Long story short, DS (almost 10 months) has been sleeping in our room since the day he came home from the hospital at my insistence. First he was in a bassinet, but when he outgrew that, he began sleeping in a combination of our bed and a pack and play. For a number of reasons, this has become unmanageable (his sleep is getting worse over time, not better. He relies on sleep crutches like me replacing his pacifier or handing him a bottle of water overnight to connect sleep cycles, he wails if I wont get him out of his PnP in the middle of the night, he wont go to sleep on his own - I have to rock him in the bed and wait until he is asleep to transfer him, etc.).

DW is absolutely insisting that we move him to his crib in his own room now. We both WOH full time and are exhausted and she believes DS isnt sleeping well either with our current arrangement. I understand all of this on an intellectual level.

HOWEVER, every time I read or think about CIO methods I feel panic and dread. I know this is my issue, and that I will take it MUCH harder than DS will. DW thinks all the emotions are in my head and that after a period of adjustment DS will do just fine in his room.

Can someone help me get over my feelings that we are abandoning him by not co-sleeping anymore? I need to do this for my marriage, because she really is putting her foot down about my allowances for DS in our room. It's probably much harder now than it would have been months ago, on top of it ... I just feel terrible that we cant make co-sleeping work because that matches my parenting philosophy so much more than leaving DS in a room alone.

Please, someone tell me I am blowing this way out of proportion and that your babies did great when they transitioned.

TIA.