Hellobee Boards

Yes!!!!! All the time! I work with some moms where I think work is their escape from home and as I love my job I would rather be home...so a lot of our "parenting" ideas clash

Yes, the other day a friend asked me 'so what do you actually DO all day?!?' After I had mentioned how hard it was at the moment being sahm to a toddler. I know I should ignore her but it really stuck with me I guess I was hurt that people like her must really just think I have nothing to do. Argh!

I can't believe that person said that to you - I would have found it hard to smile!

Oh my gosh I could write a book.

When telling someone about my post partum depression and how I might want to look for a part time job to just get out of the house for a bit, this person said, "well that's really a heart issue and you need to pray about that. I'll pray for you."

When I decided to go back to school two years ago, another person asked me how I could choose to "miss out" on my baby's life because he's "only young once."

Someone else criticized me taking a job saying that "babies need their mamas!" My response was, "babies also need their daddies. But you don't seem them getting criticized for working full time jobs."

Because I've been on the fence about one and done, I have gotten those comments too. How "selfish" I am for not wanting to give my child a sibling.

@FaithFertility: But what did the people say to you to make you feel bad about your choices? That is what Mediagirl was asking. This just feels like you dishing out the judgement to those of us who do need a break and like working and...yeah, I guess that is the last parenting comment to throw me. The idea that I couldn't possibly have the same "parenting" ( really, quotation marks were necessary there?) ideas as someone who wishes they could be a SAHM, as if mine are clearly less than.

After finding out I'm pregnant with my second girl, "so you will have to try for a boy then!"

No. I am thrilled my daughter will have a sister. If we have a third (unlikely) it will be on the assumption that it is very likely to be another girl. The best part is these comments often come from people with three kids of the same sex.

@Mrs. Pen: grrrr, those work related questions are just maddening! My coworker is pregnant now and on the fence about coming back after. She mentioned once that her mom would judge her if she went back to work. I was like, "so she'll be judging your husband, too, right?"

I would have seriously asked the woman what was so wrong with her first child that he/she wasn't enough? We decided to have another (36 weeks preggers with #2 right now) but if it hadn't worked out and I only had my daughter, I would still have been completely fulfilled and happy. She is the light of my life.

@mediagirl: I just say something along the lines of "maybe YOU couldn't be, but I am just fine, thank you.

I can totally see how you could be! someone at work the other day who I barely know told me I had to have a least one other baby. Okkkkayyyy then good thing I'm pregnant to make you happy !

WTF, what a dick comment.

What is wrong with people?

I am leaning towards "one and done" but my husband has always liked the idea of 2. That said, we aren't really having the conversation for a while since our daughter is just over 4 months! What I do find to be happening is that people will say things like "when you have your next one" or something to that effect, as if it's just the logical next step for us. I usually don't say anything because it isn't worth it to me at this point.

The one that stung (and still does) was when my MIL made a comment about how she wished we could work it out so H wouldn't have to go to daycare (i.e. I didn't work). Honestly, I'd like that too, but things are easier financially if I work, so we as a family have decided that I will work for now.

@yoursilverlining: I thought the same thing! Like wow, sucks for you that you were so unhappy with your first. I just hope her oldest never overhears her saying that.

I luckily haven't gotten any comments that are this bad.

I was at a friend's son's first birthday party. I was chatting with an older woman (her children were my age) who when she learned that my DD went to daycare was APPALLED. She literally went on and on with stuff like "How do you have the heart to leave this doll with a stranger for 9 hours a day?!" I finally excused myself to the bathroom because I was physically biting my tongue. Later, she brought her daughter over to me, introduced her daughter, and before I could say "nice to meet you," the woman started in again with *do you see her beautiful baby? can you believe she puts her in daycare for 9 hours a day?!* I walked away before she could finish. Because really, there's nothing to be said to an asshat like that.

we got many comments during my last pregnancy about how we could try again for a boy. um, we didn't fail, so..

one aunt (who has two girls!!) actually spoke to me like we were at a funeral. all, "oh..yeah. well, there's always the next baby!" like I'm going to just keep tossing girls aside til we have an elusive boy? what exactly can a boy do that a girl cannot, aside from have a penis? (and even that isn't end all be all these days..ha).

Before I went on mat leave, a woman in my office (whom I don't believe is interested in having children) said "hopefully you don't get 'mommy tracked'". Uhhh, what?!? We have MANY successful, hard working moms at our company, including our VP. Additionally, I've waited a long time to be a mother, so I actually want to stay at home with LO for a while & couldn't care less about work right now! Lol!
I've also gotten a LOT of the "will you/when will you have another?" questions. LO is 5mos... give me a break! I should start telling these strangers, mostly, "I'm not ovulating yet, I'll let you know when I do."

@sorrycharlie: haha! We are the same but with boys. Maybe it is a family thing? My family and DHs family is like all guys so girls are rare. He is one of 3 brothers and I am the only girl of 7 guy cousins my age and my brother. So everyone just wants more girls.

@looch: Or, my favorite obnoxious comment: "We got it right the first time." [insert sweet smile here].