I'm on maternity leave and work called yesterday about a possible meeting next week (my daughter is almost 8 weeks). I just burst into tears for the whole afternoon after I got off the phone—I'm just not ready to go back in. I haven't started pumping, I don't have a nanny lined up...etc.
I was planning on going back, but the call has actually made me consider quitting all together. Anyone else struggle with work and its demands?
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
I'm not quite where you are yet (still pregnant here) but I imagine this must be incredibly common. Going back to work after a baby is very challenging! And plenty of moms aren't ready to go back once there leave is over. I'm sure there are some other ladies on here who have been through it that can give you advice. Hang in there!
persimmon / 1087 posts
How long is your leave supposed to be? If you are technically still on leave, do you really need to go to the meeting?
pomegranate / 3595 posts
I agree with @calsmom that you should not need to go in while you are on leave unless it is some exceptional situation.
My LO is now 9 months old and I went back to work FT when she was 12 weeks old. It was really hard, and it still is on some days. Financially I don't have any flexibility as far as considering SAH, so in some ways that made it cleaner--I just need to suck it up and get through it. So, things that have helped:
-daycare that I trust that LO is enjoying and being well-cared for
-doing something meaningful at my job so I feel like it has been worthwhile to be gone from her all day
-a support system--I have some good friends at work and 3 other new moms to compare notes with
That said, though, there are days when I think how nice it would be to be home; and other days (like when LO is fussy and won't sleep) when it is nice to be able to have a break from her and think about grownup things. Some days are better than others and that is still true, but as you get settled back in to work the good days will start to be more frequent.
Let me know if there are specific things I can help with--we all need to support each other!
pear / 1728 posts
I struggled with this BADLY. I sobbed when I thought about nannies and leaving her to go back to work after 12 weeks .I considered quitting. But deep down I knew Id always regret not at least attempting to go back to see how it went. That initial separation is the hardest thing Ive done. And to be honest, I still struggle daily with whether or not I want to work, but I keep coming because I know that with both os us working, we can give her the lifestyle we want to give her.
My advice is this-if you dont think you are ready yet, Id maybe consider taking some more time. You will never feel 100% ready to go back (I didnt anyways) but maybe saying "ok, I have 4 more weeks" will get you a bit more mentally prepared. Also, if you werent scheduled to go back after 8 weeks and this meeting is interfering with your leave-dont go. You arent obligated. But give it a shot. Tell yourself you will stick it out for a specific timeframe. For me it was 2 months. If going to work daily after 2 months was still gut wrenching, Id have quit. It got much, much easier. Truthfully, it gets harder for me the older she gets because I leave and she cries, or clutches me and cries "maaama!" and it breaks my heart. But if you dont give going back a shot, you might regret it someday and say "I wish I would have tried"
Keep your head high momma. I know how difficult it is and I know the pain and sickess you are feeling deep down. It does get easier. Promise
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
Oh I cried a lot the last bit of maternity leave because I didn't want to leave my LO. I was seriously considering quitting my job. Like the others have said, it is really tough but it does get a little better over time. For me, it was a little easier because I can watch her on a webcam all day.
How long are you taking off? I do agree with what the others have said - if you're not going back until 12 weeks, they can't make you go into that meeting. Take the time off and relish the final 4 weeks of just you and your baby. @LivsMama gave some great advice regarding going back to work and I don't think I can do any better than that.
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
I had such a hard time going back to work 
I was originally supposed to take off 14 weeks, but around the 10 week mark, I knew I wouldn't be ready to go back then. I requested an additional month, and went back part-time when LO was 4.5 months old. It was so, so hard... I dreaded going back with all my heart and cried so much. I actually ended up quitting my job after two months.
I'm glad I gave it a shot, though - I didn't want to just quit without having tried. Plus, I think now I relish being home with her more.
Good luck... hang in there. This is so hard
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