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Ahhhhhh, shit nobody says to dads lol. Much helpful.

I've found that the things that made you feel good before becoming a mom, still feel good after.

I am so happy being a working mom, but I really hate my job. So I'm working on that aspect. Yeah I miss my kids, but I don't have the desire to spend all day with them. I also miss DH sometimes but am not going to spend the day at his beck and call, either, lol. Burn out is real, man. I'm exhausted but I'm happy. If I'm home for a few days, I get bored. My brain gets stagnant SO FAST. I get bored at work, too, so I'm of the belief I just need a very dynamic environment. I can only play with blocks so damn much.

Also I feel so much more equal with DH. We BOTH have the same burdens to share, it isn't "she does this and he does that". There's very little I feel guilty about. Maybe 5% of the time, I feel bad or sad about something related to working. But that's life. I also don't feel like a crappy employee. I get my work done and I do it well. If I can't come in, so be it, but I get my bases covered.

I really hated the idea that I wouldn't feel the same way when the baby came. I know myself well enough to know it wouldn't change-and it didn't. It's hard but it's not impossible and having an all in partner makes all the difference. He's got my back and I've got his.

And I feel intent to show my kids that you can work and have a great career AND have a wonderful home and family life. That they aren't mutually exclusive

I think you got lots of great encouragement, and maybe I can give you a little more from a different perspective. I planned on being a WOHM but then lost my job and ended up staying home 1.5 years and by 6 mo in I desperately wanted to be a SAHM forever. When I got a job last month I sobbed. Every day. For a week. I don't want to work, I have to work. So I went back to work. And I expected it to be JUST AWFUL.

Shockingly, even as someone who would rather stay at home, it doesn't suck! I was sure I'd spend all day aching to be with my toddler, but it is sort of "out of sight out of mind" for the most part and I'm busy and it just isn't something I am that concerned about during the day. Talking with adults is fun. Being able to eat what I want when I want is fun. Being able to have 2, or 3(!) cups of HOT coffee is nice. I adjusted my schedule to leave at 4:30 so I can get to daycare by 5 and have 3 hours at night with LO. I thought that would seem like not nearly enough time but it actually seems okay (I wouldn't want less, but 3 hours is okay).

The worst part about it is I'm unhappy with LO's daycare and so that stresses me out. But I feel like if I actually thought she was happy during the day I would be totally fine with our current situation. If money was no object I'd still rather be home, but given that is not my reality I think I would happy and content.

So-- I'd think if I actually WANTED to work I'd be exceedingly happy now.

There are certainly things about it that are challenging, but overall it's much easier than I expected it to be. I think my jaw would drop if one of my coworkers said the things your colleagues are saying.

There's a certain type of person who wants to be mommy all day and a certain type who doesn't, and I just happen to be the second type. I don't think there is a problem with either. I was a SAHM for 17 months and it made me a miserable bitch. I was bitter and resentful the whole time. I hated that my husband worked such long hours, and would need to leave for weeks at a time, and it felt like I did everything on my own. There are no breaks from it. It was relentless. Going back to work made me so much happier.

I work full time now and I am a kick ass employee. I don't like my job, but I like working. I like feeling like I'm accomplishing something besides laundry. I like contributing financially. I like being around adults. Its made me a calmer mom who yells less, and it makes me appreciate. my time with her more.

I think it just depends on temperament. Some women thrive on being a domestic goddess and raising their kids... It's okay to not be one of them. I'm sure as hell not. Lol

@Mae: I agree with a lot of what you said!

I always wanted to be a SAHM (or a WAHM with lots of flexibility). I really wanted to be a SAHM after LO was born and even when I was working and she was in a combo of daycare/Grandma-care. There were some times that were really hard, for sure - for LO and for me. We never quite felt like it was the right set-up for our family, mostly because it was not what we had envisioned.

But, overall, it was fine! I enjoyed my work a lot, we had a good routine, and LO was totally okay. There were some hiccups that made things more challenging but they were unique to our situation and if they hadn't happened it would have been more than okay. If we had continued with me working and her going to school, she would have thrived, for sure.

So, if someone who wanted to SAH feels like working/daycare was fine, I think if you want to work, you will be happy! There will be hard moments. Parenting is full of them no matter the choices you make.

I SAH now (WAH very part-time during naps) and I love it. I will not shy away from saying that I think it is great for our family - but I still experience guilt, sadness, worry, etc. You will not escape that!

Many people have given lots of good reasons to not feel bad about being a working mom, but I just wanted to add that it's ok to choose work even without these reasons!

I think we could be fine without my salary, I would be content and competent as a stay-at-home parent, and I like my job well enough but I don't find work tremendously fulfilling. But I still work and don't feel bad about working or about having someone else take care of my kids (And as others have pointed out, my husband doesn't have to offer any of these reasons to justify his continued work.) Other people might make the same decision a different way, and I say, do whatever you like!

I do feel like I am in a privileged position in that we have chilcare we loved, I have a lot of flexibility in my job, and my husband also takes a lot of childcare responsibility. We are often tired and stressed, but I think we would feel this way with two small children no matter the working arrangements.

I think I am doing a less-than-my best job at work. But I also worked very hard for many years and I expect to work harder in the future. This is ok with me, and I hope I can use my experience to be generous with my colleagues as they go through seasons of personal demands that take them away from work (kids, taking care of elderly parents, their own medical issues.)

I don't want to repeat too much about what others say. I love my teaching job and it is a big part of my identity. I am fortunate enough to have decent hours and summers off, which helps me feel like I have more balance in my life.

I would not be happy being a stay at home mom. I love using my mind, being a professional, and having an identity outside of being a mom (and using my masters degree). Sometimes I wish I could do a part time teaching job while my kids are young, but that isn't really an option.

It was hard to go back to work when DS was only 4.5 months old. I wish I had a longer maternity leave, but it gets better and easier with time. I'm sure it will be even more challenging once DS 2 arrives and I go back to work.