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RIE Parenting Method

  1. pui

    bananas / 9899 posts

    I haven't read the rest of the comments yet, but I am already doing Montessori and I think RIE fits in with that well. I really like the idea of being respectful of even the youngest baby. If I was dependent on a caretaker and for some reason could not easily express my needs, I would want to be treated the way RIE outlines, so for me it makes sense to treat an infant the same way. That said my own parenting style is probably mostly Montessori, some RIE and some AP, I don't go "all in" on any method.

    I think if parents thought for a second about how they treat their babies (picking them up in the middle of something without asking them, changing their diaper without telling the infant, who cannot see, what is going on, ect) they would find there are lots of ways to be more respectful. While some of it might seem silly, at the same time I think it makes perfect sense. Babies are human beings, after all.

    I highly recommend reading up on Janet Lansbury's website. I think if people actually understood RIE, more parents would find it helpful.

  2. californiadreams

    pomegranate / 3411 posts

    @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: i didn't get through the whole article, but if it says not to reinforce good behaviours and I listen to that, then I would have to give up my license as a psychologist

  3. meesker

    grape / 84 posts

    I do RIE light. By that I mean that I get a lot of inspiration from RIE and use it as it fits into our life, but I parent as it works for us, not according to how any book or expert says I should. It has always been important to me to treat my daughter with respect and I naturally did things like talk her through diaper changes and just talk to her open and honestly. I didn't discover RIE until she was almost 8 months old, but when I did, it made sense and was a relief. It opened my mind to the idea that my older infant might cry sometimes because she gets mad that I leave the room and that that is ok. Her feelings are ok and I don't have to babywear to go to the bathroom to prevent brain damaging tears. Such a relief! I found playtime exhausting because she demanded my presence and all the reading I'd done suggested I needed to talk to her constantly, but I am a quiet person. RIE made me realize that there was value to letting her play independently in my presence (and out of my presence) and only talking as it came naturally and had meaning.

    RIE helped me learn to trust my daughter and take some pressure off myself. It helped me cut back on TV time (because I didn't need to stop the tears at all costs. But she has plastic electronic toys (that I let her decide how or if to use), I let her have a toy during a diaper change if it means she lets me change her diaper, she has pacis that she chooses when to use or not, we use a high chair, etc.

    One area I have yet to decide how I come down on is the wording of limit setting. RIE and Janet Lansbury are big on "I will not let you . . ." I have heard the opposite that no and not statements become ineffective. I still need to sort that one out.

  4. Arden

    honeydew / 7589 posts

    I'm not a fan.

    I think parents have instincts for a reason. If your baby cries and you feel the urge to cuddle them, that's probably because it's what is biologically and psychologically what is best for baby's development. All of these "methods" just seem to confuse and complicate nature. I vote "go with your gut, it's probably right."

  5. Mrs. Oatmeal

    blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts

    @blackbird: @pui: Yes! I'm reading the Janet Lansbury book now, and so far I really like it. But I came in here to chime in, and was really confused - the article posted was nothing like the book!

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