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I'm sorry! I'd definitely be mad and hurt. How rude!! Tall order but try to absorb everyone else's excitement instead of his misery!

I'm sorry he's being such a turd. I'd be a little hurt initially, but for your own sake, blow him off. Like the previous poster said, absorb everyone else's happiness and excitement. In the end, he'll be the one missing out, not you! He's cheating himself out of the excitement of a grandchild, don't let him cheat you out of the joy and happiness of this special time in your life! And congrats!

Ugh I would be super offended/upset if someone said they didn't think I was healthy enough to be pregnant

How terrible! It must be so stressful and discouraging to hear that someone isn't excited for you. Like the previous posters, I would just soak up all of the positive energy surrounding your announcement. BTW, have you ever talked to your DH about his dad? Would you ever consider talking to your FIL about the way he talks to you?

@arden: That just sucks. It's like when people say "just kidding" or "no offense" as a way to say whatever they want.

He may come around, and if he doesn't, you've got a whole support network with the rest of your family!

Hmm...sounds like FIL is just a d-bag. I'm sorry they're not excited like they should be!

I am so sorry!! Don't let him ruin your happiness!! Why people think they can just say whatever they want too, is beyond me!!!

I would be annoyed too. Try not to let him get you down though, it sounds like everyone else was super excited!

I don't think you're overreacting at all. It would def bother me. While not as extreme or hurtful, my FIL's reaction wasn't all that happy or excited either... it was more "well now you guys have work to do and no more fun time..."

He is starting to get more excited now though...

I'm sorry If it makes you feel any less alone, my in-laws have yet to respond to our postcard announcing our pregnancy. But if I'm being completely honest... there are so many good people in our lives that it doesn't make sense to focus on the bad. I know it's hard - but the sooner you focus on the ones who ARE excited, the better it will be. Easier said than done though, right?

I'm so sorry you got that response from your FIL. You are absolutely not over-reacting. I agree with the PPs that you should focus on the good things and people in your life and ignore his negativity.

We told my MIL really early on in my pregnancy. DH was away with her visiting his sister when I found out. So she knew when I was 4ish weeks pregnant. Despite seeing me about half a dozen times and speaking on the phone occassionally, she didn't acknowledge or congratulate me until I was almost 20 weeks. And even then it was to say "now you'll start asking me all sorts of questions about DH's birth" with a snarl. It has taken every ounce of strength that I have to ignore her, but it really is better for my health and the baby that she doesn't get to me.

I would totally be bummed... but it sounds like your FIL has a track record, so it would've been expected. Still hurts, but it would help me get over it quicker knowing that it was coming.

Push his negative comments aside and be happy!

You have every right to be upset, but honestly I think your DH has the right idea. In my experience with people like this, it's better to have low expectations and be pleasantly surprised when they exceed them than to be constantly disappointed.

@Arden: Sorry you have to deal with this. With regard to how he reacts to your out of hospital natural birth -- I'd say, don't tell him. We're doing an out of hospital natural birth and my perspective is that this is none of anyone else's business, so I don't discuss it with anyone who I don't think will be supportive. That includes my father and his wife. And if it does come up, be clear that it's not a discussion topic, it's your decision - period.

I would feel the same way and be totally hurt! Hugs! Some people are just critical though (in every situation), and I've found ignoring them is the best thing you can do for yourself. Sorry you have to deal with this!