I've had this blog post out for review for nearly a month. It doesn't seem like posts are being released any longer by the Bees and so I'm posting here instead!
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I am a couple of months behind in posting an update of Lilly and Audrey at four years old. Both girls celebrated their birthdays in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, Lilly in early May and Audrey in early June. Their birthday season was so different and strange this year, and most days I just haven’t been up for any writing. Still, before the days turn into more months, and the months turn into another year, I figured I should try to document this most amazing age before it is gone. I’ve said before, and I’ll say it again, age four is easily my favorite age so far.
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Reading and Writing
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At four years, both girls are increasingly interested in learning to read. They know a few sight words and we practice some basic phonics. While I am extremely excited about the idea of them learning to read, I’ve read on Hellobee boards and other parenting websites that there is little benefit to pushing them to read and so I’m trying to be patient and let them guide at this age while focusing most of my attention on the simple act of reading and enjoying books with them.

Compared to my last update, these days they really enjoy rhyming games and they often will stop me when I’m reading to them so that they can spell out a word and then sound it out. They also now insist that I run my finger under all words when I’m reading them a book. This has completely put an end to me and Mr. Starfish’s periodic glossing over of some paragraphs in some of their longer or more inane story books. Sigh, you have to take the bad with the good, right?!

Speaking of books, their tastes here have matured over the past six months. They are less and less interested in simple books and stories, and we have moved on to chapter books. Their favorite series at the moment is Mercy Watson, and I’m a big fan of these books at this age - they are chapter books but still have captivating illustrations on nearly every other page. We’ve dabbled a bit with some other chapter book series, including Magic Tree House and Junie B. Jones and Sugar Plum Ballerinas. While I’ve been shocked at how the girls are able to maintain their focus as we read those series, I’ve observed somewhat more distracted body language when we are reading those and so I’m thinking they may be more of a hit in a few more months.

Also showing their maturing language skills, the girls are really into jokes right now. This is absolutely delighting their father, who has been the king of dad-jokes since we first started dating in college. Audrey’s current favorite: Q: What happens if you give Elsa a balloon? A: She’ll let it go. (The girls are obviously really into Frozen as well!)

Rounding out this section is writing. The girls have spent a lot of quarantine time with their crayons and colored pencils and markers and it shows in their fine motor development. They are definitely way more advanced with coloring and writing than a few months ago. They can write a few words, love drawing pictures of our family, and really enjoy color-by-number coloring books and perler fuse bead crafts.
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Emotional and Social
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Liar, liar, pants on fire... the girls’ noses have grown by at least a foot since my last update. They have been very busy testing limits with regard to lying and fibbing. We have observed plenty of small lies over the past few months - about going potty, about washing hands, if they really need a bandaid or ice-pack (are my kids the only ones who are strangely obsessed with bandaids and ice-packs?!).

But the biggest lie was when we noticed a huge chunk of hair was missing from one of the girls’ heads. She had gotten a hold of scissors and gave herself a little chop. We’ve also observed lots of strange squirreling away of objects recently - like sunscreen they’ve hidden under their beds (and then lied about), or piles of shredded tissues stacked up under their nightstand (and then lied about).

After the big hair chop incident, the culprit became so emotionally distraught by being caught that she had a complete melt-down. This wasn’t the first time we’ve observed her basically freeze up and exhibit some worrying signs of anxiety like having difficulty breathing. Because of this, we got her in to speak with a psychologist. We have seen the psychologist twice now and we are working on breathing exercises and just generally allowing my little one to talk through some of the things that are worrying her. I’ve also added a couple of books about emotions to our family library, The Don’t Worry Book by Todd Parr and Visiting Feelings by Lauren Rubenstein.

Apart from these issues, I will say that this age is just so much easier in terms of tantrums and emotional regulation compared to ages two and three. With my oldest daughter, it truly was like a switch flipped the very week of her fourth birthday - the sudden emotional maturity was stunning. Now all this said, we definitely still face emotional outbursts from the girls. But for me the difference is that I can better relate to and understand them. It was such a challenge for me to muddle through tantrums when they revolved around things like their socks being too “slippery” or wanting a strawberry without seeds. These days, they get upset about things that I understand and that would also upset me. Things like being nervous about meeting new friends at school, or one girl getting a gift in the mail but not the other. Also, they are no longer screaming when they are upset and as a naturally more quiet person, this makes a huge difference to me.
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Physical
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On the physical front, the girls are getting much more daring. I notice them doing a lot of jumping from stairs and hanging on to random things around the house. They are pretty competitive with each other and often I hear shouts of “I win!” after hearing a series of loud thuds from a distant corner of the house. In these summer months, they set up a sprinkler mat under their treehouse slide and they created a water slide that honestly scares the pants off me. But they have no fear, and so far we’ve seen no broken bones.

A year ago, we got them balance bikes and they love them and have gotten pretty good with them. I also credit quarantine for this development because their nanny has taken them on many a bike ride over the past few months. We’ve asked if they would like to move up to pedal bikes and they are resolutely opposed to the idea.
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Sleep
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After being in cribs since birth, we finally made the move to twin beds right at Audrey’s fourth birthday, and the transition has gone reasonably well. One of the girls fell out of the bed on the second night but it didn’t phase her and it hasn’t happened since. The biggest pain point with the transition was that they definitely found a new level of independence and we went through a week where they would come downstairs to find us as soon as they woke up in the morning. This resulted in an absolutely terrifying moment in the kitchen one day when I had my head in the fridge, heard a soft noise and spun around, and both girls were standing there holding hands quietly staring at me. I suppose I should have expected a “The Shining” moment with twin-ish girls and there it was! After that experience, an OK-to-Wake clock was installed in their room immediately and we have been very strict about its use. Ha!

Other than that, the girls’ sleep schedule hasn’t shifted very much. We've toyed here and there with shifting their bedtime later (routine currently begins at 6:30PM and we leave the room around 7:15PM) or scrapping their nap/quiet time. Honestly, we seem to regret any changes to sleep almost immediately and we have reverted back every time. That said, we definitely are more liberal with letting the girls skip naps these days for big events or special days, and we don't get after them too much when we hear them chatting with each other and giggling after lights are out. Some of my happiest memories of my own childhood are after-bedtime conversations with my younger sister and so I am admittedly a bit of a pushover on this.
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So that’s it for an update! While the past four months have been some of the strangest and most challenging of my lifetime, I consider myself so very lucky that it coincided with the girls hitting this magical age. They are truly amazing and there are few people with whom I would rather spend this quarantine time. Thank you Lilly and Audrey - for the laughs, the snuggles, the kindness, and the graduation to much more interesting storybooks!