Hellobee Boards

I've researched it some, and will probably incorporate a few of the ideas, but overall it didn't really fit for me.

@Truth Bombs: what she said- most parenting "philosophies" make me roll my eyes. It's so pretentious and absurd. I don't understand how anyone who actually is raising a kid would buy into the idea that there's a one size fits all approach.

Also, the idea that me comforting my crying baby is getting called manipulation by this article makes me want to punch someone.

Don't babies have the right to cry?

Eye roll.

@raintreebee: @oliviaoblivia: yes! The paci works because sucking soothes them, not because it just stuffs their mouth.

Some of the concepts resonate- less/ no toys, being present & attentive during 1 on 1 time, and letting kids learn through exploration and play. Other concepts just seem too rigid- do not interfere, do not soothe, and do not praise/ reinforce good behaviors and effort. I would have a hard time following this method to a T.

don't rock your kid because it's manipulating them?! i'll tell you what, when your 2 year old is crying because she's sick in the middle of the night and she just wants to cuddle and be rocked by mama, then you best do it.

sounds kinda like a boring way to be a baby/parent.

@birdofafeather: word. Comforting and rocking your baby/toddler to sleep is one of the greatest joys in being a parent.

Agree with others that I don't like parenting styles...it's great to get ideas from some, but following a philosophy to a T is a bit ridiculous.

I've been reading about/aware of RIE since before I even got pregnant with my son (I'm in early childhood education and got a reference). I'm sold on a LOT of the principles, but some just didn't work for us. I felt like talking to/explaining things to my infant really was respectful & helpful, but I also know that "baby talk" is useful too. That article stinks; it made RIE all sound like crazy junk.

Thanks @blackbird: for the screenshot!

@Mrs. Lion: yes reading this the whole time I was thinking this is basic Montessori with a crazy add of no paci/tickling/crying intervation!

Doing CIO is hard enough during a bed time, but to do that all the time is too much! Also kids love boob, bottle, paci, lovey, so why deny them!

I think is all really boils down to whatever works for you as parents! Just do your thing and don't try to name it or categorize!

@birdofafeather: I don't think it's about not rocking your sick kid personally.

@Truth Bombs: Totally agree! Laughing/smiling when tickled is a reflex that you can NOT control, no matter how you actually feel about it. I don't mind a little quick tickle occasionally, but I HATE being pinned where I can't stop them. DH has been made well aware of this, and I've reminded him when he was playing with my small cousin. I plan to always stop if I'm playing with LO and she says to, whether it's tickling or something else. She'll learn that saying no/stop does get results, and that she can trust us to respect her boundaries. It's her body, and I don't want to teach her that there's no point in telling someone no when they're doing something she doesn't like, because they won't listen anyway.

I haven't read this article yet, but as others have mentioned, I'm a big fan of RIE as framed by Janet Lansbury. Re the not soothing thing, I'm not sure how it's been described in this article, but from my reading I don't think it means ignoring your child or refusing to offer them comfort when they are sick or hurt. The way I use it is that if my son is crying because he's e.g frustrated, I will absolutely be there with him to support him through his feelings. I will sit by him and put my hand on him and acknowledge how he's feeling, and be available for a cuddle as soon as he's ready. But I won't do anything to try and cut his tantrum short - eg shhing, distracting, coaxing him to stop crying etc. I want him to know that it's ok to feel strong emotions.
Maybe I need to read the article to understand why the perception is negative!

@2littlepumpkins: thank you Ok I have read the article now, seems like they're taking the piss a little Like Blackbird said, Janet Lansbury is your woman if you want to learn more about it!

The one thing I liked: talking to your kid like an adult. Using full sentences and rich language...

But no mobile because the baby didn't make the decision? Umm...it's a baby.

@2littlepumpkins: thanks for posting that for me. I had not heard of Motherese before, which isn't bad at all. When I think of baby talk it's part Motherese in terms of tone and rhythm, and it's also the stuff on the do not list: poor grammar and made up words.

@Mrs. Lion: I agree about the sensationalism in the article. But an article about a parenting "trend" that mainly revolves around treating your baby more like a person & less like a "baby" would be boring right?!

We do a lot of these things at home, just cause it made sense (regular cups, self-feeding, talking to DD respectfully in the way you would an adult) but it sounds so hokey hearing the philosophy described in its entirety.

I will not be calling myself an educarer or project unrealistic behavioural expectations on my 15 mo.

I was reading the article going "wtf is this nonesense?!" but honestly, what @blackbird posted is honestly how I naturally parent for the most part. Sooo.... eh. I dunno. I subscribe to the "survival" method of parenting. lol!

@ShootingStar: I guess they're all so different! Fwiw though (and I may well not be following the guidelines correctly - I just use what works for us), I would never deny him a hug if he wanted one, I just wouldn't necessarily swoop straight in with the hug until it was clear he was finished expressing his frustration and ready to move on. If he was melting down in his highchair I would take him straight out though. My DS is only 15 months so really we're only just getting started with working out how to manage behaviour etc!