Hellobee Boards

@sweetooth: haha omg cold jelly sux! My ob had cold ones but the high risk doc had it all warmed up, it was SO nice! Also, hang in there, it really does get better. Although for me, it took 15 weeks. I really had to remind myself I really wanted the pregnancy. I was so miserable.

I keep having horrible dreams about losing the pregnancy lately. That and of someone "kidnapping" my dog. The pregnancy dream is always before the dog dream like the one triggers the other. This happening to anyone else? I feel like its the result of a previous mc and infertility. Plus I know two women in real life lose a pregnancy at 20 weeks so its on my mind. Blah.

ETA: I was also in a car accident Tuesday so had to go get baby checked out. Maybe that freaked me out more than I thought.

@ladybee: I had dreams about forgetting to feed the baby and letting her starve. And there's been anxiety about the baby strangling on the cord in utero or just some other weird thing. I just have to keep reminding myself that most babies are just fine and there's no reason mine won't be.

@LMOG47: Thanks And thank you for commiserating. Your story made me laugh Easy access makes perfect sense!

@marionberry: I do try to appreciate the reminder that I am pregnant - but boy, could I do without this constantly sick feeling. I'm hoping it fades in the next few weeks and I can get on a healthier kick with food and exercise. I'm glad you were spared the morning sickness.

@tequiero21: It totally sucks! Sorry to hear you experienced morning sickness too. It really does test you, doesn't it? I know I need to be grateful, but boy is it hard when I've felt so crappy for so long.

@marionberry: I worried until the end. The worry never stops, unfortunately. Even now, I worry that something bad will happen to the kids. I think even when the kids have left the house and have families of their own, I'll still worry.

@Jennimac: Yea! Glad to hear it.

@marionberry: Honestly, I can't wait until Baby gets here and I can see if she's ok with my eyes.

@Grace: thanks!!!!

@jetsa: u mean about the worry? I don't think so. He doesn't really think about it. I know we were both really worried throughout the pregnancy. To make ourselves feel better, we pulled out the Doppler every so often to make sure the kids were ok. But now that they are here, he doesn't seem to worry like moms do.

@jetsa: o, lol not really. I definitely don't think I could do this without him, but I definitely don't worry about him like I worry about my kids.

@jetsa: I think it's because especially now, the kids are so helpless. But also, they are and will always be your lil babies. Even at 80 lol.

This blog post resonated with me. http://www.blogher.com/pregnancy-after-infertility-neither-here-nor-there

@raintreebee: So glad you're here I hope everything goes smoothly on Thursday. A little breathing technique I learned from Circle + Bloom is thinking positive as you breathe in, and negative as you exhale. Just keep bringing in lots of positive thoughts, sending them right down to your baby And try to let the negative release from your thoughts on every exhale. It's something that helps me feel "in control" during the transition from IF to pregnancy. Plus, deep breaths really help to calm your body and mind.

Thanks for sharing that link. It really spoke to me, I'm having a hard time getting into any baby purchases.

@sweetooth: yes! We are having another little girl. suprisingly, that makes me feel calmer than more freaked out, considering. Today I'm 21 weeks pregnant which is the farthest I've ever been!

@raintreebee: I'm so happy to see you here!!!

@sweetooth: @Grace: @Jennimac: Thank you ladies! It feels good to be here!

@sweetooth: did you buy the circle + bloom for pregnancy? I have the ivf one and loved it. i want to buy the pregnancy one to calm me down but think it is too early to buy pregnancy related stuff. catch 22, I know.

@raintreebee: I did buy the C+B program for pregnancy. But I purchased it before they expanded the recordings. I think that what they provide now sounds really helpful. I wish I had all of those recordings for the first trimester. I think I waited until my 4th beta to buy it because I still couldn't believe it.

@marionberry: I've come to accept, during the 20 months of my fertility journey, that we're all different. I don't think buying baby items before pregnancy is "bad luck" - I just know myself and I'll feel more comfortable bringing the physical items into my home a little later in pregnancy. But it hasn't stopped me from researching And I'm not worried about the timing of the purchases. I'm glad you're doing what's right for you!

@sweetooth: Did you do the maternit21 test? I found that it was HUGE in putting my mind to rest about losing the baby. After getting the results that everything looked good and the chance of Down's was 1 in 40,000, I stopped feeling every day like the pregnancy was going to disappear. I also stopped having days where I just had to use the doppler to make sure he was ok.

I can't imagine how you don't buy stuff though! But then, I was buying gender neutral things pre-pregnancy. DH and I are shopaholics, I think.

@sweetooth: I didn't start buying things until after the 20-week ultrasound. There's lots of time to buy things....plus, I like the idea of leaving things until after Baby is here to have excuses to leave the house. haha! And I just literally LOLed at your ugly baby stuff comment. I sometimes feel that when I walk into a store, but it is possible to pick and choose. Your stash will look cute and sophistimicated all at the same time.

So I am 5 weeks 4 days today and still not feeling much. I am perhaps more tired than usual, have some weird twinges and very mild cramping, and perhaps slightly more emotional, but other than that no nausea. I did have intense hunger last week, but that has subsided somewhat. Anyway, my 5 week ultrasound went fine (saw gestational sac), but I won't see anything more until the 6 week one this Thursday. My levels were also above normal and progressing nicely (34 hour doubling time). BUT I am still freaking out, convinced the next ultrasound won't go well. We almost got into a bad car accident on Friday when a tire flew off from a car in front of us flew off and nearly hit us, and I worry that my panic from that moment did something (although we didn't even break, I just lost my breath and was utterly stunned). I know this all sounds irrational, but that's why I am posting it here! Anyway, I guess I am just looking to voice my anxieties. I thought I'd be so happy once I got to this point, but instead I am terrified. I do POAS every other day or so to make sure the lines are still dark, and that relieves some of the panic. And it doesn't help that we are moving this week, so another fear I have is that moving stress is going to cause harm. ARRRGH! I hope I feel better after seeing the heartbeat. Sorry for the novella!