.
However, forward facing, if it was close family or friend I might say something, but just a random friend no, not my place. most mom's know the rules and are choosing to go against them.
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Not over social media, but there's someone I know that is really awful with carseat safety. When we're together I offer to help put the kids in the car, she had her 2 yr old in a booster and didn't buckle the infant seat in when using a baby bucket seat without the base. She didn't even want me to unwrap the baby to buckle the straps either ('oh you don't have to do that! We're not going far!' 2-3 miles is plenty far!). I did it anyway. Whatever. Then I said, 'even if you don't want to use the base, you can buckle the seat in with the seatbelt' and then buckled it in. Maybe that was rude, but I'm okay with it, I didn't say anything mean about how unsafe she was being, but I wanted to!
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No never if I saw it on social media. I don't know why it feels so taboo.
Even my own brother put my niece FF waaaaaay too soon IMO (at 1yr) and even though I thought about saying something, my sister felt like I shouldn't bc he would feel attacked. So I didn't. To some degree, car seat safety kind of falls in that area of "To each, his/her own" even though I wish it didn't. It's like spanking or disciplining, and people get offended if your opinion or knowledge differs from theirs. It shouldn't be that way, but it is.
And that story on FB was so horrible, but to agree with PP, the boyfriend only fastened the chest clips (WHY?????) on BOTH kids, and the baby had the misfortune of not having a seat in front of him to stop him from flying out when the impact broke the chest clips.
Even if I saw someone post a pic on FB with just chest clips fastened, I think I would probably assume they were just taking the pic before they snapped LO in all the way. It is honestly so hard for me to believe that someone would knowingly blow that off. That FB story was so sad bc it was just freaking careless.
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Nope. Once I was walking around the block with DS in his bucket seat in the snap n go. He would scream if I tried to clip him, we were on a paved sidewalk, and I hadn't been able to leave the house in a week. We ran into an acquaintance and next time I saw her she made this pointed comment about how she "knew this one baby" who had been hurt that was obviously an attempt to correct me. I almost throttled her I was so pissed. I made a calculated risk as a parent (the risk of a stroller tipping over I guess) in a tough spot with a colicky and felt so judged and defensive. Unless there is an imminent danger to a child (running into traffic and parent doesn't aee type stuff) I respect people's privacy.
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I had someone post a pic on social media of their infant in a bucket seat, strapped into a car forward facing. Thank goodness people commented right away saying he needed to be strapped in the other way....it gave me so much anxiety!
I would have said something in a heartbeat...but in other situations (loose straps, etc), I wouldn't say anything unless I saw it happening in person.
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@lilyann: the people next door had their infant bucket seat facing forward, it made me crazy. they also let him sit in it until they put him in a booster seat. i would like to think it was a language barrier issue, but i would of hoped they'd had someone translate the manuel if they were having trouble. i'm glad the people you know figured it out!
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No I don't.
@Mrs. Sunshine: I have this exact situation going on and I've never found a good way to say anything. It's our close friend and his granddaughter and he was all excited when he bought the seat and went on and on about how the chart at Walmart said she was big enough...
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@mrs. bird: So, like, she just sat the carrier on the seat without securing it?
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I don't say anything and the reason is because people get so wound up about being "THE AUTHORITY" on everything related to their child that they often forget they are human and make mistakes.
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@daniellemybelle: yup! the baby had been swaddled & she didn't want to unswaddle her to put the buckles on, then she would just sit the bucket on the seat without it on a base or buckled. i started having mr. bird watch too & he would offered to carry the baby carrier out & would buckle it in because she still wasn't buckling it. this was really upsetting because it was someone close to mr. bird & she's a wonderful woman, but she just didn't seem to understand why we thought this was so important.
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Nope. If it's a close friend or family member, I'll mention something if I see it in person, but otherwise, not my business. I do post carseat safety links to my timeline... not sure anyone actually reads them though!
A previous poster mentioned pointing at people at the store with improper shopping cart use, and I just wanted to add, that I find that super annoying. The person sharing that "wisdom" with me at the grocery store would regret saying anything.
That said, I don't think parents want to feel judged for their decisions... most of us are doing what we think is best.
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I've never actually seen anyone with a child improperly secured. The closest we came was a few months ago DH saw our neighbors' car and thought their seat was front facing. Their baby was 8 months and was the in the same daycare as us, so I told him if he was sure to ask the daycare to send out a reminder about carseat safety. Luckily he got a glimpse of the car again and realized the seat was fine.
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@mrs. bird: I mean, I can understand ignorance about some car seat safety, but what is the point of even putting them in the bucket seat if it's just going to go flying in an accident!? That must have been really hard for you two!
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To answer the original question: I have only seen it a couple times and it was a too-low chest clip on an acquaintance's child both times. I know I have snapped pictures of LO before pushing her chest clip up so I didn't want to assume and I didn't feel it was my place with someone I don't know well.
If someone was FF before 1 or doing something else illegal/really dangerous I would private message but thankfully I have not seen that!
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@rachiecakes: I'm in Canada and while they don't touch the seat or anything my nurses said they would look it over. I would hope they would make such an obvious correction. I get not guaranteeing that a seat is going to operate perfectly but when you know FOR SURE the seat will not do it's job the way it's being used, you'd think a correction could be made.
This is why I said something, it was a big mistake that could cost those people their newborn so I decided that it was probably better to potentially mildly embarrass her through a private message.
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@getjazzy: I had heard so many stories online about hospital "inspecting" your carseat and that you "couldn't leave the hospital without one" that I assumed that they would show me how. It wasn't even on my radar. Ugh. Luckily I had my iPad and Googled some tips before heading out.
In our city, some mamas just carry their newborns out and into cabs. -
@rachiecakes: some of the hospitals have staff that has been certified as a tech, my mom is, but she works for a hospital further west than you. if they're not certified, it's a liability. i think a lot of people are under the misconception that someone at the hospital is going to help them with the carseat. it would be nice if OBs gave out info on getting seats ready for baby prior to delivery.
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@rachiecakes: Wow! That's crazy about just jumping in to cabs! I would have never even thought about that but that's probably common. I'm super type A planner so I read my manuals and practiced with a teddy bear when I was pregnant. We still needed to modify the seat before leaving the hospital though! We had it set up for newborn and our LO didn't fit so we tore the thing apart to get this foam insert out haha that was stressful!
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@rachiecakes: I'm surprised the nurses can't say anything about your car seats where you are! We weren't allowed to leave the hospital until ours was checked out and it was confirmed we had strapped Logan in correctly!!
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@Adira: that's what I heard everywhere! I was like, in tears (hormones, lol) - what do you mean you can't comment on it???! I don't know what I'm doing with a baby!
But while I was waiting downstairs for DH to pull up with the car, a mom left with her bundled newborn in a cab. So many people use public transportation/T. -
@mrs. bird: totally agree! it was the one thing that never came up in any of the classes I took and the classes were pretty thorough - BFing, CPR, bathing, swaddling, diapering, massage, babyproofing, co-sleeping, postpartum issues, etc., everything, but nothing about car seat safety.
Like the LCs that come to visit you multiple times a day, they should absolutely have a certified tech stop by as you leave. -
At our hospital, west of the city, they made sure we had a carseat and watched as we buckled him in, but then didn't say anything. We were trying to do it so perfect, expecting be judged! And the nurse was just like "ok, if you're done you can leave." And we were like "what? that's it?" Haha.
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@rachiecakes: Our hospital couldn't comment on it either, which was really frustrating only because I thought they could and as a FTM I really wanted that extra guidance!! They had to check that we had a car seat....but beyond that, they said they couldn't comment.
And the fire stations around here only check car seats certain days of the week and times of the day; so it's not exactly easy to get that thing checked out by a pro.
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@rachiecakes: it's really sad that we can talk about all of those topics, but not carseat safety just because the liability risk is so great. No one is going to sue for millions over a bad baby massage, but if a nurse at the hospital said the chest clip was okay, but it was really too low & there was an accident where baby was hurt, you best believe there would be a massive lawsuit. We live in such a litigious society that people would rather be silent & knowingly let babies be put at risk than say anything that could possibly be used against them in the future. Here they do always ask to see the carseat, if there isn't one or it's really bad, they will find services to provide a seat for those that can't afford one. But they won't install or instruct unless certified.
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No. Not my place. In person, to a close friend, maybe. But to this point, that situation has not come up.
To be honest, unless there is something really egregious going on, I find it a little offensive. I try not to even post car seat photos, because I don't want to risk criticism.
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No I don't and honestly I find it bizarre that people are so fixated on that when there are so many other ways kids could get hurt. Maybe it has to do with the frequency with which people drive, but being city dwellers this isn't a big thing for us.
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This makes me think of the, "Why didn't anyone tell me I was wrong," blog post circulating FB... did you see this?
http://mommyofanagel51313.wordpress.com/2014/11/23/why-didnt-anyone-tell-me-i-was-wrong/
I haven't said anything to anyone online, but I think if I saw a friend doing something unsafe in person, I might say something. It would depend a lot on the person and the situation though.
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@MrsLilybugg: oops, just saw that you already posted a link to the same story.
That said, I don't think parents want to feel judged for their decisions... most of us are doing what we think is best.
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