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June 2015 Postpartum Chat

  1. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @hocuspocus: I don't think it's torture to let them cry, but I don't let H cry if I can help it. I feel like she is too young to really know how to soothe herself. I will say though that there have been a few times she has had to cry for 4-5 min out of necessity (e.g., she started crying while I was in the middle of bathing her sister, so she had to wait a few minutes) and of those times, she has stopped crying maybe 25% of the time on her own. So I guess maybe she can soothe herself a little bit. I generally don't think you can form any seriously bad habits before age 3 months or so, but it's good to be aware of what habits you are going to want to work on breaking and maybe start working on them when you can.

    A couple ideas for transitioning from RNP to crib or other flat surface... or for moving a sleeping baby from your arms to a flat sleep space...
    -white noise
    -gently giggling crib
    -heat mattress first with a heating pad or hot water bottle so that the transition from your warm arms is less abrupt (I've only tried this once, but it did work)
    -rolling up a swaddle blanket into a circle shaped "nest" or "cocoon" and placing baby into it - most babies like to feel something against their head and feet. However, you need to keep an eye on baby, since it's not safe unsupervised. Then remove the blanket once baby is asleep.
    -set baby down in the crib with a Boppy pregnancy wedge under her torso and head. Once she's been in the crib for a minute or two and hasn't woken up, slide the wedge out.
    -setting baby down in bed swaddled and keeping hands on her for a min or two, giggling her ever so slightly until she is fully back to sleep.

    Most of the time, my LO goes to sleep without those tricks, but there are times where she just wants to be held, and when she's like that, I use those tricks to get her into the cosleeper (which is flat like a crib). I think even though they aren't learning to fall asleep laying flat on their back, it is still helpful for transitioning them because there are times they wake up on their back and then go back to sleep. They are just getting help that first time. Does that make sense?

    With J, I started rocking or nursing her until she was drowsy, but still awake, and then I would put her in the crib like that and try to get her to fall asleep on her own. I do that now with H during the day, but not at night... since I don't want to risk her not going to sleep!

  2. hocuspocus

    apricot / 373 posts

    @78h2o these are all good ideas! I've tried swaddling and it's worked a couple times to get her to calm down and fall asleep but most of the time I feel like it just make her mad she starts screaming and she ends up breaking out of it, I think it may be too hot here?? But I'm going to try your other suggestions and I've been wanting to invest in a White noise machine, heard those are lifesavers! Thanks!

  3. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @hocuspocus: this is the sound machine we have and I really like it. Only $20 and it can play all night if you don't want to use the timer function. http://www.amazon.com/HoMedics-SS-2000G-Relaxation-Machine-Nature/dp/B00A2JBMRE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435784912&sr=8-1&keywords=homedics+sound+spa. You can also get apps for your phone or if you have a wifi connection, just pull up a youtube video of rain (I search "10 hrs rain). I use that when we're traveling and I don't have the sound machine. We also have two sleep sheeps... they are too big to carry around, so I just take out the sound boxes and use those when I'm on the go, like in the grocery store.

    Another favorite purchase from LO#1 was this plug-in lamp dimmer. http://www.amazon.com/Lutron-TT-300H-WH-Electronics-Plug--Dimmer/dp/B0000BYEF6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1435784713&sr=8-2&keywords=dimmable+light+cord You plug a regular lamp into it and then use the little control to operate the dimmer. You just need an incandescent bulb in the lamp... I don't think it works with a florescent bulb. I've found it really helps avoid the baby waking up too much during middle of the night feeds.

    I know another poster already recommended the Happiest Baby DVD, but I wanted to recommend it as well. Maybe just watch a YouTube clip about it if you haven't already... a point they make is that sometimes something like swaddling with do jack on it's own, but combined with white noise and swaying, can work like magic. Some babies need all 5 S's at once to calm.

    Sorry for all the unsolicited advice! Every baby is different, but thought I'd share my experience in case any of it is helpful to anyone.

  4. hocuspocus

    apricot / 373 posts

    @78h2o not unsolicited at all! I'm open to anything to help her sleep better even though she only gets up once a night it takes 2-3 hours to get her to fall back asleep. White noise is definitely worth a shot. The nurse in the hospital went over the 5 S's with us but haven't tried them all together.

  5. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @hocuspocus: that is so painful when they won't go back to sleep. H has done that twice and I was so exhausted!

    Is she still pooping in the night? Diaper changes really wake H up, so I only change her during the night if she's pooped or if she's super wet. I also try to keep it as dark as possible and avoid tv while nursing at night.

  6. LindsayInNY

    bananas / 9229 posts

    @Mrs.KMM: OMG that picture is so stinking cute!!!

  7. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    Not the very best clip, but some good info.

  8. Mrs.KMM

    grapefruit / 4355 posts

    @LindsayInNY: Thanks! I was just snapping a ton of photos and then went through them on the computer later and was so excited when I saw that one!

  9. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @Mrs.KMM: that photo is super cute!

  10. badwolf

    grape / 77 posts

    C only sleeps 2-3 hours at a time day or night. Feeding still takes 45 minutes most times (with diaper change and burping) and I often have to wake her up because she still falls asleep while eating. I feel like a zombie most of the time.

    In crappier news it looks like she will be making her first road trip sooner than I had planned because my grandpa is in his last hours and a funeral is imminent. My family lives 5 hr away and I am not looking forward to the drive or to saying goodbye to another family member.

  11. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @badwolf: so sorry to hear about your grandpa. I lost mine in December and it was really hard. I'll be thinking about you and your family.

  12. Eko

    nectarine / 2148 posts

    @badwolf: I'm sorry to hear abou your grandpa. Thinking of you and hope LO does well on the car ride for you.

  13. badwolf

    grape / 77 posts

    @Eko:@78h2o: Thank you for the kind thoughts. He made it through the night against expectations, but it's only a matter of hours at this point. He's in a lot of pain so as much as I don't want to say goodbye, I don't want him to suffer either. Hopefully C doesn't mind the change in routine too much.

  14. MrsBrewer

    coconut / 8854 posts

    @78h2o: that video was amazing! I didn't realize that when you shush the baby you do it that loud!

  15. hocuspocus

    apricot / 373 posts

    @78h2o that video was helpful. I totally forgot about one of the S's side/stomach, and I didn't realize you're supposed to sush them that loud either. He made it look so easy!

  16. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @hocuspocus: @MrsBrewer: the full video is a lot better, but glad the clip was helpful! You might check your library for the video (mine had it) or download it from iTunes or Amazon.

    When H cries in the car, I turn the radio to static (between stations) and turn it up until I can't hear her anymore. After a min or two, I turn it back down, and 9x/10 she's no longer crying. It works like magic!

  17. Corduroy

    pomelo / 5258 posts

    @78h2o: We used static on the radio a lot with DD.

    Another tip I got with #1 was to download a white noise app so you'll always have it on the go.

  18. LindsayInNY

    bananas / 9229 posts

    @78h2o: That's really interesting! I didn't know about the side position! I'm a little iffy on how loud the shushing was but can't hurt I guess...

  19. badwolf

    grape / 77 posts

    @LindsayInNY: My husband instinctively shushes C really loudly, much louder than I would, and it works like magic. It almost sounds mean at first but it really seems to calm her down and she doesn't look scared, just curious.

  20. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @LindsayInNY: I have to shush as loudly as they are crying for it to work.

  21. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    This is hilarious!

  22. fuzzypeaches

    clementine / 950 posts

    Hi ladies! I hope you don't mind if I join in! I was a July mama but baby came early at 35w on June 6!
    I had a question (I cannot for the life of me remember what I did with LO1) - are you all still changing diapers with every feed?? When can I stop doing that?

  23. Eko

    nectarine / 2148 posts

    @78h2o: omg that is amazing!!!!

    @fuzzypeaches: welcome! How has LO been doing? I still do diaper changes at every feed but LO usually fills his diaper really well each time. Sometimes I try to get away with not changing during middle of the night feedings if he's been fussy and I don't want to wake him. But, I also don't like the idea of LO sitting in his own pee either even if it's a little bit, so I don't really know if I will ever drop off changes.

  24. Ash

    honeydew / 7909 posts

    @78h2o: love it! Hahaha!

  25. badwolf

    grape / 77 posts

    @fuzzypeaches: I change pretty much every time. C still poops constantly and got a mild diaper rash even with changing every single feed so I don't want to risk it getting worse by waiting. I will very occasionally let her be if it's the middle of the night and she's passed out, because diaper changes always wake her up.

  26. 78h2o

    grapefruit / 4441 posts

    @fuzzypeaches: I change poopy diapers but not wet ones during the night unless they are really full.

    With my first child, I changed her anytime she had a dirty diaper (wet or soiled), but as she got older and started sleeping through the night (despite peeing several times in her sleep), I learned that a wet diaper during the night wouldn't hurt her.

    Nights are a lot easier with baby #2, because without diaper changes (she usually doesn't poop at night), she goes back to sleep more readily.

    If baby has a rash, you might have to change wet diaper during the night until the rash heals. Also, I imagine babies with super sensitive skin moght need to be changed more during the night.

  27. MamaB

    cherry / 234 posts

    LO is having a growth spurt or something. She's been eating more frequently and doesn't want to sleep at night. My MIL has been here this week, and she's been a HUGE help. I just saw this on FB and it made me laugh: http://www.scarymommy.com/articles/newborns-are-evil?section=scary-mommy-blog&u=unknown

  28. badwolf

    grape / 77 posts

    @MamaB: C has gone through a few periods of cluster feeding, the latest one being today when she ate every hour from 3pm to 9pm so far. It's rough.

  29. rosegold

    apricot / 428 posts

    anyone's LO absolutely hate the carseat?

    have been reading through posts, wishing you all the best.

    my little guy cluster fed like crazy the first couple weeks and wasn't a fan of his bassinet or the carseat. finally he is going longer stretches but he hates to be in the car!

  30. LindsayInNY

    bananas / 9229 posts

    Looks like we've gotten the hang of breastfeeding (knock on wood so I don't jinx it) with the assistance of a breast shield for now. She'll feed for hours at times and then sleep for hours so I'm trying to get better about frequent feedings (every 2-3 hours) to see if that helps things. Every feed is nearly an hour right now. Is that normal? Does it change?

    Bedtime is another story. DH goes back to work next right and right now LO ends up in bed anywhere from 10:30-12. I've been trying for earlier but it just doesn't happen. It's almost like if she's even near me she just wants to eat and won't settle down to sleep.

  31. fuzzypeaches

    clementine / 950 posts

    @Eko: @badwolf: @78h2o: thanks ladies! I'm up changing it again as we speak :s bah

    @rosegold: my lo hates it too. So bizzare because my DS LOVED it to the point that (I know bad parents) let him sleep in it on bad nights! This one hates it the minute her skin touches the fabric!

  32. fuzzypeaches

    clementine / 950 posts

    @LindsayInNY: breadtfeeding will get easier and easier, I promise!
    Do you think she sleeps longer after the cluster feeding?? My DS never did this but this LO does and then sometimesssss doesn't wake for 4+hr which is glorious

  33. LindsayInNY

    bananas / 9229 posts

    @fuzzypeaches: It's hard to tell. She doesn't cluster feed in the middle of the night. So last night she slept for about 5 hours from 10:45 to 4am. Fed/was awake for about 45 minutes and then slept again from 4:50 to 7:10am. She did nurse a ton before initially going to bed but I hate how late it is too.

  34. rpparker

    apricot / 363 posts

    @LindsayInNY: We are using a breast shield too and it has been a lifesaver! I almost wish my sessions would go longer. I'm averaging 25-35 minutes every 2 1/2-3 hours. Sometimes she'll just take my right breast for about 10 minutes and just be done but I think I have a little oversupply in that breast. Since she's over her birth weight I can let her go longer so last night I just let her sleep and we went from 11-3 and then again 3:30 - 6:30!

    My biggest issues has been the ILs visiting. I invited them thinking they would help but instead they have just been baby hogs! My mom helps by doing everything else around the house so I can focus on LO. They do the exact opposite. And the opinions about absolutely everything has made me just about lose it! They were supposed to stay until tomorrow but they announced last night they are leaving today and I couldn't be happier!

  35. rpparker

    apricot / 363 posts

    Also if anyone is looking for some entertainment during nursing sessions check out the Longest Shortest Time podcasts. They cover all sorts of parenting topics - I am especially enjoying the ones about recovery after childbirth. Each episode is about 20-30 minutes so the perfect length while nursing.

  36. badwolf

    grape / 77 posts

    @rpparker: Breast shields are a lifesaver for us too, especially since a lactation consultant noticed the one they gave me at hte hospital was too big, and gave me the correct size. C wouldn't latch at all without one, and I have inverted/flat nipples that don't cooperate without help. Using my "boob hats" (thank you Parks and Rec) made a huge difference!

    Has anyone had to deal with a clogged duct? I think I have one on the right side because I am SO engorged and there's a painful lump. Now I'm torn between wanting her to nurse more frequently to get rid of it and wanting her to sleep longer so I can sleep.

  37. rpparker

    apricot / 363 posts

    @badwolf: boob hats love it!

  38. Eko

    nectarine / 2148 posts

    @rpparker: glad to hear that your ILs are leaving a day early! Thanks too for the podcast, will be checking that out.

    @badwolf: I had a clogged duct for about a day. I pumped more and used a heating pad and it took about a day for it to ease up.

  39. hocuspocus

    apricot / 373 posts

    @badwolf I had a clogged duct in the beginning my Dr. Told me to use ice packs for 20 minutes and then pump. The ice felt really good on it and it worked, went away in a day or so.

  40. badwolf

    grape / 77 posts

    @Eko: Glad yours resolved quickly! Mine does feel better after the most recent feeding so I think it's working its way out.

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