Hellobee Boards

Hey, lady. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Also, congratulations!

I totally get what you're saying--I am 7w4d today, and had a missed miscarriage last fall (found out at 11 weeks). It is so tough, especially after a missed miscarriage, because all of the things people usually say ("Oh, you're not bleeding? You're not cramping? You're fine!") aren't even helpful after your experience.

A dear friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago, when I was stressing out right after I found out I was pregnant, that it's so much better to focus on the joy. And, as hard as that is, she's so right! There isn't anything, unfortunately, we can do to change the outcomes this early, and so it's healthier for us and our babes to focus on the joy! Easier said than done, though, I know.

Another thing to consider is asking your OB/midwife practice to get you in a bit sooner for an ultrasound this time. My practice doesn't usually do them until the end of the first tri, which meant I didn't find out until 11 weeks. This time, they're getting me in at 8 weeks (next week!) for peace of mind.

I will be thinking about you as you go on this journey again--wall me if you want to talk!

I was in your exact shoes. It is hard. I don't have any magic solution, you just need to wait it out. Hugs! It does get better as time goes on. For me, it was very reassuring once I could feel the baby moving. I still worried, but not nearly as much. We traveled and ate out quite a bit during my pregnancy, and I found that helpful to get my mind off things. I tried to treat myself very well.

Some women like to use fetal heart monitors, so you might find those helpful (I never used them, but only b/c I thought it would stress me out more if I couldn't find the heartbeat).

If it helps to hear a positive story, I had a missed miscarriage found at 10 weeks and went on to have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Honestly it's hard not to especially early on but you have to just do the best u can and try to find positive things to focus on and believe me it's easier said than done. I told DH that every appt all the way until my last one which was the day before I want into labor I would be so nervous that something would be wrong but it all worked out and my son just hit 14 weeks yesterday. Sorry I don't have a better answer but congrats and have a very H&H 9 months filled with sticky baby dust

I had the same situation as you- missed m/c at 9 weeks. When I got pregnant again, I was a hot mess. I was so anxious and worried about everything and for the first few weeks, I tried so hard not to get attached (of course it didn't work).

My doctor took me in for an earlier ultrasound and anther at 9 weeks (I had an appointment scheduled for the same point in pregnancy that we found out about the m/c). I was so glad that my doctors listened to my concern. Also, I had a fetal heart monitor which really calmed my nerves.

Other than that, I just had to try to let it go. I knew that worrying about it wouldn't accomplish anything but stressing me out. I believed that my baby deserved to be celebrated no matter what, so I tried super hard to just be happy. It was tough, but t got easier as time went on, especially when I started feeling him move.

Congratulations!!

I have not yet gotten pregnant after my loss, but I already know that this will be a problem for me, so I come armed with a plan:

It seems cold and calculating, but I cope much better with stats and numbers. For example, doctors think that as many as 50% of "pregnancies" end before a woman who even know she missed her period. So until I am at about 16-17 DPO, I understand that anything can happen... then your risk goes down with each week and each milestone (seeing the heartbeat, hearing the heartbeat, getting a good NT scan, having a good AS, etc.), so each week I can tell myself, there is a 5% chance of mc after you have seen the heartbeat... that means there is a **95%** chance that everything will be fine. Keeping those things in perspective really helps me (and worked with my first pregnancy, when I was dealing with the scars of IF and terrified we would have to start again).

Of course, this only works if your doctor is willing to schedule you for a series of u/s. Based on your previous loss, I'd ask for a scan around 6-8 weeks instead of waiting. And big, huge ((hugs.))

I wish i had a good answer for you. I had two, at 12 and 7 weeks and I was not calm at all. My OB"s office was great about giving me scans every other week and my anxiety lessened gradually. But...There wasn't much I could do. I would definitely push for an earlier scan if you can get it. It can alleviate a lot of stress

Just want to say I am sending you positive thoughts. I had two m/c, one at 6w and a mmc at 12 weeks. I am 12 weeks today and everything is looking good. I was a nervous wreck and still am butI feel a little calmer now. Seeing the baby on the u/s getting bigger helped and the u/s tech at my OB is really nice. She told me to talk to the baby everyday, which helps me a lot. Sounds like you are taking it day by day which I think is the best advice. Good luck

I only found out 2 days ago that I'm pregnant...3 months exactly after my D&c for a missed miscarriage. Even my hcg levels were doubling so I feel like I can't even count on that. I'm staying calm by being in a state of denial and not getting too excited of thinking too far into the future. I just remind myself that what is meant to happen will and I have very little control over it. I'll take my vitamins, stop drinking, all those this you're supposed to do because my body will take care of this pregnancy the way it's supposed to (and if that means miscarriage, well that sucks).
I'm sorry if this sounds cold and distant because as Happy as I am about this pregnancy, I just can not let myself get too attached just yet.