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I'm always on the other side of this because DS is very big and strong for his age and a true "alpha" male, pushing everyone out of the way, leading the charge, etc. While DH and I do our best to stay on top of him at all times and intervene when he inevitably bullies another kid (most of the time older and bigger than him!), I'm sure there have been times when we were turning away for a second and missed it. It happens so fast. I would never blame another parent for defending their child and gently reprimanding my son. It is super embarrassing to be on the other side adn I am constantly apologizing!
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I would have reacted the same way. My husband refers to me as "mama bear" whenever someone is picking on my child. I'm extremely protective of DS. I'm not one to say something to someone else's child, but with any sort of physical contact that can hurt someone, I say something.
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@Modern Daisy: I am sorry that you have been on the other side.
@Thrifty Mama: I really do generally try to leave it alone with other child. Not my monkeys sort of thing, however when it come to the potential harm of my child; the momma bear comes out. -
@SweetiePie: When I am with my son, I watch him like a hawk. Chances are I have seen and diffused a situation well before any parents sees anything. Now, I could understand if I wasn't paying any attention, sipping my coffee over in the corner, but I am usually right there, playing along, something else I get the stink eye from! But, my point is, sometimes, my son will just ignore whoever is talking to him. That's his way of dealing with the situation when he knows he's wrong and what does that prove? What lesson could anyone think he's absorbing at that moment? That's why I would prefer the chance to deal with it myself, because my method is going to be more effective because I've BTDT with him.
I think the lesson is really that the "comment" are the issue, and I don't even hear them most of the time and I certainly don't engage in that, no matter how stinging the commentary is!
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Omg! I would be fuming if this happened to my kid. Closed fist and the kid was twice his age - I can't imagine any parent allowing that to happen. You did right to intervene. It was at a public place, not some school playground where kids are supposed to fend for themselves, especially not at 3yo.
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@SugarplumsMom: N can get adsorbed in his surroundings very easily. So when we are out in large public spaces I watch him very closely. Closed fist was a huge game charger for me. No need to strike my kid.
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@mediagirl: +1
You know, I wouldn't be mad at you if it was my kid and I would have totally said something to both the kid and the mom (probably right in front of her buddies, after her comment). Of course, I have no problem with another parent saying something to her, as long as it's constructive. I'd be pissed as hell if I caught someone yelling at her.
My DD is 3.5 and very, very tall for her age. She is much bigger than kids her age, so that sometimes causes issues. I've caught C getting a little too rough before and I always intervene, apologize to the parent, and make her apologize to the kid. Even if the roughness wasn't malicious, and was just due to her not realizing how much bigger than other kids she is.
Bottom line, I want to know if my kid is being a dick, so I can teach her how to not be a dick.
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@loveisstrange: N has been known to be what I call aggessively friendly. I intervene and correct him plus apologize to both parent and child. Just wasn't the case this time. Just wish the mum hadn't been so snarky about it all. I have always been on board with someone alerting me to N's poor behavior, as long as like you said its constructive.
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Do you think that maybe the other kid's mom didn't see his little balled up fist, and only saw the push? (Or the aftermath of the push since she doesn't sound like she was 100% paying attention to him.) That may somewhat explain her reaction of being kind of snarky.
Either way, I would have reacted EXACTLY how you did. No way some kid is going to hurt my LO with me just standing there and watching silently! It would never ever happen!
Also, I am a teacher, so I am very comfortable with disciplining other people's children, since it comes with the job. I try to reign it in when I'm not at work, but that is a definite situation where I would have spoken up.
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@Lilbear: she saw none of the interaction. She had moved on in the exhibit.
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If an older kid is physically (or otherwise) hurting my child then I would step in. I don't care, bring on the dirty looks.
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@loveisstrange: Yep.
I would have reacted and have reacted the same way in similar situations. Hell, I've even done it with a group of kids who were picking on some other kid and my kid wasn't even involved! I'm not going to stand on the sidelines while watching a child get bullied. My kid or otherwise.
L is on the smaller side so he's usually the one who tends to get picked on, but he can definitely be bossy and pushy and I have zero problems if another parents gets to him before I do and let's him know that isn't ok.
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@.twist.:
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