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We told the Facebook world after 12 weeks. However, anyone who knew we were going through IVF knew almost immediately. It's the nature of the process. Our families knew before the Facebook announcement but after we saw the heartbeat a few times.

I don't know that there is an 'appropriate' time. I think the reason many people wait is to avoid sharing early is to avoid having to share a loss, but if you are a person that is very open and would like the support of an extended community if you were to lose the pregnancy, than maybe sharing early is appropriate for you. Some people wait until they see a heartbeat (you are significantly less likely to experience a loss once the heartbeat is detected). Other people are very private and cautious and attempt to hide it as long as possible. Whatever someone is comfortable sharing is appropriate for them.

I think the reasons for the trend of sharing sooner are that more people are having early ultrasounds and feeling confident in their pregnancies sooner and that there is very little we don't share in our society now and with social media we are sharing every little aspect of our lives so keeping something so life changing a secret seems more challenging.

I'm 12wks and we haven't told anyone yet. After the scan next week we'll tell people as and when we see them. I'm not sure if I'll announce on FB.

I agree there is no appropriate time. I told as few people as possible only because I understood the stats and sadly I did have a miscarriage. But if we hadn't told his parents I wouldn't have known my MIL had a miscarriage before she had my hubby. That helped me get through the darkest times.

Our next pregnancy I'm not telling anyone until the birth announcement

I think its a personal decision. My own motto was prior to 12 weeks I only told those people who I knew I would want to share my troubles with if god forbid we had a m/c. I gave DH the same rules, tell who ever you want just know that if something bad happens you will have to tell them.

Two days after our positive we told our families (it was Christmas so we had no choice, me not drinking is a dead giveaway) and 1 or 2 close friends each. By 8 weeks, DH had told a few more friends. At 10 weeks I told my extended group of girlfriends and work (not by choice rather bc they wanted me to travel somewhere I was not comfortable traveling to). At 14 weeks (after our first tri screening) we announced on FB.

I think it's up to the couple. I had a friend who told me right after she found out because she said she would need the support if she had a m/c (she didn't). I had a cousin who told everyone at 7 weeks, and then had a m/c 2 weeks later. I know it was tough for her to tell everyone about it.

I'm not pregnant, but I've thought about telling my principal (I'm a teacher) and the aide in my room when I find out. That way, if I'm nauseous in the morning or end up having a m/c, they will have a little heads up... I don't know - still tossing that idea around.

@Jennimac: I'm glad to see that you are still sharing even after your loss. It sounds like you have really supportive family and friends.

I agree, we didn't announce on facebook until at least 20 weeks and then it wasn't a big announcement but other people started to post pictures of me with an obvious "bump".

@T.H.O.U.: thanks! I was a little nervous and honestly was trying 'to do things differently' than last time. But, whatever happens, happens. I know it's not something I did or didn't do. So, family knows and family close friends. I'm hoping to keep it quiet at work for a few more weeks. The thing of it is, I'm already starting to show a little since it is technically my second and I had been showing before. Nobody seems to be Noticing that but me, though, which is good!!!

I would never announce on FB that early (I waited until 20+ weeks), but I have no problem telling my friends when I'm pregnant, even if it's early on. They have been nothing but sweet and supportive through my past m/c. I don't tell family until after the first trimester, though. That 6 week heartbeat isn't enough for me and the gossip spreads WAY too fast!

@T.H.O.U.: ME TOO! lol

We didn't tell anyone until after 14 weeks and some people we didn't tell until I was well into my 6th month (grandparents, coworkers, basically anyone I was not close with or felt needed to know). We never announced on FB either.

One of my good friends from HS posted on FB that they were expecting and I reached out to her (we lost touch in college) assuming she had to be as far along as I was. Her LO is 4 months younger than DS and she was only about 6 weeks when they announced. We her second one she told me again when she was only about 6 weeks. Her 2nd baby is due today!

We told our parents and siblings around 6 weeks, and then told the world around 10 weeks. We had two ultrasounds at that point, both with good heartbeats and no known issues so we were comfortable doing it 3 weeks early. I wouldn't be comfortable doing it any earlier than that, and next time we will probably wait 12 or 14 weeks just because having a secret is fun

We told our family early - 6 weeks. We wanted their support in case anything happened. We then waited to tell anyone else until we heard the heartbeat at 9 weeks. We had an ultrasound at 10 weeks and heard the heartbeat then so it pretty much became common news by then. The study I read said after 9 weeks and hearing the heartbeat your mc rates go down to 0.5%. I'm 12'weeks now and still not feeling totally out of the woods but I'm starting to show so am glad that everyone knows.

I don't think there is a hard and fast rule about when to announce. It is just whenever the couple is ready to share the news. DH and I told our immediate family around 8 weeks but did not tell other family or friends until 14 weeks.

Before we even TTC'd, I always swore that I would want to keep things quiet until after 12 weeks, and my DH never understood why. He always said he wouldn't be able to keep quiet.

But when I finally got PG, I realized how hard it was to keep it a secret, especially amongst good friends/family. I wanted to tell people SO. BAD!! So we did end up telling a handful of people... and then had to tell them about our MC a few weeks later. It was really, really hard.

So we both agreed that next time, we'll stick to the 12 week rule, at minimum!! Although, we found out about the MC at our 12 week appointment, so that seems like barely the "safe zone".

We told immediate family after we saw the heartbeat (7 weeks). We told close friends around 10-11 weeks. I announced at work after my first trimester screen results came back (13 weeks) and we started telling people when we saw them. We didn't put anything on facebook until after 20 weeks.

I think it's a personal thing. I know people who tell everyone the minute they get a positive test. I waited till the end of the first trimester because I had a lot of spotting during the 1st trimester.

Miscarriages are super common. If you're ready to deal with the fallout of things going unplanned, then tell people whenever you want to.

@Jennimac: rooting for you!

I think it's whenever the couple feels ready. We didn't fully announce til after our anatomy scan at 19w.

I never did an "announcement" on FB. We told our immediate families (parents & siblings) right away. Then we started telling friends around 14 weeks. At some point, someone noticed a picture of me looking quite pregnant on FB and I confirmed it... that was probably around 6+ months