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@oliviaoblivia: I thought the same thing.
You are above all her shenanigans (if you can even place identity stealing in that category). I would invite her and call it a day. Don't invite her sisters or anyone else - just her. Don't let her actions make her able to potentially spin the story in your home town to make you look bad (and, as you can see in this thread, it would be easy to omit pertinent details and make you look rude)!
ETA: Same thought as @looch: too - I just seem to be a slow typer!
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I would definitely invite her. It's her grandchild!-
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I read your update and I would not invite her.
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@looch: agree.
Kill her with kindness. Send the invite, but don't follow up on the RSVP. If she doesn't show that's on her not attending rather on you and your mom for not including her at all.
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Nope. It sounds like you and your husband are not interested in reconciling the relationship with her, so I'd say there's no need to invite her if it's going to make you uncomfortable.
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I would invite her , since she probably won't show up anyway. Always better to err on the side of kindness. I would not invite her sisters though
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After reading your response, no it's not awkward. I think it's wrong for your ILs to even assume they're invited when they clearly aren't interested in having a relationship with you
Enjoy your drama free sprinkle and congratulations!
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Based on the update, I wouldn't invite her. I do courtesy invites with my MIL, but she's states away and equally uninterested and toxic.
When LO got baptized last November, I think that she was surprised that we didn't courtesy invite them on it. They aren't terribly religious, really wouldn't have cared, and wouldn't have attended anyway since it was more for my family then theirs. So, whatever. They'll get courtesy invites and that's about it. We don't get along at all.
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Nope, simply for the fact that I would not want someone with a history of identity theft around my friends and family's belongings. And no for all the other reasons too- but if my possessions are not safe around someone then I won't be around them.
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I would absolutely NOT invite her. And, I hope you don't feel any guilt about it. You seem so lovely, and she seems like a toxic person. Enjoy your sprinkle!! It sounds like it will be so special.
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Under normal circumstances I'd say it would be rude not to invite her. In your case I probably wouldn't.
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I was going to say yes but after your update I say definitely no. Your shower should be a happy occasion. You shouldn't have to invite someone like that.
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Omg that is so crazy!
Honestly, I'd probably still invite her/them - mostly because I try and keep my enemies close haha. But my guess is that she wouldn't come anyway?My feeling is that then at least I would feel like I "tried".
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I realk y think only you and DH can judge and I'm not really sure what any of us can add. Is it rude not to invite her? Yes. Is she a rude person? Yes. Does that make the situation ok? You have to decide what's best.
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Reading the update, I am pretty shocked you would even consider inviting her!
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No way! While I kind of get the kill her with kindness, don't give her anything bad to say angle...it sounds like she will find something bad to say no matter what. So if your options are her talking behind your back (which she likely does anyways) or giving her the chance to ruin your shower, let her talk all she wants. She's the one who purposely caused serious financial harm to your family and had been nothing but nasty!
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@sapphire: I agree totally!!! This!!
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@sapphire: agree.
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Given the history to avoid drama I wouldn't invite her. It doesn't sound like she is that interested in your family anyways and it's not like not inviting her will destroy your relationship. As long and you and your DH feel that's the best option.
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If you do invite her what are the chances she actually shows up?
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After reading more info on your relationship with her I would NOT invite her.
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Okay I change my response too after your update! Screw her!
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I wouldn't invite her, and instead I woukd send a glitter gram to her house.
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@2littlepumpkins: She would definitely show up. And she would probably make several comments about her extended family not being invited.
@anonysquire: Lol! I would love to.
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UPDATE: Lord only knows why, but I decided to ask my mom to invite her. I felt too guilty not doing so, and even though DH was totally fine with the decision to exclude her, I felt bad for HIM too. While her presence makes me totally uncomfortable, I'm going to try my hardest to ignore her and enjoy the celebration.
Now we're just waiting for her response to the invite. My mom is expecting her to either be pissed about not being co-host or pissed about not having the rest of her posse invited. She made a big deal at DSs shower about paying for half. She literally made an announcement (out loud at the shower) about it as she handed my mom (in front of everyone) her half of the money.
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@ValentineMommy: Yikes. I am sure that said a lot more about HER to your guests than it did about you. You are a kinder person than me...but I think inviting her was definitely taking the high road. Now I will cross my fingers for you that she declines (and keeps her mouth shut about it)
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@Mrs. Lion: Lol, I'm trying...I'm really, really trying. And definitely keep those fingers crossed.....her not coming is really the best possible outcome
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66 comments