If your older LO was 20-24 month-ish when LO2 was born, how did it go? LO will be 22 months. Curious for what to expect, stories (good and bad) and what helped the transition.
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My LO was 19.5 months to be exact and it's going great! No jealousy, super helpful, no sleep regressions. It was a little hard at first but nothing major and I'd totally do it again!
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@Mrs. Sunshine: no jealousy! OMG send me some of those vibes!!!! Thanks!
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Our first was 22 months when his sister arrived... it went great! It helped that he had bonded to me before the baby came, so that Bee could focus on the baby and he wouldn't feel neglected.
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A little out of your range at 26 month apart and it has been great! No jealousy, wants to be super helpful. I think it's a great spacing.
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@mrbee: I forgot that was your spacing! I was reading about your bonding and I think while DH and LO are definitely bonded, I'll ask him to focus on it more for the next month too. While I hate that we had to start daycare, it almost makes her appreciate the time with us more! WE are planning to keep up her daycare schedule when LO2 arrives.
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@pinkb: I could definitely use some "helpful!" LOL! Thanks!
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As far as the relationship between my two it has been fantastic! At 14 and 34 months now the boys love each other and play together great. Labor and me being at the hospital was really difficult for my older lo so I would recommend maybe having a night or two away if your lo is not used to you being away. He was allll about DH for a while after lo2 was born which made me sad and he would totally freak out if he couldn't see at least one of us at all times. It was really bad for a few weeks and improved over a couple months. No lie the first few months are hard but it is so worth it! We are thinking about a third and I would love the same gap but we are just not ready yet
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@kjpugs: totally sending you harmonious vibes! I hope everyone in your household transitions well!
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Xander was 21 months when Logan was born. At first, he wasn't all that interested in the baby and mainly ignored him, but he acted out a ton, hitting us and throwing tantrums. That lasted about 6 weeks. Now Logan is 7 months and Xander LOVES him. He does tummy time with him and gives him toys to play with and tries to help me feed him. He gives him hugs at bedtime and loves to visit him in the infant room at daycare. Good luck!
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Mine are 20 months apart and it has been wonderful. DS1 showed no jealousy and the transition was very smooth. I think it was easier because he was younger. The boys truly love each other and seeing that bond is amazing.
Yes it can be hard for mama when both need you. But the positives outweigh any negative. I hope to have about a 2 year age gap again.
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Oh and many people will tell you the negatives. But don't let it scare you. My experience was just the opposite.
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We are one month in (20 months apart) and so far it's been mostly good! Very little jealousy!
Our biggest problem is he wants so badly to help with the baby but is so rough with his love
he often will try and take her out of the bassinet or unbuckle her car seat. I can't leave her alone for a second! It's really cute but scary.
I think ghings that helped (esp because my DS is not super verbal) was reading big brother books and practicing petting things gently. -
Our boys are 20 months apart. DS1 loved DS2 from day 1 and was never jealous. There were a few rough times here and there (mainly when DH worked nights) but the good far outweighed the bad in our experience.
I just tried to go into it with no expectations and things have really worked out. I am way more laid back this time around too, which has helped. We had to do quite a bit of screen time for DS1 while I constantly nursed DS2, but that only lasted a few months. Now they play together all the time and really enjoy each other! DS1 is almost 3 and DS2 just turned 1
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DD1 is 23.5 months older than DD2 we haven't had an issue at all with jealousy. She took to being a big sister really easily.
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Mine are almost exactly 22 months apart. My son handled the transition really well. He wasn't super into the baby but he didn't get jealous or act out or anything like that. He did struggle a little at first with not getting as much of my attention. Like DH had to do bedtime and he would cry a little for me at first. Now at 10 months and 2.5, they just love each other so much! They giggle at each other and play together. My DD follows my son around the house. It's so much fun!
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Mine are 22 mos apart. The transition was super easy. Older DS loved younger DS so much, and just wanted to hug and smooch him all the time! Anytime they were near each other he wanted to be holding his hand. Our parenting situation is a little different - DH is a SAHD so he and older DS already had a strong bond, like @mrbee mentioned I think that REALLY helped. And it freed me up to do most of the newborn care and nursing and pumping. The only thing a little traumatic was that my MIL was staying with older DS while we were at the hospital, DH came and went but was home a lot with older DS - but he got pretty fussy around day 4 (when I came home) and it cleared up as soon as MIL left. I think he was just not used to having someone else besides mom and dad around all the time.
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Mine are 22 months apart, and it went really badly. My older daughter loved the baby, but was crazy jealous. She punched the baby in the face a lot, and would attempt to smush her or stand or her or smother her. She also had a crazy regression where she stopped talking, wouldn't eat solids, wanted to be carried everywhere, cried all the time, wanted to be swaddled and sleep in the bassinette, didn't want me out of her sight, etc. I had a bad birth and a tough recovery and was in the hospital for a week, which didn't help anything either. I gave her loads of attention and indulged the baby thing, and we did lots of activities so she wouldn't get bored. It just took awhile and lots of screen time and no dinners being cooked until I got the hang of it! Def a challenge at first but now it feels really natural and positive!
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mine are 20 months apart and the transition went well! the first day was a little hard when she saw me holding the baby, but within a day or two she was back to her old self. we never had any major jealousy issues and just tried to give her enough attention. now at 2.5yr and 11 mo they are great except when DS tries to take toys from DD... i'm not sure how its possible that they always want to play with the same toy!
ETA: as far as tips, i'd def try to keep the routine the same for lo1 as much as possible. and get lo1 to help out with the new baby when possible.
he often will try and take her out of the bassinet or unbuckle her car seat. I can't leave her alone for a second! It's really cute but scary.
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