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It sounds like he did a lot so maybe you can drop hints next year about stuff you want to do as a family.

I don't think you're being a brat--I totally understand what you mean about it not feeling special and your DH not having planned anything special. I do, however, think that often men (people in general, but especially men!) are not mind readers, and if we want something we need to say, "You know what, I'd really love it if you thought of something fun for us to do today! Surprise me!".

I totally get it though--my mother's day was very meh, Lo was a cranky tired mess, I had to get up with him at 6:30am, DH took 2 naps (!) and I didn't get to rest at all, and I didn't feel at all special or pampered. That being said, he did get me a gorgeous necklace--he is excellent at gift giving and in general being a great man/husband, but definitely kind of clueless as to how nice it would have been for me to skip the daily drudgery of cleaning/meal making/caring for LO's every need, etc. I think next year I will just tell him that I want to lie on the couch or on a picnic blanket and be fed grapes all day, and not lift a finger

I wouldn't say you're being a brat, you're entitled to your feelings. I would just say that unless you voiced to DH that you were expecting more, he'll never know how to make it better. Men are totally clueless at times (lots of times), and I know mine personally is horrible with making plans in advance.

That being said, I am one of those women who "got" less than you did. My DH worked the entire day at a job I asked him to not take in the first place. I made my own breakfast while DH was still asleep before work, after he left I changed 4 poop diapers (how did he poop so many times?!?), cleaned up barf from hysterical crying, and found out that DH had put a giant dent in DS's brand new dresser, right in the front. He sent me strawberries, which I got the day before and that was my gift. Other than that, my day was spent alone with DS.

I had a meltdown during the day and cried to him about it (while he was at work). He came home with flowers and cards (which he only got because I complained). We literally had take out pizza for dinner. It was basically my idea of a terrible day. Lol

All that being said, I would say something to him. Men are just clueless.

@hotchildinthecity: My husband is the same way!

For my first mother's day, I had to be very explicit and told Hubs to take me out to lunch and bring me to the jewelers to get a charm bracelet.

@Meowkers: It sounds like your husband definitely did better than most (a photo book??? I would LOVE for my husband to be so thoughtful!!!!), but I definitely feel you if it didn't meet your expectations. Maybe next year, you can just tell him upfront about how you'd like to go out and do something special.

Feelings are never wrong, it's how you deal with them, that's what I always say.

@cookiemomster: @Meowkers: right there with you ladies. I totally feel/felt selfish for wanting more from yesterday. My husband got me some stuff, but that's all it was...stuff, like it was my birthday or something. I was hurt and I opened my big mouth and told him so. I explained that Mother's Day (as I always saw it in my eyes) would've been wonderful if I got something mother-related. I dropped all sorts of hints about different things ("mom" mugs, necklaces with the girls' birthstones, or shoot..just a card that they scribbled on), but instead I got a book that I already read before. He told me that he appreciated me telling him, so he knows what to do next time. I still feel like a jerk for being ungrateful.

If you had specific expectations, I think you should have spoken up and next year, be specific. Asked him to do the dishes if you didn't want to do them. Told him you want to go out to eat. He can't read your mind!

@hilsy85: I agree. I can easily see thinking that the big brunch was the big event for all the mothers - including you. I wouldn't assume that my spouse would want 2 separate brunches/big events - 1 for them, and 1 for everyone else; unless they explicitly told me so.

I don't want to say that you're being a brat, but that sounds like my ideal Mother's Day.

I was telling DH that us hosting Mother's Day is really stressful for me, so he always tries to make Saturday special...or if he can't do that, another day. We hosted as usual with a ton of people, but they weren't coming over until about 3. He helped me get everything ready on Saturday, let me sleep in on Sunday and we spent the morning just hanging out with the three of us. I chased LO around the house with him giggling all morning, then sat and watched a show with him. It was perfect.

In the afternoon, DH tried to get me to relax while he took care of most of the hosting. At night, I gave LO a bath while he cleaned everything up. And he paid attention throughout the year and got me a wind chime that I've been wanting as well as a day at the spa.

It sounds as if your DH was really thoughtful in getting you flowers, chocolates and spending time making a photo book for you. He also made you breakfast which sounds lovely! I know you're disappointed that he didn't have an elaborate day planned for you, but did he know you wanted something planned? Men aren't mind readers and can't tell what you're thinking. If I hadn't let my DH know that hosting stresses me out, he wouldn't have paid such close attention to that this weekend and it would have been stressful. Instead, he helped me SO much, and I'm eternally grateful to him for that. A little bit of communication goes a long way!

You can't help how you feel, but it sounds like he was really thoughtful to me. If you're asking what to do about your feelings, I would focus on what he did do for you and set more clear expectations next year when it rolls around again.

I don't think you should feel badly about how you feel, but you do need to let him know your expectations for Mother's Day. We had miscommunication, and I got nothing. We had said no big gifts or anything like that, but stuff made by the kids. Given that our son is almost 18 months, DH figured he had awhile before that went into effect, and so he planned nothing. I planned to visit his mom yesterday morning, his sister and I made the gift, and I planned to visit my mom and got her gift too. We talked about how I would have liked to do something/have a card/something scribbled by LO, and he claims he's already planning to make it up to me because he didn't realize what was meant by our conversation.

Moral of the story is let him know or you'll have multiple Mother's Days like that!

I think by reading the responses, it's clear everyone has a different idea of the perfect Mother's Day, so I don't think it's easy for husbands to work out the best day for their wife.

My DH asked if I wanted a big present and dinner out, but I told him I would much prefer a bit of a lie in, for him to do more stuff for LO, for us all to go to the park so LO could play and some nice dessert. If he had gone with his instincts it would have been nice, obviously, but I wanted a much more low key day and didn't want him spending money on a big present right now.

I do think it would be useful to tell him, gently, what you would like on Mother's Day, as it sounds like he does really want to please you and for you to have a nice day.

I don't think your feelings are wrong. They are what they are, you can't help how you felt. But I agree with others about opening up more about what you'd like to do for MD next year instead of expecting more silently!

My day yesterday was low-key as well. We were out of town until late Sat night and I knew DH didn't have time to plan anything in advance so I didn't have any high expectations We went to brunch/church, which isn't too out of the norm for us anyway. He ran out while DS and I dozed off for a nap and brought me flowers/card. We went last minute shopping for a few things for my mom and went to their house for dinner. What meant more to me than anything was what DH said to me before bed about how he appreciates me so much and even moreso since becoming parents, etc. And that he has more planned for upcoming "holidays," because he didn't have the time to put into MD what he would like to have done for me, had we been in town. He lifted my spirits before I had a chance to be "disappointed," but I'm sure I would've felt a tinge of that today had it not been for his sweet words last night!

@Meowkers: I think venting here is a great idea! I get exactly how you're feeling (not about Mother's Day in particular, but in other situations). It's a crummy feeling. It sounds like your husband made a big effort to make the day special for you, so I'd advise against saying anything to him about it now - it'll just hurt his feelings. But when next May rolls around, be VERY specific "Honey, I was thinking I'd really enjoy XYZ for Mother's Day this year."
Good luck with sorting out your feelings. Usually I need a good vent, explicit internal talk "JoyfulKiwi you are grateful for this because...", and some time.

Honestly, I feel all holidays have become pretty sensationalized, in general; Mother's Day is no exception. It's easy to get caught up in how we "should" be celebrated, especially when you're treated to an influx of pressure on television and social media, weeks before. The days of macaroni necklaces and bitter, child-made pancakes seem to be long gone, and replaced with diamonds and grand gestures.

We had a similar, chill day, at home. We went to church as a family, and hosted my folks for brunch; nothing too flashy. However, I definitely wanted an easy, relaxing day, so I think your Mother's Day sounds great. It's okay to desire something different. But, I think you need to be specific, in order to avoid unintentional and/or irrational hurt. My husband and I got on the subject of Father's Day last night and I hinted at a day trip I thought he'd really dig. He surprised me by saying that he'd really like to have a free afternoon to play soccer, but would love to BBQ with family, that night.

It's okay to express your preferences, in the future. And sometimes, you need to vent to make peace with a situation that disappointed, for whatever reason. Above all else, it sounds like your husband really did try and cares about making you feel special!

@Meowkers: I think it's perfectly fine to feel bummed. I didn't even get a card from my DH this year, and last night I told him very clearly what I want in the future (at least a card...I LOVE getting cards!). I could expect him to guess and get upset when he doesn't come through, (I know you mentioned him making reservations several time, so that doesn't necessarily apply here), but I know he's not a mind reader and I've found over the years that it's just easier to be explicit about what I want from him, especially if it's about something that matters to me.

Side note: a photo book? SWOON. I *wish* D would be that thoughtful!