Would you adopt from the US or another country? I would probably try to adopt a child from the US first.
Would you adopt from the US or another country? I would probably try to adopt a child from the US first.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I'd have to talk to DH about it. I wouldn't care either way.
honeydew / 7504 posts
We've talked about it and would probably adopt an older child from the US. Or be foster parents.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
There are so many children for adoption in Korea. I believe at one point in recent history that most international adoptions in the us were from korea. So I would probably adopt from Korea since I was born there and the process would be easier for me. And honestly it would be a lot easier for me to raise a Korean child. Mr bee actually has an adopted Korean sister!
coconut / 8234 posts
I'd adopt from the U.S. And most likely New York, I often peruse the ACS website and look at the kids who need to be adopted and it breaks my heart.
bananas / 9628 posts
I think we would adopt a girl from west Africa. DH's family is from there & I think it would be great to be able to raise them here in the US but still be able to keep some of the connections to their heritage
pear / 1639 posts
I would probably try US first, but I would like to from other places too, like Africa.
bananas / 9227 posts
We've thought about this extensively while we were TTC. I actually realized I wanted kids after teaching in Korea, plus it's when DH and I had gotten closer. Korea has a special tie to both of us and we still both work with Koreans everyday. So if we ever do adopt, it would be from Korea.
BUT, Korean adoption has been greatly limited to foreigners just recently. It also has strict criteria and long wait times. The length of time you've been married, the spacing and ages of the couple, plus the amount of children and spacing between your existing children are also taken into account. They even look at your BMI!
We haven't totally ruled it out, but right now we're just anticipating our baby to arrive and we'll see how we'll manage and if/how long it takes to conceive again.
persimmon / 1153 posts
We are adopting from the US at the moment. In the future we've talked about doing foster to adopt as well and maybe one international adoption.
I think international adoption can be very tricky. Each country and agency has different age, financial, some even health/weight requirements. You also want to choose a very stable country and be prepared for things to happen...like a few years ago when Russia stopped all adoptions and I believe China did something similar too.
bananas / 9227 posts
@looch: I think everyone means South Korea =P Do they even do adoptions in the north?
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I would say we would probably try to help a US child first and if that didn't work we would look into overseas, no where in particular.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
I have pretty set feelings on this, which you have already read. While I love the romantic notion of adopting internationally (my new favorite country is Mongolia), domestic infant was perfect for us! And now we have a daughter who is Asian, Black and NA!
@elsamgreer: How is your process going?
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@Crumbs: @looch: I'm positive North Korea doesn't do adoptions... they won't let ANYone out of the country, let alone fresh young kids.
I would have said Korea since Wagon Sr. and I are both Korean-Americans and we would be ideal in their eyes for an adoption, but we've had a few friends go through really difficult adoption processes... long, expensive, and heartwrenching. I can totally understand Korea cracking down a bit on their process since there was such a stigma of adopted Korean kids in the states in the 80s and 90s. One couple I know didn't get their son until a YEAR after they were matched with him-- and he's a pastor, she's an elementary school teacher, how much more ideal can you get than that?!? I hear through them and others that you are first on the list if you are both Korean born citizens, so Korean Americans still aren't ideal for them.
I think I would do a lot of research and choose based on need, cost, and typical speed of process. I know nothing about domestic or international adoption so I can't really answer this question!
If I had the heart for adoption though, I might consider being a foster parent.
cherry / 133 posts
We decided on domestic adoption fairly quickly. Regrettably, our situation has some complications that would make international adoption very challenging.
apricot / 348 posts
We plan to adopt domestically if we can and internationally - I have siblings adopted from Ethiopia so it has a really special place in my heart. As does Haiti, where we nearly adopted two little girls from until policies of the Haitian government changed at the last minute.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
My husband and I have talked about this and we would adopt domestically.
persimmon / 1202 posts
It depends. I want two biological kids. If they are a boy and a girl, then we might end up adopting a slightly older kid domestically, since we wouldn't care about gender (not older than our bio-kids, though.) If they are two boys, we'd probably try to adopt a girl from India. If they are two girls, we'd adopt a boy, possibly from somewhere in Africa (Ethiopia is the likely candidate.)
clementine / 773 posts
I don't know a lot about the process, but I would probably adopt domestically. I've heard about a few people who adopted internationally, and it sounds very challenging.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
I really want to adopt domestically, and because DH is African-American and I am Hispanic, we would want to adopt a biracial or African-American child. We would also be willing to adopt a toddler, but I am very hesitant about open adoption, so I'm not sure what our options are domestically.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@mrs. bird: we would do the same. I would love to adopt a Nigerian kiddo.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I adopted domestically. We brought our little boy home from the hospital. We also have an open adoption. My son sees his birth parents three times a year (separately, as they are no longer together)
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@daniellemybelle: what makes you hesitant about open adoption? Ours has been really lovely, and in fact we wish we had more contact!
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: I know, and that's awesome! I'm sure my feelings on this will grow and change as time goes on, and if and when we ever actually get involved in the adoption triad. But my reason right now is pretty selfish - I don't know that I could "share" our LO. I worry that it would be too painful or stressful to deal with ongoing contact. I know closed adoptions are not great for the whole triad, but I would prefer a semi-open adoption where the only contact is letters/pictures/etc. until the child is 18. It seems like those situations are very rare domestically.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@daniellemybelle: They are the most common form of "open" in my agency, actually... and in fact, that's the stage that we're in. We do pictures and letters once a month right now through the agency as intermediary, but we'd love to open it up more. I think it takes a lot of mystery out of it for the adoptee and it's no more sharing than sharing with Grandma or Auntie Jen (at least that's how I see it right now).
I think in order to place a child, birthmoms end up developing super clear cut emotional boundaries.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
If we couldn't have a biological kid, we would try to adopt domestically. It's not that we 'need to have an American baby', more that it seems like every day you hear some new story about international adoptions that were totally shady and I don't know if I could deal with weeding out the right agencies, etc. (NOT saying they all are, you just only hear the sensational bad news stories). I also like the idea of helping kids in our country first, but I also would want an infant, not an older child. We wouldn't care about race (we are both white).
I actually did think about this a lot after reading Mrs. Jack's posts about it.
persimmon / 1153 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: Our home study was just approved and we are working on our profile book!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I would probably be the example of a stressful open adoption. Two days after we brought our little guy home the father contested. The birth mother wanted to continue the adoption so we ended up in the courts where we had to pay and every one else got court appointed lawyers. During the process horrible things were said to and about us yet we were not making any of the decisions. In the end our three visits are court ordered. I have been trying to change and open my heart but I was so hurt during the process.
That being said I would absolutely do it all over again because my son is worth it and adoption is a blessing. I mever feel like im sharing him with another mother. I am his mommy and nothing can change that. Our case is very rare. They said they get less than one a year at our agency that is contested. And most are just letters and pictures through the agency.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Oceanis723: That sounds bad! I'm sorry you've had to go through that. We were only open to situations where both parents were on the same page about parenting or relinquishing... The only blip we had was with one of the GMs... and she came around in the end.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: That's interesting to find out. I'll admit I don't have a lot to base it on, but I felt like much more open adoptions were more the norm, with regular visits and that sort of thing. Monthly pictures and letters through the agency sounds perfect to me - but who knows if once we adopted, I'd want to open it up more!
This is an interesting discussion... there was a time I wasn't sure I even wanted biological children, but just wanted to adopt. Now I feel that biological urge to procreate a lot more, and I know if we are unable to conceive, I will really seriously mourn those biological children. Now my hope is a couple kids the old-fashioned way, and then adoption. But DH always says that once we have kids, we have to be sure that we are making the right choice for our family before we adopt. So we'll see!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
@Mrs.Jacks. It was unfortunate. The birth father had ignored all calls from the birth mother and her family. So everyone thought he was out of the picture. He was until he received the paper work. Then he came forward. It was a mess. Like I said though still worth it! I would go through anything for my little guy.
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