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My baby doesn't sleep...

  1. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @annem1990: Thank you I'm so glad you guys have turned a corner. Zantac is helping, but it's still so hard to get him to nap - today there is torrential rain - so no stroller rides (which in the afternoon seems to be the only way he'll nap) - and ugh, I just get sooo tired spending the day trying to get him to sleep, or keeping him from being hysterical off the boob when he just won't sleep. But he is really cute And you give me hope that we're not necessarily destined to a child who will never sleep.

    @themrsgoff: When you eliminated dairy, did you do a really strict elimination, or just avoid eating things that were obviously dairy? I know that there can be milk protein that is used in all sorts of foods, so it seems like a huge investment to totally cut when I have no idea if that's the issue. I try to avoid processed foods and make things from raw ingredients, but definitely not always possible with a baby who doesn't like to nap and doesn't like to be worn. I don't think my son has an allergy, as his stool looks fine, so wondering if just cutting obvious dairy intake would be enough to get a sense if this is part of the issue...

    @crazydoglady: @gingerbebe: you guys were right about the Mam. Just arrived this afternoon and he went from being able to keep a paci in all of 2 seconds to keeping that thing in for a minute or so. And we're going to hopefully train him to be better at it. He seems really content with it - today he just wanted to be on the boob nonstop and it definitely helped...

  2. annem1990

    apricot / 444 posts

    @periwinklebee: There was a several month period where I remember crying to DH that “I spend the whole day trying to either get him to sleep or stay asleep!” I felt like that’s all I did.
    That feeling passed once he hit about 3 months....you got this mama!!

  3. LBee

    pomegranate / 3895 posts

    @periwinklebee: You didn’t ask me, but I had to cut dairy for my LO. Since they changed the regulations where the top allergens (one being milk) has to be disclosed under the ingredients list it hasn’t been as hard as I imagined! If I were to do it in your scenario, I’d go all in for 3 weeks then slowly add back. It takes about 3 weeks to get out of both of your systems.

    BUT, if my kid didn’t have blood in her poop I’d be enjoying a bowl of ice cream right now with my glass of wine. Postpartum is tough and I miss milk - without a glaring smoking gun I don’t know how motivated I’d be to cut it.

  4. themrsgoff

    coffee bean / 43 posts

    @periwinklebee: I just cut obvious dairy - absolutely no milk (I've yet to start drinking it again), cheese, ice cream, yogurt, and butter. I don't think he had an actual protein allergy but he certainly did not tolerate lactose well at all. When he was about 5 months old and had been off dairy for about 2 months, I ordered a salad without realizing there would be a sprinkle of feta on top. Just that little bit was enough to set his stomach off and after an incredibly fussy few hours, ended up having both of us covered in curdled spit up. Like, tons of spit up. (He also didn't do well when I ate/drank citrus, so I stayed away from that also).

    Maybe try cutting just the obvious stuff for a week and see if there's a change?

    In our experience, he started tolerating it in small amounts at 9-10 months and at that point I'd offer him little bits of cheese too. Now at 16 months, he's got no dairy issues whatsoever.

  5. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @annem1990: I say exactly the same thing to my husband. He *loves* the baby but is at work all day - and I do the night wakings since all the baby wants is the boob anyways. He's pretty jealous of my time with the baby and I think sometimes does not get how exhausting it is by the end of the day. I am enjoying it but sometimes I'm just TIRED. You give me hope though that someday he may be a good sleeper - I hear about people whose four year olds just do not sleep and sometimes wonder whether some children are just inclined to not

    @LBee: I always love your advice - your pumping and storage notes have been so useful! Yeah, elimination seems like a lot without obvious signs when it could just as much be something else...

    @themrsgoff: Super useful to know that cutting the obvious stuff worked!

    The baby napped sooo well yesterday - like better than even when he was only a day old. Of course it was on a Saturday when my husband could have helped if he was on a nap strike, but I will gladly take it. I think he's in sleep debt and really needs it before the 6 week growth spurt hits... Right now the best chance of getting him to nap by far is if he's cuddled up with me or in the stroller - think I'm going to focus on getting his reflux and other things that might be bothering him under control and worry about introducing good sleep habits once naps seem to be more consistently solid...

  6. Shantuck

    pear / 1766 posts

    @periwinklebee: Both my kiddos had reflux and we were told it usually takes a week or two for the benefits of the Zantac to kick in. With my bigger kid (who was the more uncomfortable of the two), he seemed like a different kid within two weeks of starting the Zantac. Hope things continue to improve for you!

  7. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @Shantuck: Thank you - that's amazing to hear!

  8. SweetiePie

    honeydew / 7463 posts

    @periwinklebee: that’s a really good plan, to let the reflux stuff sort itself out first. It’s really smart to look at it in steps so it’s not overwhelming. Also, if you change/work on one variable at a time it’s easier to identify what’s working and what’s not.

    And similar to what you and @annem1990: said about DHs - same over here. For the first few weeks my husband was very “I don’t understand why you’re so frazzled” and finally it dawned on me that his life really hadnt changed. I quit my job and decided to SAH so my life became a deluge of diapers and bottles and pumping and as you said spending all day trying to get him to sleep or stay asleep. He went back to work and didn’t skip a beat. He got up same time. Took the subway to work. Got coffee. Lunch. Did his same routine. Came home and saw the baby for maybe an hour? And then he did his normal stuff like tv and computer and chilling. When I finally asked him “how has your life changed” he got it. It clicked. I went from flying all over the world for business trips and logistics for the Oscars to changing my clothes multiple times a day because of pee, poop, excessive spit up, or all of the above. And never any validation of “great job! You’re doing so well!” like I got at work.
    It wasn’t his fault, mind you. He was doing his job and I was doing my new job. But because his job was the same it was hard for him to see what I was experiencing.

  9. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @SweetiePie: Yes, this exactly - I ran into a neighbor the other day and he asked "what's new?" Um, like, everything

  10. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    @SweetiePie: p.s. I bought an audiobook of the weissbluth book you mentioned in another post and it's going to be my listening for the next few stroller ride naps - thank you!

  11. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4462 posts

    I can hardly believe it, but we've continued to see substantial improvements in sleep this week. Today he has gone down for four naps in the swing sleepy but awake, one of which was really long. I know babies are constantly changing, but I am enjoying it for however long it lasts.

    To everyone on this thread - you guys are my lifesavers. Like seriously - I can't tell you how insanely helpful the advice has been...

  12. crazydoglady

    nectarine / 2431 posts

    @periwinklebee: This is so awesome! I hope you are getting some sleep, too!

  13. gingerbebe

    cantaloupe / 6131 posts

    @periwinklebee: Awesome!

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