DH and I can't decide if we would like to be team green if I am fortunate enough to become pregnant. What do you think the pros and cons of being team green are?
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I always wanted to be team green, before I even know what "team green" meant. But, then I got pregnant! I couldn't handle not knowing. When the nesting instinct kicked in I was so glad I knew. It was nice to be able to buy/fold/sort clothes and get the nursery completely ready before she arrived! Plus, I really prefer gender-specific clothing. I love a girl in pink!
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We loved the surprise! It was such a sweet moment when DH told me it was a boy. We also appreciated that people bought us gear rather than clothes at our showers (unlike my friend and SIL who got tons of clothes and little gear) because people brought boy clothes when they visited DS for the first time (obv I know this doesn't always happen).
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for me, it was the connection to the baby. as soon as we found out it was a girl, i could start to imagine her more. i also think had it been a boy, it would have given me time to get really excited about it. i wouldn't have been disappointed with a boy first, but just not how i pictured our family (both DH and I have the oldest as a girl in our families.)
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We planned to be team green last time before things got bad. A big part of that was our desire to go more for gender neutral parenting. We didn't want all pink or blue stuff. (A valid concern. My aunt angrily told my mom that SHE was only getting GIRL stuff once we knew she was a girl.) We also thought it was fun, and I'm a bit contrary so I liked that people were annoyed by it.
But once we did find out, I was really surprised what a difference it made in how real she felt. I felt much more bonded to her knowing she was a girl. (In retrospect, I'm not so sure that was a good thing, but it is what it is.) We're finding out this time (next week!) early because of genetic testing. We could choose not to be told, but now I need to know to give myself time to process one way or the other. Also, thankfully we did get all gender neutral nursery stuff, so that won't matter, but almost all the clothes are girly so we'll need different ones if it's a boy.
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Pros
so fun!
You get to shop for both genders
people get super annoyed
it makes birth amazing getting to see gender
once in a lifetime thing in my mind
don't have to share the name til birth -
I loved the surprise and excitement of it. I also appreciated how I got gear at my showers, not just girl clothes, but that's totally secondary. It was just so exciting to have this big thing at the end. I admit though, the actual "it's a girl!" Moment was anticlimactic, since we were both so stunned that the baby was finally here, that the nurse had to remind us to look!
Cons- let's face it, a lot of neutral clothes aren't as cute as boy or girl, and you are more limited with nursery stuff. You have to come up with two names when one is hard enough. And I can see how bonding is different. Like it took me a few days to wrap my head around the fact that I had a daughter.
Still wouldn't change it. We haven't decided if we would find out for a second child.
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I loved being Team Green...
-it kept everyone guessing and wondering.... Lots of excitement building up to the birth
-no pressure to disclose our names
-my baby shower was pretty much all useful gear
-the moment when dh said "it's a girl! We have a daughter " is one of the most amazing moments of my life
-I could hear the cheers when he brought the pink onesie out to our families in the waiting room. That was awesomeI also found it helped me to stay 100% excited during labor. Instead of being scared or thinking I couldn't do it, I was focused on finding out if we were going to have a son or daughter.
I get that it's not for everyone - but I loved it and will definitely be TG again! Dh initially wanted to find out the first time around, but after our experience he is even more TG hard-core than I am for baby #2.
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Pros: the anticipation, don't have to worry about people going crazy with gendered gifts, having the "it's a ___" moment at delivery
Cons: other people (doctor, ultrasound tech, etc) already know something about your baby that you don't.
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@Leialou: So far there hasn't been too many cons to being team green, it was something I felt very strongly about doing it.
Pros:
- we went through IVF so there wasn't the surprise of "we're pregnant!" so we are excited to find out at delivery what we are having
- people that have bought us stuff have mostly bought practical things rather than clothing (anything is appreciated but this is a nice bonus)
- it has helped me to focus on putting together a streamlined nursery without getting side tracked by boy or girl things!Cons:
- we are having such a hard time with boys names I wish I knew if we really needed one!
- certain people are annoyed that we don't know and act like we are inconveniencing them! -
Pros: I LOVE surprises. If my mom had told me (as a kid) where all my Christmas presents were, I would have avoided them like the plague. It does not bother me in the slightest that the US tech knows what I'm having!
For me, there are no attachment/bonding issues, because I get to have fun dreaming about a little boy or a little girl.Cons: Names. We're not crazy about name discussions and we're having such a hard time coming up with two!
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@birdofafeather: @Torchwood: I really agree with you both re: bonding. As soon as I knew my LO's genders I could really focus on them as an individual and a real human being that would soon be in my life as opposed to just being a "concept." It really connected me to them. I loved feeling like I knew them even though I hadn't met them and I loved being able to buy specific outfits that were more gender specific once I knew.
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Cons:
We found names to be very difficult. Very difficult. Coming up with two would have involved a battle.
Being able to prep #1 on an upcoming sister gave her some thing a bit more concrete to understand.
We hardly got any clothes at my shower and got almost all of our gear.Pro
That delivery room moment sounds exciting. -
We did both. My first we found out and the second time we did not. I think finding out gives you more of a sense of control over pregnancy which some women need or want. Not knowing was very cool too, I mean when else in life are there true surprises anymore. And I felt just as attached to the baby. But my husband might have felt more connected sooner if we had found out. All in all, I'm glad we tried it both ways, but team green was slightly overrated in my opinion.
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there is nothing more incredible to meet in the moment that I heard my husband say, "Its a boy! We have a boy!" after all the time we spent waiting for kids, waiting a little bit longer to find out if it was a boy or a girl doesn't matter to me. Also, I needed to just one surprise in this whole thing, especially with IVF, just like @mrswin:.
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We're trying to decide what to do now for LO2. Our anatomy scan is next week. Our biggest team green "con" is that I don't want to store all our girl stuff for 6 more months if we're just going to get rid of it. I could totally wait to find out but DH wants space in the garage.
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@mrswin: @meganmp: you make good points about ivf. I won't be able to surprise my family with pregnancy news since they all know I'm cycling.
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I loved being TG and would do it again in a heartbeat.
It really made the last couple pushes easier since we finally got to find out. It was fun to hear everyone guessing what I was having and why. I like that our nursery isn't overly girl or boy. At my showers we got lots of useful things. Then after DS was born we went shopping and stocked up on boy clothes.
I didn't find any cons with being TG.
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I loved being team green!
The only con is that we kind of had to do everything twice, like go through the exercise of picking names and deciding on birth announcements. So, rather than focusing on just one sex, we had options for both.
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Pros: makes pregnancy so exciting. This was the biggest thing for me. I know it's contrary to popular opinion but I was a lot more connected with the pregnancy than when we found out.
I assume it makes the birth more exciting too. I couldn't wait for that moment in the delivery room for dh to announce but someone slipped at an u/s the week before lo was born.
If you are unsure about wanting to know and decide later on that you do you can find out then. If you find out early you can't take it back.
If it's your first and you plan on more than one, it's really nice to have neutral gear and newborn clothes.
Cons: names. Omg if picking one name wasn't difficult enough...
A lot of "neutral" items really skew in one direction and a lot of people have different opinions of neutral. Not really a big deal but my boys have both spent their fair share of time in jammies with pink polka dots.
People can be super annoying about it. Most people are fine and excited but others just won't shut up about it. -
My friend urged me to be team green because he said it made labor so much more motivating for his wife. I'm too much of a planner and found out early on. But I had no issues with motivation during labor!! I wanted that baby out and in my arms like I'd never wanted anything else!!!
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