Ok spinoff of my other topic, ya I went there. I'm already getting a ton of questions about when we are planning on trying for a baby or when are we going to get pregnant. My extended families total 103 cousins and there always seems to be 10 pregnant at the same time so everyone is always asking and nosy. So if we end up adopting all our children what do I tell people? Would telling people we are choosing to adopt all our children, be weird?
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Its none of their business why you have or may choose to adopt. You will get asked & I would give a very vague answer. Example: Why are you adopting? Answer: Because we want to. Is there a medical reason? A: Aren't your balls big. lol J/k a simple its non of your business works just fine or even come back with because we want to adopt. Do you plan on having children of your own? A: Are adopted children will be our children.
F what other people think. Do what you need to do for you.
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@ChattyCathy: Since I read your other thread, I see nothing wrong with telling people that you had trouble TTC and are now ready to move onto adoption. I'm not sure your exact reasons but being honest can be good. I, personally, wouldn't keep from people the fact that you've had failed cycles. I think it explains the emotional toll having trouble TTC has had on you and how strong you are to decide on adoption as your next step. Adoption isn't for everyone but you've made your choice.
You are ready to move on and you are ready to be a mother, suffering through more failed cycles is no longer in the future for you. You dont have to worry about when and if it will happen. You are moving on and adoption is your answer to becoming a mom.
There are children out there that just want parents and you are giving them that.
Hugs!!
ETA: To answer your question, it might be weird to some mothers to hear that you never want to have your biological children. To them, their pregnancy was amazing and they could have loved everything about it. These moms might not understand.
If you feel comfortable with sharing, you can tell them your honest answer. I don't know your reasons but for me, I can understand your reasons for adopting.
ETA part 2: I do have to admit that I am afraid my parents won't understand why we will be adopting. I'm not close with my parents and I don't think they will understand infertility and the emotional toll it has taken on me. I hope they understand.
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@bluestriped bee: I wish more people would be tolerant to any family adding way out there! Good luck with you're journey!!!
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Why do people have to be so nosy? Unfortunately they are. Just because some people can walk by their spouse in the hallway and get pregnant doesnt mean everyone can. And even if its not infertility issues that are the problem, a persons choice on how they want to create their family is their own.
I guess the best thing would be to say that I always wanted to adopt a child that its what you and your DH want more than anything.
Im sorry this even has to be an issue. Good luck on your journey
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We told people and most were excited. I knew my parents would be all for it since they were nea by and saw first ad that I had trouble getting pregnant. We took my husbands parents out to dinner one night to tell them that we were moving on from infertility issues to adoption. They were very excited. I am fairly open about what we were going through so I told people we were adopting and that it was because I was having infertility issues.
I think it really just depends on your comfort level. Of at any time you get uncomfortable in a conversation (ie, they get too nosy) you can always say I'm just not ready to talk about those details yet.
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@ChattyCathy: I always told people we would have kids when we had them. If I was particularly annoyed or feeling mean I would let loose and tell the whole story about why we didn't have kids yet. That was saved for special people though.
When we actually started the adoption process we told people and sometimes included the part about IF if they seemed really confused.
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We did not go into detail on the "why". We just said that we were adopting and were excited about it. A few nosy people asked "why" and I tailored my response depending on the person. Close friends got to hear about my pregnancy co
Plicarions and others just heard "it's what we decided". -
@Mrs. Jacks: Did you write about your complications? Now that you say it I don't think I knew anything about it. Sorry if this is being nosy. Just curious.
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@Mrs. Polish: I'm totally laughing at my autocorrect.
I think I've spoken about them pretty openly. I had pregnancy complications that included a month of bedrest, poor fetal growth due to placental issues and other things. The short story is that I'm a bad baby house and we're really lucky that we got one healthy kid out of it, so we decided to not push our luck with it again.
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