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I didn't get a full nights sleep almost the whole first year of DDs life, so I feel you. Right now we are even having sleep problems at 18 months, but it is way better than that first year. The problem is every baby does eventually get it and will sleep through the night, it is just impossible to know at what point. I really hope it comes sooner than later for you. Honestly, telling myself it does get better got me through a lot of the rougher months.

@abbydabbydoodlebug: DDs sleep was bad the first year, but some weeks were better than others. I lived for the ones where she just slept a little better. I was always scared to lay my head down because I knew as soon as I would go to sleep she would wake up and I would rather be fully awake than in that groggy unhappy state when dealing with it all. I was on my own for a good chunk of time while DH was out of town, one of which fell during the worst of the 4 month. The best thing I did was make my husband take her when she woke up for the day (after I nursed her in bed) and I would sleep in late.

@abbydabbydoodlebug: I have sworn to myself that I will never, ever, ever, tell a new parent "Enjoy every minute!" Frankly some of the minutes suck and no one in their right mind would enjoy them. I say enjoy the happy wonderful moments because they will eventually make up for the sucky ones.

Would it help to know that C actually DID get better right around 4 months? She definitely got worse- she suddenly became colicky at 2.5 months but outgrew it a month or so later. Still took another 5 months to STTN but at least she wasn't screaming all the time.

Months 4 and 5 were the WORST in our house. Sorry you're in the midst of it

I want someone to tell me that their baby AND toddler never slept. I was up 6 times last night and lo is 1 on Tuesday! !!!!!!!!

It's lack of sleep - it makes you feel crazy. My son is rounding the corner towards 2 years old and he still co-beds/wakes 2x a night. I remember being at 4 months with a crap sleeper and it sucked!

But you know what? It DID get better. His sleep is better, my sleep is better. I think people say "It gets better" or "I miss the snuggles" or "Enjoy every moment" to help parents gain some perspective. Being sleep deprived and overwhelmed blows, and it seems like it'll never end. But it WILL end (it has to end!). For me, hearing those phrases helps.

As an aside, I LOVE the "Enjoy every moment, even the super crappy ones" phrase and I do say it everyone - not just new mothers. I even have a bumper sticker that says BLE for "Best Life Ever". A friend of mine would always say "This is the best day ever" and he died in a really tragic accident. Enjoy every moment or best day ever just means "Don't waste your precious moments in this life on the junk. Enjoy yourself."

I HATE the phrase, "It gets better" because yea some things do get better, but other things get worse. Parenting isn't linear!

Ugh, that I hate that! Whatever their intentions may be, the reality is that is just comes across as a guilt trip like you're some terrible mother for going through emotions that are 100% normal and not enjoying every moment of every day. And it's crazy, because I know SO MANY PEOPLE who hated hearing this when they had a newborn, and then by the time their baby is 1 they've completely forgotten what it was like and start spouting this stuff.

Yes, my 1 year old doesn't snuggle as much as he used to. But frankly, I would not trade in sleeping through the night for snuggles that come with pure exhaustion - being exhausted for such a long period of time is hell. Do you have anyone who could take over for you so you can get just one night of solid sleep? Whether it's your parents or DH crashing on the couch and taking all the wake-ups that night, one night of sleep can make a huge difference.

@JoyfulKiwi: I realize you're trying to help, but when someone is venting about the phrase 'it gets better' and you chime in to tell them that it does get better and they should be appreciating even the crappy moments...that's not helpful, it's exactly what they're complaining about! And frankly, telling people how they will miss things and should be thankful to be alive and such can be VERY detrimental, particularly towards someone going through PPD, and you never know if that applies to the person you're talking to. It can discourage them from seeking help, make them feel ashamed, etc. I realize that's quite clearly not what you're trying to do here, but thought you could use hearing the perspective of someone who has been through pre-natal and postpartum depression.

Been there My LO was maybe the crappiest sleeper of all time til he was 8.5 months old. As for that people who told me I'd miss the sleepless nights? Umm, they are lying liars who lie. I do not miss that nonsense.
(Hugs)

I never say it gets better, I say it gets different.

Sort of agree. Although I know that people are just trying to help. And I try to keep it in mind because I know it WILL get better and we won't have a screaming newborn forever. And I have to believe it will get better or I'd be having a rougher time than I will. But at the same time... when you're in the thick of it... it sucks. And people saying it will get better does not actually make it better. So... meh. (And I've not actually had anyone tell me to enjoy every minute but if they did I think I'd punch them. I love my daughter so much but at not-quite-3-weeks with her screaming for 4-5+ hrs/day and people telling me that in a few MONTHS it will be better.... telling me to enjoy these moments would make me rage on them. I do enjoy some moments. The ones where she is quiet and/or sleeping. But I most certainly don't enjoy all of them...)

@wonderstruck: I did appreciate hearing from a different perspective and, you're right, depression hadn't occurred to me when I made my comment. Thank you.

It's so hard in the thick of it. I would just remind myself that people mean well (strangers got a pass, but I would absolutely lose it with DH and family if needed) Hugs mama. You're doing a great job and it's okay that you're having a tough time!

I get annoyed for three (almost contradictory) reasons:
A) Do I really look that miserable? Am I making it look hard? Because it is, but damnit, it's also pretty freaking awesome, and I want to make this look easy!
B) If you aren't a twin mom, stfu.
C) what is your definition of easier ?

If it helps- it's 2:30 AM and I'm on nursing/rocking session #2 so far with my 16 week old. You're not alone! Sooooo tired.

@abbydabbydoodlebug: Agree so wholeheartedly. You can't see me but I am nodding vigorously to my computer screen.

I would love to snuggle LO in the middle of the night. I could just do without also snuggling LO 1/4 of the way into the night and 3/4 of the way into the night, and occasionally also 1/3 and 2/3 of the way into the night. Makes our time together a little less special, you know?

@abbydabbydoodlebug: I get it! It's nice to have someone to commiserate with! And oh yes, I often throw in the towel and bring DS in our bed!! And while nights are slightly improving, naps are the devil and out to destroy all happiness, according to my son! Haha.

We have instituted that DH takes the first wake up(s) with milk I pump right before bed (fresh can sit out 4-6 hours, so we don't have to heat it in the MOTN), then I take the rest. It has helped TREMENDOUSLY. I would highly suggest continuing that for your sanity!

What bugs me more is when people complain about being tired in front of me. The other day my sister said: "oh, I'm so tired, my kid was up twice to feed last night." I wanted to punch her - I'd kill for only getting up twice!

I know that ppl are legitimately tired and I don't own tiredness, but I'm going on months of little sleep.