If your friends are throwing/threw you a shower did you invite MIL?

By hilsy85 Jun 28, 2012

Two of my best friends have offered to throw me a baby shower. I'm SUPER excited. They just asked me for a guest list. Initially, I did not include MIL on the guest list because she honestly didn't come to mind. However, is it rude to not invite her? I did ask that my mom and sister be invited to my friends' shower. I just feel like MIL wouldn't really "fit" with a group of my friends...and I feel like I would be concerned about needing to babysit her and make sure she's comfortable the whole time. It kind of stresses me out to think about.

My mom will also be throwing me a shower, which MIL and DH's side of the family will be invited to. So she will definitely be involved in celebrating LO with us.

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18 comments

regberadaisy
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts

Jun 28, 2012

Hm. I would say since you will be having a "family" shower then it's fine not to invite MIL to the "friend" shower. But then you're inviting your mom....is MIL the type to feel slighted that your mom is invited and not her?
mrs. wagon
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts

Jun 28, 2012

If I invited my mom, I'd invite my MIL. Neither were invited to either of my showers because it was just friends, and both my mom and MIL are from out of town.
MamaMoose
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts

Jun 28, 2012

I agree that if your mom is invited your MIL should be invited as well. I know it's kind of a bummer, but I also know my MIL would probably flip out on my hubs if I didn't invite her in a situation like that and it just wouldn't be worth the fight.
autumnlove
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts

Jun 28, 2012

I definitely invited my MIL and didn't invite my Mom.. My Mom feels sooooo strongly against showers of any kind and didn't want me to have any...bridal or baby!
My MIL asked if she could bring her best friend so she could have a friend there. We were totally fine with it and they had a blast!
hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@regberadaisy: I don't think she's the type to feel slighted, especially since she's not a stickler for etiquette or anything...she's from Russia and SUPER superstitious about buying anything for the baby, so to be honest, I think she'd prefer that we didn't have a shower, period.

@mrs. wagon: I originally thought it would be just friends, but my mom and I are very close, and I DO think she'd be offended if she weren't invited, especially since she adores all my girlfriends.

@autumnlove: How come she didn't want you to have any showers? I feel like my MIL might actually feel the same way, considering she doesn't believe in buying anything for the baby before he's born.
MamaMoose
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@hilsy85: hhmhh... well now that you give more info it sounds like maybe she would prefer not to be invited if she doesn't really like the idea of showers or presents before the baby. Have you asked your hubs what he thinks?
hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@MamaMoose: noo...mainly because I'm afraid that if I ask him, he'll say that she'd LOVE to be included, lol. I mean, I'm sure that she would be happy to be invited...but I don't think she'd be offensed to not be invited, you know? I haven't actually asked her her viewpoint on baby showers, I just kind of assumed that she would of course attend the family shower my mom is throwing. But based on that fact that she hasn't gotten the baby anything (and has said that she feels "scared" to buy anything, it's not because she doesn't want to) I'm guessing she'd be okay with not being at a 2nd shower/friend shower?
Modern Daisy
grapefruit / 4187 posts

Jun 28, 2012

I think as long as she is invited to the shower your Mom is throwing then you're fine. Especially if you guys aren't that close and she is against presents for the unborn babe in general.

If this was your ONLY shower I might say suck it up and invite her, but even then you might be okay not inviting her depending on the situation.
LuLu Mom
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

Jun 28, 2012

I'm inviting my MIL to my side family showers, and inviting my mom to my DH's side, but I'm not including either mom in the friend's shower. It's more laid back and I want it to just be all my closest girlfriends.

But If I did my mom I would probably do my MIL as well so she didn't feel left out, she doesn't have daughters so I try to include her in as many girlie things she would normally miss out on having only boys.
hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@Modern Daisy: yeah originally I thought I would have a family shower, and invite like 3 friends, and then she was of course going to be invited...but now, I guess I like the idea of keeping the family and friends showers as separate as possible!
hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@jessiejo17: Wah that makes me feel bad because MIL also only has sons....I guess I feel like she's not really a "girlie" mom though? I don't know! I always feel kind of awkward around her, even though she's very sweet...
autumnlove
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@hilsy85: My Mom just thinks showers are greedy and a complete embarrassment! I don't agree with her and we argue whenever the topic comes up!
hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@autumnlove: ah ok, understandable that you didn't invite her in that case, lol.
LuLu Mom
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@hilsy85: sorry! Wasn't trying to make you feel bad. My MIL isn't overly girly either, but I try to include her when it feels right. I would do whatever makes you comfortable!
hilsy85
squash / 13764 posts

Jun 28, 2012

@jessiejo17: haha no don't worry about it...I have an over active guilt complex, lol.
chopsuey
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts

Jun 28, 2012

Yep! Mil was invited to mine!
HabesBabe
grapefruit / 4400 posts

Jun 28, 2012

Better safe than sorry-- I'd just invite her (esp if your mom is invited) to prevent any drama, even if you don't think she would feel slighted.
Rubies
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts

Jun 28, 2012

I think you're okay not having your MIL invited since she'll be attending your "family" shower.

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If your friends are throwing/threw you a shower did you invite MIL?

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