So I'm hosting a baby shower for my sister and am starting to think invites. My sister has adamantly insisted that she does NOT want to open gifts at the party. Is this okay? Personally I don't feel that it is, but that's me. The baby WILL be born prior to the shower if that makes a difference. How can I word this on the invites so people either don't wrap their gifts or know not to expect them to be opened?
Edited to add a poll.
121 votes
pomegranate / 3105 posts
Is it really that big of a deal? I've gone to lots of baby and wedding showers where the ladies didn't open gifts and it wasn't noted on the invite.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I would think that it's either plan to open gifts at the shower, or request no gifts.
People love watching the mother-to-be open her gifts and get excited with her! I know I do! It may be awkward for the mama but it's part of the expectation that comes when someone graciously throws you a shower.
could be regional maybe - but I've never been to a shower where they didn't open gifts.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I had a "sprinkle"with my mom after the baby was born. The invite worded it as an open house rather than a shower. No one expected gifts to be opened. After most people had gone we did sit down with the remainder of close friends and opened gifts.
pear / 1812 posts
@babycanuck: really? I've never seen it before! What do you DO the whole time then??
pomegranate / 3105 posts
@NurseMommy: Food, games, mingle...definitely the games get upped.
kiwi / 645 posts
That's a tricky one! I've never seen it done that way. I wish I could have opened presents later, but some of my in-laws would've had a fit. It embarrasses me to sit in front of everyone for that long and be the center of attention!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
I personally love watching new moms open gifts, but if she really doesn't want to then I would do an open house style shower.
pomelo / 5678 posts
I kinda think she has to. I hate opening gifts and that dynamic so I never wanted a shower. I sound like a scrooge 
pomegranate / 3779 posts
I think it would be ok if it was an open house, but if it's a shower, then it's weird not to open the gifts.
pear / 1743 posts
I have heard post-baby showers referred to as "Sip and Sees" and I think if you focus on that tangent then people will feel a) less obliged to bring gifts but also b) less likely to be offended if gifts aren't opened at the party.
persimmon / 1420 posts
If she doesn't want to open gifts while everyone sits around in a big circle, an alternate would be to quietly go up to everyone while they are talking/mingling and open the gift in front of the gift giver. That way, they can see you open their gift, but she's not on display in front of the whole party. We did this at our baby shower, and it worked beautifully. Granted, this only worked because we had our shower at our friend's brewery, so the logistics worked well.
kiwi / 687 posts
Yes, people have their expectations. But at the end of the day, the whole thing is intended to honor and celebrate your sister, so whatever makes her happy should be accepted by guests who care about her. I wouldn't mention gifts ahead of time at all unless she actually doesn't want any - getting all into specifications about wrapping or unwrapping on the invitation feels tacky to me.
pomelo / 5621 posts
It would seem strange to be at a shower and the gifts not opened. To me the whole point of the shower it to spoil the mom with gifts.
But if she really doesn't want to then I wouldn't make her. I don't think you have to put anything on the invite about it. If someone puts up a big stink then she could open their gift with them. Maybe just let people know gifts won't be opened so not everyone is surprised.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
What @SweetMamaM: said. Don't call it a shower and it should be ok. She will have already purchased a lt of the big gear anyway and people will still bring smaller things, but without te if expectation of the opening.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
If you don't call it a shower, I think it's okay, but I totally think she should suck it up!!!
pomegranate / 3895 posts
Call it a sip 'n see instead of a shower? We had one of these after dd was born and it was totally fine. We specified no gifts, but everyone still brought them. Everyone was way more interested in meeting dd and socializing than in the gifts. We opened them the next morning and, of course, sent thank you cards.
Honestly, I hate opening gifts in front if everyone and I don't really like it as a shower attendee either....it's definitely not the highlight of the day for me
pomegranate / 3791 posts
I also like the idea of calling it a Sip n See, less obligations all around that way, you're just inviting people to come meet the baby! In my mind (and I think most people's) shower = gifts. And yeah, if I'm coming to a gift-giving event I would like to see the person open it and that they like it.
pomegranate / 3212 posts
I didn't at my wedding shower (I'm super shy!) and no one seemed to care. I think if I hadn't at the baby shower there would have been a riot though! (1st grandbaby both sides)
pomegranate / 3105 posts
@heartonastring: This. I find sitting around watching someone open gifts for an hour kind of boring...I'd actually rather leave the party. lol
pomegranate / 3350 posts
I think the only shower I went to after the baby was born was more of an open house/meet the new baby kind of thing. They did not open gifts that I remember and it wasn't a big deal at all. I don't know if the invitation mentioned anything but probably not. I don't see what's wrong with just a regular party with food and drinks, etc. BTW - is this for women only? Because I'd think that type of party would have higher expectations of gift opening. If it was all family and friends being invited then I imagine the expectations might be different?
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I don't think opening gifts is a requirement for showers!
pear / 1812 posts
@skipra: I've never ever been to a shower before the baby's born. It just doesn't seem like it's done around here.
My sister is being difficult (what else is new) and refusing to call it a sip n' see. She said we'll just call it a shower and she will tell people she's not opening gifts. So, fine. After tonight (there's more to the story than just that) I want to not even plan the damn thing for her anymore, especially since I'm planning another big party for dd's first birthday two weeks later!
honeydew / 7916 posts
@NurseMommy: I also agree that with the timing and not opening gifts it sounds more like a sip and see than a shower! But I suppose no one needs to be told in advance that gifts won't be opened there.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
If it's an open house, and I see gifts piled at, say, the doorway, I don't think about it. But a traditional shower? I tbink it's expected! I have never been to a shower where presents aren't opened, though! Sorry she's being difficult: it doesn't reflect on you if she tells everyone she isn't opening gifts
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
I would just not call it a shower so the emphasis is not on the showering part. 
Plus, if baby will be there everyone will be focused on seeing the new lo!
coconut / 8430 posts
I didn't realize that opening gifts was a requirement for a shower. I would think everyone would be more interested in seeing the new baby anyhow.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
I wouldn't mind going to a shower where the guest of honor didn't open gifts, so I voted "no big deal". I thought the whole point was to celebrate her. Some people don't like the big fanfare, and I've been to wedding and baby showers where gifts weren't open at the event. Maybe it's a regional thing.
grapefruit / 4079 posts
The new trend in my area is to say (in nicer wording) not to wrap gifts. We did it at mine after seeing it at a few before hand. People seemed to love it. We had tags left out for people to label who got what. My older guests who wanted their gifts wrapped and open I did privately with them for a special moment.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Really? Since when is sitting around for 2 hours watching someone else open gifts fun?
I have previous little time as it is, so if I could skip the gift opening, I'd be happy.
Eta: it totally depends in the size if the shower. 60 people? No. 10, okay.
coffee bean / 43 posts
We I'd this st my shower, the invitation said "gifts unwrapped". I was worried it was presumptuous that people would bring fits (even though that's what you do!). Some people didn't gt it and the main problem was that gifts came without tags and we had no idea who they were from. Martha Stewart calls it a "display shower" and recommends something like: In order to save time and paper, please leave your gift unwrapped. Just place a bow and a card on it.
Gl!
coffee bean / 43 posts
We Did this st my shower, the invitation said "gifts unwrapped". I was worried it was presumptuous that people would bring gifts (even though that's what you do!). Some people didn't gt it and the main problem was that gifts came without tags and we had no idea who they were from. Martha Stewart calls it a "display shower" and recommends something like: In order to save time and paper, please leave your gift unwrapped. Just place a bow and a card on it.
Gl!
pomegranate / 3759 posts
This is kind of why we are planning a man/woman 'shower' for #2. We are focusing on just a celebration of new baby with all close family and friends rather than showering with gifts. I am sure there will still be gifts but less obligation for that to be the focus.
pear / 1812 posts
@looch: it's going to be about 25 ppl.
@nadsia: how did it go over - other than the no tags thing?
nectarine / 2047 posts
Here is some ''Display Shower" wording...
You could include a little poem, such as
It's time for (mother's name) Baby Shower
And for us girls to have some fun,
So we're trying something different
And we hope that you can come...
Please wrap your gift in celophane
or leave it unwrapped, you see,
We'll have more time to socialize
And visit with the mom-to-be...
or more simply - ”At the request of the mother to be, this will be a casual “display” shower. Please bring your gifts unwrapped, so that (NAME) has more time to enjoy your company.”
or put a 'green' spin on it - 'as to be kind to the environment the mom-to-be requests any gifts brought to the luncheon be unwrapped but creatively labeled. Gifts will then be displayed for everyone to admire.'
nectarine / 2217 posts
as an attendee, i love watching the mom open gifts! at my own shower... omg i totally wished i didn't have to do it during the party :).
i've been to showers where they open gifts and ones where they didn't. nothing was indicated on the invite and it wasn't awkward :).
i voted no big deal, don't mention it
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 1 | 0 |
| Posts | 0 | 1 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
42 comments