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I personally feel that people need to lighten up and not think that every comment is an indirect hit on their parenting choices. I think our generation has just become overly sensitive.

I do feel as if we need to be sensitive and mindful of what we say since parenting is a sensitive topic, which is probably why i've made an effort to no longer post certain comments.

I agree to an extent. Even if you look at the current BF/section threads there are lots of people who voted yes on the poll, but not many people supporting that vote in the comments. I'm sure they would be instantly attacked for not being supportive. Generally if I disagree with the feelings in a thread, I just don't comment. People don't seem to want everyone's opinions, just the opinions that agree with their stance.

@kiddosc: +1

@kiddosc: well SOME people only want opinions that support their own.

I actually don't mind a good debate, as long as everyone is respectful.

I think it's a two way street. Sometimes I think people are being over sensitive and sometimes I think people are being really inflammatory for no reason. Overall, I'd say on HB people tend to be over sensitive more than inflammatory. Most of the time I think the discussions that go on here are actually really civil.

@Freckles: "I personally feel that people need to lighten up and not think that every comment is an indirect hit on their parenting choices."

I agree.

@MsLipGloss: Totally valid point.

I feel like mommy wars are a very real thing, and I hate when I see it crop up on this site. Parenting choices are SUCH a personal thing, and I don't see any point in putting things out there that are going to make other moms feel bad about their choices. But I'm not on board with the whole 'Oh, I can not like someone's choices and still like them!' thing. I mean, we're not talking about whether you have the same taste in movies or music. We're talking about parenting choices, something that is deeply important to people - a mom is SUCH a huge part of who I am that if you judge my decisions as a mom and tell me that the way I do things makes you sad or disappoints you, hell yes I'm going to take it as a personal attack. It's fine to say why you chose the way you did, but there's a way to do that without bashing the other side or telling them you're sad for or disappointed in them.

I think we may have different definitions of what a constructive dialogue is. I prefer a dialogue where we support each other as parents, not one where we nit pick other's decisions and tell them exactly why we think they're wrong. I mean, if someone posts on here asking for advice, that's one thing. But the recent threads about breastfeeding and c-sections are total mommy wars bait - they just are. And ironically, I don't believe that you have any interest in opening your mind up to the other side when it comes to your opinions based on what I've seen in some threads. So I find that part of your argument to be fairly invalid.

What do we have to gain by purposely making others feel bad? Unless it's a situation where you legitimately feel the need to advocate for the child's well-being (and it's pretty darn dramatic to say breastfeeding or a vaginal birth falls into that category), there isn't one.

I'm having a hard time following this post.

Are you saying people should be *less* sensitive to others' comments?

Agree.
We all just end up feeling rotten when we get into it on here.

But we're also discussing the most important thing in the world to us - our children, our families - so the stakes are high and emotions are inevitably involved, especially when the discussion comes down to "which option is right/wrong?" There's been a lot of that the last few days.

I think we can agree that we all want to be the best mothers we can, with our varied values and resources, and are trying. And failing. And trying again.

@pinkcupcake: I interpreted it as being able to say things without worrying that it's un-pc or will offend someone. Like if i complain about daycare giving marshmallows, will i be offending the mom who gives her kids marshmallows? of course, my example is about something quite insignificant.

@Freckles: Haha! I gave L a marshmallow a couple days ago - TOTALLY offended!
I agree with you though, it almost feels as if anything I might say has potential to offend *someone*.

I don't always understand why people get so upset. If someone was to say something that I disagreed with, I would state my own opinion and move on, making note that my view isn't 100% shared with the world. I feel no need to go into an in-length discussion with someone about it. I am pretty much 100% non-confrontational though, so that's me. I do really enjoy reading healthy debates between 2 views though, as long as it's not getting mean and hurtful. There are a couple posters that take up to another level I think, but most posters are very respectful and just trying to understand other views.

@MrsMccarthy: You did say that you thought what they were saying was unwise. More than once, actually. I don't think going from unwise to ignorant is that big of a leap, nor do I think it's a surprise people responded snarkily. In general, I think you can expect people to get offended when you tell them that something they're doing is unwise. I also realize that after that, you seemed to start to realize how you were coming across and were a bit more open to having a dialogue. But it didn't start off that way.

@mrbee: put them in a time out?

::angel face::

Well, personally, I love it when people suggest I "lighten up" about something

@MsLipGloss: +1

@mrbee: Penalty cards or Demerits.

On some threads I feel like people are overly sensitive. On some threads I feel like people are being a judgmental. On other threads I feel like people are carefully crafting their responses so as not to appear judgmental or offend when it's just a different opinion. We're allowed to have different opinions!

Sometimes I don't post on threads when my view is in the minority, like the BFing one, because I don't want people to jump down my throat in the sweetest way ever.

@Freckles: your interpretation made sense!

Agree with those who say it's all about communication. If my memory serves, some of the posters who regularly comment about not being understood by others on this board just aren't the best at choosing their words in such a way as to ensure that they aren't perceived as judgmental and/or inflammatory.

@blackbird: *snort* Is that like how much I LOVE it when my husband tells me to, "Take it easy,"?!?!