Some of us thought it would be great to start a PPD support thread. Whether you currently have, think you have, or have had PPD in the past (or just want to show your support!) feel free to post here. You can share as little or as much as you want - just know that you are not alone!
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I had PPD with my first child a few years ago. As a Type A perfectionist, my world was shattered on day 1 postpartum by this crying infant who was so unpredictable and who removed any sense of confidence I ever had. Breastfeeding, napping, etc - it all became a source of extreme anxiety and guilt, and I was a crying, terrible mess for several months. I didn't enjoy LO and frequently wanted to force her into submission. My family was on pins and needles around me.
Although my OB diagnosed PPD, I had a hard time admitting that I needed help and thought maybe I could just reach deeper into my own strength to pull through this. I'm so glad I finally decided to listen to everyone around me, and things were so much better after starting medication. I started to enjoy my LO and being a mom!
For the second time around, I didn't experience PPD. But I feel for everyone who does.
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@T-Mom: Understand. 100%. Completely.
You're talking to a Type A perfectionist! I just didn't realize how Type A I was until AFTER LO was born.
Everything seemed out of my control. I didn't know what to do. I never knew what to expect anymore. I felt like my LO was running my life and I had basically lost myself.
I'm glad to hear the 2nd time around you didn't experience it. Having been through it, it is one of my biggest fears in thinking about having another.
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I had immediate onset PPD when C was born in April. I had a traumatic labor and delivery experience and spend 6 days in the hospital. I couldn't breastfeed, which crushed my soul. I was re-hospitalized for 4 days when she was 2 weeks old because I turned up with a massive infection in my uterus. She was a screamy, crabby mess for her first 3 months of life and I just felt like I was losing my grip on reality. I felt like a horrible mother.
Eventually, my mind and body healed and things just got better. I probably should have gone and seen someone, but I didn't. I have a history of depression, so I will always be high risk for PPD.
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I, too, suffered from postpartum depression. Strangely enough, I didn't really think much about the possibility before LO's birth, even though I have a history of depression.
I've talked a little more about the actual feelings I experienced, but for the most part it was just a feeling of being absolutely overwhelmed. I regretted having LO, dreaded hearing her cries and would have gladly given her away at any point during the first month. At my absolute lowest, her cries will fill me with rage and I would have to leave the room to avoid doing something terrible. I hate admitting that, even now, even though I know my feelings were out of my control. My family didn't know how to help me and they were shocked that I was feeling so low.
I did eventually see my doctor and was prescribed an anti-depressant. Also, my MIL came into town and saved the day. I know that's not an option for everyone, but letting her take control of the situation for 2 weeks was a game-changer. Because of her help, I was able to feel more like myself again. I could leave the house for an hour at a time, get a nap here and there, and had my laundry and meals taken care of. Man, I love/loved her for that.
So I guess my advice is: talk to people, reach out for help and accept help from others. Don't think you should/have to do it alone!!!
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I was officially diagnosed yesterday. I struggled with what I thought was the "baby blues" the first couple weeks, and was getting better, and then something snapped around when LO was almost five weeks old. She's seven weeks on Friday. I was given a test and scored pretty high. I started meds last night, no change so far except that I was still jittery. LO slept six hours last night and I wasn't even able to enjoy it. DH is home with me today... I get away from her as often as possible, and then there are moments where I really do just want to hold her. I feel bad because I honestly sort of dread time with her...it's not like she did anything to deserve this.
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I have a history with anxiety and experienced PPD immediately after LO's birth.
I had an uphill battle with my birth experience. Two days before my due date I fell on my stomach while walking to the doctor's office. Shortly after I was admitted into the hospital for observation where they determined I was in labor. My water broke by itself at the hospital but I didn't dilate and had to be induced. Shortly after I developed an infection and at the 30 hour mark I was still not all the way dilated so the doctors performed a c-section. LO went to NICU for 48 hour observation since I developed an infection and 12 hours after delivery my infection returned. My colostrum didn't come until day 4 and my milk until day 5--I was a hot mess and incredibly upset that I was not able to provide sustenance for my child.
During my stay at the hospital I never had the desire to visit LO in NICU. I was baffled by why DH always wanted to spend time in NICU--that's what the nurses are for right? This was my first sign that something wasn't quite right.
PPD really hit me on my first day home. I was not happy at all. I felt having the baby was a huge mistake--I was not ready for such a huge lifestyle change. I will never be able to do anything fun again! I will never be able to travel again! What was I thinking?
I was very lucky to have my mom's help for a few weeks but during these few weeks I did not enjoy taking care of LO at all. I resented him for making my life miserable. I resented him for waking up throughout the night. I wished someone could just come and take him away from me--there were times I wanted nothing to do with him. I fantasized about taking off and leaving DH with LO--he'd want full custody anyways since I am an unfit mother... he didn't want to be with a woman that couldn't be a good mother to his child!
I was hoping what I was experiencing was part of the baby blues everyone talks about but it was getting progressively worse and I eventually got help.
Little by little, things started to get better. LO started to smile, I got out of the house for walks more often and went to parenting groups. He started to sleep for longer stretches at night and we established something of a routine.
LO is seven months now and I truly do love him! Those first few weeks were some of the hardest of my life but it does get better!
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@keiki_mama: So glad to hear things are better. =)
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@Mrs Checkers: Thanks! I look forward to reading more about your PPD experience!
@googly-eyes: BIG HUG to you! Glad to hear you've gotten help. It gets better!
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@googly-eyes: the medication kicks in differently for every person. Amazingly, I felt the effects by next day but I remeber Ob telling me it could be a few weeks. I'm sure your Ob will check with you on dosage too. The important thing is that you are taking action and also talking about it.
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@googly-eyes: Yes, I think it varies 1) by medication and 2) by your dosage. I was on 50 mg. of Zoloft (I was told this was the lowest dosage) and it took 4 weeks for the medication to kick in.
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I think I cried very day for the first 6-8 weeks. It kept getting written off as the baby blues but I knew it was something more. It was shockingly difficult for me to get my OB to prescribe something and refer me to someone. I hope nobody else has to go through that.
In the beginning I did nit feel bonded to LO. My DH would say "don't you just want to kiss her?" And I would think "just get her the f**k away from me". I dreaded every day. I would scream at her to shut up because she cried so much. Then I would hate myself for being such a bad mom. At the lowest I literally felt like I was falling apart. One night when she was crying I went into our basement, curled up on the floor and just sobbed.
LO is 5 months now and such a different baby. She's happy and smiley and I love her more than anything. I've been on Zoloft for about 3 months and saw a therapist a few times. I don't really know if its the meds or LO just being older but I feel so much better. I'm partially scared of going off the meds though in case I relapse. And I'll be much better prepared and proactive for LO #2!
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I will post here once I get home
Just wanted to say I love this idea to support everyone
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What a great thread. I don't have kids yet, but my neighbour just told me about her battles with PPD and not having any one to talk to. This is such a great community!
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Alright I'm ready now
Well my experience is different than most of yours - while still being the same.
It was later onset; so I did bond with my son in the early days, I loved the newborn period and I was totally content just holding my baby every day, all day.
PPD didn't strike me until he was about two months old.
To give a little background: DH and I were married in 2010, I was 20 years old. I told DH I wanted to wait 5 years for kids, I wanted to finish my bachelors and take a real honeymoon with him. 2011 I had some job troubles, left my job. I ended up at home alone with nothing to do and could only afford a class at a time. DH pressured me into having a baby; my sister was pregnant so it seemed like a great time... even though I knew deep down that I didn't want a baby at 21.
It took four cycles to get pregnant. It was so weird, because each cycle I didn't get pg, I cried because I was upset. Then I got pg, was excited initially - then realized, that this was FOR REAL now, and even wished I'd MC because it finally hit me that it was happening, no going back.
I went through my whole pregnancy kind of resenting DH and the baby inside me. I didn't want this baby, I was 21 and hadn't lived my life at all! Whereas DH was 27, had a career and was "settling down".
But like I said, I did bond with DS after birth, so initially it wasn't bad. It may have been hormones that really instigated that; I loved him more than I could have imagined.
But once PPD hit, it was almost like that didn't matter anymore. I'm so glad @meredithnyc and @keiki_mama were so honest because now I don't feel so guilty; but like them I wished I hadn't ever had LO. I wished he wasn't born; or that someone would take him; or even that he'd die. I knew I'd miss him and then I would feel immediately guilty and cry and tell myself I was a HORRID mother.
DH works three nights a week, so after DS went to bed, I would just cry and cry and cry. I wanted to leave. I wanted to live my own life and not be a mother. I hated my son for ruining my body and giving me a stomach full of stretch marks. Everyone told me it would be worth it, and it wasn't. Everyone said the sleep deprivation was worth it, and it wasn't. NOTHING was worth it to me. Like I said, I loved him- at least I felt that. But I didn't want him. And I didn't *like* him. I would resent him, then feel immense guilt.
Sometimes I had to just put him in his crib and run away to cry because I couldn't deal with him. 20 minutes later I would be bawling, picking him up and apologizing over and over and he was shaking from sobbing.
I finally got up the guts to tell DH that I wasn't happy, That I hated being a mom. That I hated being a SAHM. He was so upset and never realized that it was so bad. We talked about getting me help, and I even found a Christian therapy business in our town - but I never called them.
I was too ashamed to talk to anyone... ANYONE. When DS was about 6 months old, I finally opened up to my sister and she was really insensitive about it. (http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/feeling-letdown-by-my-sister#post-316182)
So I haven't really talked to anyone else. DS is now 8 months old and things are better, but not perfect. Life feels really unfulfilled - like I have no meaning or purpose. I don't know what I should or want to do.
I do know that I cannot stay home with DS 24/7 - it's driving me crazy. I love him to death and I can definitely say now that he IS worth it, and I wouldn't trade him for ANYTHING and I'm SO glad he is in my life... but I cannot be happy being with him alllll the time. DH helps A LOT and takes him nearly the whole weekend and that has really helped me feel better. I don't feel so trapped.
So sorry this is SO long. Thanks so much for the support. This is really my first time sharing this publicly, and I'm risking a lot since my U/N is easily linked to my IRL person... but I am feeling better and I realize that I should not feel ashamed or blame myself.
Also I did think I had a chance of this happening as I have a history of severe depression. But it hasn't hit this hard since I was in high school. I am so thankful I'm a lot more mature; in high school I resorted to things like cutting. Thank God I'm not that person anymore.
thanks for the support everyone... wish I could talk to someone IRL about it.
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@Coco Bee: you know it is so hard to take that first step and talk about it, but afterwards it is so liberating!. It sounds like a lot of.circumstances and life changes, including addition of LO, that have contributed to how you are feeling now. Have you talked to your OB? Even though LO is a little older, I would check in with her first . Talking to a counselor may also be helpful too. I understand about staying home with the baby and not feeling fulfilled. Maybe you can have a conversation with your DH when things settle down about your goals and make a plan for your future. I definitely am a believer that a fulfilled and happy mommy makes for happy family. In the near term, is there any room in the budget for sending LO to mothers day out once or twice a week just to have a set aside break time? Hang in there girl! sending prayers your way!
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@Coco Bee: I just read your other post about telling your SIL and I'm so sorry she wasn't supportive/couldn't understand where you're coming from. I feel similarly to you in that staying at home is NOT for me. Unfortunately, the cost of living in my city is so high that it doesn't make sense for me to work. Like you, I have experienced people saying things that make me feel guilty for wanting to work. For example, my SIL had her baby about 3 weeks before us. Her husband is very successful and she wanted/was able to quit her job. My MIL and FIL constantly go on about what a good choice it was, as there is "nothing more important than being home with your baby." I understand that they probably weren't trying to hurt me, but they know my feelings about wanting to work. It made me feel like I was failing at having the "correct" feelings about motherhood.
It can be super tough to retain your identity when you have a baby, so I hope that things work out for you in a way that gives you the opportunity to enjoy some things in life that aren't totally baby-centered. The good news is that as a young mom you have a whole lot of life ahead of you and you will get things sorted out career-wise
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@T-Mom: I don't have an OB
It's kind of a long story on why I don't... but I received my prenatal care from a birth center 45 minutes away, so I was seeing a midwife. I have no PCP or OB. I haven't had a doctor since I had a pediatrician.I definitely "feel" happier. I love my little family so much and don't have such severe lows anymore, for that I am so grateful. Now I think that anything negative truly is more circumstantial. I need to take charge of my life right now and figure out what I need to do and do it.
@meredithNYC: It's hard knowing that by working or doing something on my own would help me or make me happier, would also potentially cause my sister or other family members to look down on me because I do have the option of staying home (and struggling financially - to the point we don't even have enough left over for savings), but I don't want to. They make me feel guilty for wanting to live more comfortably. We'll never be able to afford a home, send our kid(s) to montessori preschool, take vacations, afford even a bigger apt, contribute to savings - etc unless DH gets a hell of a raise or I get a job. Like you, I couldn't get anything with my limited qualifications that would make more than the cost of daycare, so right now it's totally null. I need to go back to school and finish first.
I grew up with a SAHM and I think that really influenced how my siblings/mom feel about this issue. My sister thinks that if you have a kid you should stay home. Another family friend said if you don't stay home, you're not raising your kid, someone else is. In my community and what I grew up with, this judgment and expectation to be a SAHM is the norm and I hate it. I have sooo much guilt for desiring something different. I wish I loved it, I REALLY really do!!!
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Hi everyone --
I've spoken about this on here before, and I will continue speaking about it, b/c I feel that it's really important to know that *you are not alone*, and that there is lots of help out there for PPD. I had a quite severe case of postpartum depression after my daughter was born. It started out as normal baby blues, but launched into something much more terrifying when DD was about 6 weeks old. Right when everyone was telling me I should start feeling better, things got much, much worse. I think in my case it had a lot to do with the fact that I was devastated over the fact that breastfeeding didn't work out for me (I had no milk supply), and I had almost no support at home. DH was working 12 + hours a day, we had no family nearby, and almost no friends nearby either. I had never experienced depression or severe anxiety before, but all of a sudden it hit me like a truck.
Some of my scarier symptoms, in addition to general feelings of depression and anxiety were:
-My head felt like it was in a cloud. I could no longer prioritize things that needed to get done, so every small task all of a sudden seemed insurmountable.
- I was having "intrusive thoughts". Basically, every time I picked up the baby and walked around the house I had disturbing images in my head of the baby's head getting smashed into a sharp corner on a wall, or of my dropping her and her head hitting the floor. I was terrified to go near knives or the stove. I was also terrified of driving b/c I had visions of running a red light and getting into a horrific car accident.
- I was so anxious at the thought of leaving the house that I almost had a panic attack just by stepping out the front door.It was terrifying.
I got help.
I had a phone # for a local PPD support program, and I gave them a call. They got me admitted into their outpatient PPD treatment program. I immediately started in their program with 4 days per week of group therapy, plus I was assigned an individual therapist and a psychiatrist. Through a combination of therapy and drugs, I got better fast. Less than 6 weeks later I was discharged from the program. In that time I went from feeling like every minute of every day was the end of the world, to loving my daughter and actually enjoying being a mom (even though it's still hard sometimes). The program I was admitted to is one of the best PPD treatment programs in the country. The group therapy aspect was amazing b/c I was able to meet so many other moms -- wonderful women who were suffering in the same way I was. I consider myself so lucky that I got such amazing help, and I don't know where I would be today without it.
If you are experiencing any of these scary symptoms, then please get some help for yourself. (Oh, and always feel free to PM me if you want to chat offline.) I will continue to check in with this thread! @T-Mom: Thanks for starting it!
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A huge hug to you @Coco Bee! Thank you for opening up and sharing your story. I went back and read your post about opening up to your sister--so sorry she wasn't more understanding. I experienced something similar with my mom. Mental health issues are rarely brought up in my culture and dismissed my PPD and said I should be grateful DH is so loving toward LO and I. It was heartbreaking to hear!
Going back to work was a huge turning point for me. I was eager to do something other than taking care of LO 24/7. I know a couple of SAHM that do business on the side... Scentsy consultant and what not--maybe you can explore that option?
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@Coco Bee: Your experience sounds like spot on PPD. It can hit at any time after the baby is born, and it commonly doesn't hit until a little later. In my PPD therapy group there were women with babies ranging from 6 weeks to 7 months old. I definitely recommend speaking with a therapist about what you're feeling. You are very much not alone. Dealing with my new identity of being a mom was the very hardest thing that I struggled with after DD was born.
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@Coco Bee: Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Later today on the HB blog, my post on "Coping with PPD" is scheduled to go up, but on there I did mention some things that helped me get better and a website - http://www.postpartum.net. If you look up your area, you may be able to find some free PPD support groups to talk to other women who have been there and understand. It is really hard to talk to people who don't understand PPD or have never experienced it...they just don't get it. At all. PPD is an illness, it is not something that is your fault.
I remember sharing my exhaustion/depression with someone after LO was born, and she basically responded by telling me how exhausted and tired SHE was (she is single with no kids) and that I needed to be more thankful. We're not friends anymore.
My PPD was intense, and while I didn't have any specific feelings about harming my LO or myself, I did have lingering thoughts of "well if I was hit by a car, that wouldn't be so terrible." I just wanted some rest, some escape. I missed my old life terribly, and I felt guilty for that. I missed sleep. I missed being able to go out without worrying when the next feeding was or if I was going to leak or get engorged. I missed having my own life. I even said to my LO (half-jokingly) when she was just a couple weeks old, "You're going to end me!" I was afraid I would always miss my old life and never enjoy my new lot in life - being a mom to this little one.
Like @skibobrown I also felt very cloudy/foggy and confused. I couldn't remember anything (even things that happened five minutes ago), I couldn't communicate, and I was absolutely paralyzed in making decisions. I was always asking DH, "Should I feed her now? Should I change her? Should I wake her? Should I put her to sleep?" I didn't know what to do.
Those early months are the hardest. And PPD can hit any time during the 1st year. Don't beat yourself up about it...there are plenty of women right here who have been there and understand! It really helps to talk to others who have either been through PPD or had a difficult transition into motherhood. You can't compare yourself to other moms who seem to "have it all together" and try to block out the negative comments as hard as it may be! It's unfortunate your sister was not more supportive.
Thank you for sharing. Hang in there. I hope you can find some mamas in your area to spend time with and support you. Hugs.
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@Mrs Checkers: It's so true that with PPD, you can't compare your situation to anyone else. I have definitely felt like I shouldn't be depressed since I had family around me, a steady job to go back to, etc. and no real circumstantial reasons to be stressed (well except maybe evacuating due to hurricane with a 2 week old but it wans't too bad). I can't really explain what happened, it just did! People should understand that and support you no matter what. There is just so much pressure on moms these days, I don't know what has happened. Even reading on HB sometimes, I have to step back and remind myself - these are choices other moms are making for their kids, but they are not choices that YOU have to make. It's all information, not judgement. Stepping off my soapbox now!
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Just wanted to give this thread a bump in case there are any moms who are going through PPD and want to vent/talk! And to see how everyone else is going.
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Bumping.
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Thanks for bumping. I have been struggling with PPD and postpartum anxiety. I appreciate everybody sharing their stories. I've had multiple little panic episodes every day for the past few weeks and have been obsessing about LO's nap schedule, feedings, night sleep, to the point where I am panicked every time people are coming over or I have to take him out. When he won't sleep (which lately is often) I cycle through rage, depression (sobbing with tears just streaming uncontrollably down my cheeks) and guilt. I love him more than life itself but sometimes my brain says, I wish I didn't have him, and then I want to die from having thoughts like that. I feel worthless and like there is no light at the end if the tunnel.
I also have a history of depression and anxiety. I was on meds before becoming pregnant. I can't take either of them now since I'm breastfeeding but my doctor started me on Zoloft earlier this week. The lowest dose is 50 but she has me breaking them in half for 25 the first week. I'm hoping for some relief soon.
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@ladyfingers: you sound just how I felt when this thread was started 5 months ago. Guess what? We're now talking plans for #2 (not yet though, just talking now.) but my point is.. It really really does get better. Babies get older and things fall into place. You wake up one day and something new has changed about LO. I dreaded taking my DD out until 4 months about. And suddenly she started being able to sleep in the car. Little things like that change and you bond and it gets better. If you can just tough it out a little longer day by day the meds will hopefully work and things will get better!! You're doing a GREAT job hanging in there! Go you!
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@ladyfingers: aw.. We've all been in the trenches so know that you're not alone. Hopefully you get some relief soon and keep talking about it. It really helped me to talk about it with someone I could trust to not judge me (friend also happened to be a pediatrician). We are here for you...
@googly-eyes: it's great to hear how well you are doing.. Proof again that things get better!
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@T-Mom: It has been a rough road and every now and then I still have to talk myself down off the ledge but not all day every day like before which I am so grateful for.
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@googly-eyes: it's definitely a process! You're doing great.
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I'm gonna subscribe to this thread. I don't really *have* PPD, but I'm at a huge risk for it, since I suffered a loss during labor. I'm 3.5 weeks pp, and so far I think I'm doing ok, but people have been around me the entire time.
There was one day a couple weeks ago, though, that was rough. It was a Monday, the first day that DH had to go back to work, after being home with me for 2 weeks. He did such a great job at keeping me happy for those 2 weeks that I never fell apart. I cried all that Monday and then told my MIL to stay with me the next couple days, at least until DS got home from school.
DS has been home from Spring Break this week, so that helped, but he goes back to school on Monday, so hopefully this time I can handle it better.
So, I'm know it's mostly grief, and partially hormones, but I'm not sure if I could even identify it if there's any PPD.
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@katiew92081: thanks for sharing! I too suffered a loss during labor and my story is a little different because I delivered a surviving baby also, but I wanted to let you know it does get better. The first few weeks I was surrounded by family and had so many "distractions" that I was doing great (well besides the hormones!). It started to hit me anytime there was a change in our routine.. When my husband went back to work, then my mom who was staying with us went back home, and then when I went back to work and had much more quiet time to think about things than I did at home with a newborn. I had a regression in my grief process at each if these points. Went through periods of just sobbing and wondering how to go on. Like you, I don't know if it is technically PPD, or just grief. I'm now 5 months pp and still have good and bad days.
I am not on any medication, but I will tell you that counseling has done wonders! My husband and I see our counselor every month, we started out weekly, and its really helped open up our lines of communication so we can talk if one of us is having a bad day.
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@beachbee: Thank you so much for sharing this!
I get frustrated, cause I prepare myself and try to amp myself up. I just think, "ok, tomorrow he goes back to school. You're on your own, you can do this." and I make a to do list, even if it's not all chores, but then the day comes, DS goes to school, DH goes to work, and I think "now what?" I think I need to start having more errands out of the house!
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@katiew92081: yes, get out of the house!! Even if you don't have errands to do, maybe take a walk. I'm not sure where you live and what the weather is like, but I often spend time outside to collect myself and it really makes me feel better. Sun therapy
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@katiew92081: Errands do help! I'm always thinking up a new project to look forward to...
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@beachbee: I'm in the Carolinas, so there's plenty of sun.
@googly-eyes: Yes, I need to find projects...I have been totally expecting to have a little girl to fill up my days, so when she passed, all my plans were totally gone, and I've felt seriously lost. DS is in Kindergarten, so my days have been quiet since August, but in planning for the baby, it filled my days. Now I gotta figure out something. I'd like to look for a part time job, but with DS's summer coming up, that's a harder thing to do than it really seems.
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@katiew92081: Summer is pretty close so I can totally see where you're coming from on the job front! I'm assuming your DS is in a full day kinder too? I think you're doing really well holding it all together! As for projects I guess it depends what you're into.. You could volunteer at DS' school if you feel comfortable being there... I bet they'd love the help. I've even moved furniture out of need to do/change something, lol. I also cleaned a lot before LO... A lot!
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@ladyfingers: @googly-eyes: Yes, we have definitely been there and no lie, it does and it WILL get better! You are in the thick of it, and believe it or not, you are doing a great job. Praying you find relief soon. Each day is a new day.
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I'm glad this thread is here!
My mom had really, really extreme PPD and a lifetime of debilitating mental illness ever since, so I've always been on the lookout for symptoms in myself.
At 3 weeks PP when I was still sobbing most of the day and felt like I was having daily panic attacks come nightfall, so my OB put me on an Rx of Zoloft. I had never taken an anti-depressant before but it was like a light switch. I pretty much never cried again after that (besides a normal, circumstantial reason). At 4 months PP I decided to try and wean myself off of it, under the watch of my doctor. Weaning did not go well, so as of yesterday (4 months and 2 weeks PP) I'm back on the Zoloft daily. And again, I feel almost completely better in every way. I should have just left things as they are. My plan now is to continue the talk therapy I started last week, and stay on the Zoloft until LO turns 1 (or whenever we are done breastfeeding after that) and then reassess from there.
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Does anyone think PPD can affect a person 11 months postpartum?
I have always had crazier emotions since about day 3 of having LO. However, the past month or so, I have been on such a rollercoaster. For about 3 or 4 days, I love everything about being a mom and life. Then I have a really bad day where I cannot focus on anything positive. I have to keep reminding myself that I have the perfect life and I really should be grateful. I feel like it could ruin my relationship with my husband. He is really good and trying to help me out but has a hard time because everything he tries to tell me, I know already. He just offers support and basically a shoulder to cry on but doesn't know what else to do.
Let me also mention that I am 6 weeks pregnant with #2 so i'm not sure if i'm just getting an overwhelming amount of hormones. Although I did still have these days before I got pregnant, it just seems much worse now.
It's kind of a long story on why I don't... but I received my prenatal care from a birth center 45 minutes away, so I was seeing a midwife. I have no PCP or OB. I haven't had a doctor since I had a pediatrician.Subscribe to our newsletter
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