Question for you team greeners:
Do you notice an age divide in the responses you get to not knowing the sex? I feel like middle age and up I get "oh good, it's better that way" and closer to my age I hear more, "I could never not know! I need to plan!"
Anyone else notice that?
coconut / 8483 posts
@jedeve: Not sure how old you are, but my mom is 50, and never understands why people would find out. She thinks its a great surprise.
People my age (24) seem to always find out! I only know a couple people who didn't.
So yeah, it seems like a pretty big divide! Maybe when my mom was pregnant it wasn't as common to find out? that would explain why people in an older generation don't get it.
ETA: I think we will be team green when we are preg
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Ya, our parents were more accepting but most friends and our siblings didn't understand.
We dropped out of being Team Green at week 16!
pomelo / 5178 posts
Yes! People of my parents' generation were very positive about being Team Green, and generally people of my generation were more surprised that we didn't want to find out.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
Same, the older generations loved that we were team green and most people our age thought we were crazy
pomelo / 5331 posts
I just think that the younger you are, the more likely you are to be part of the whole technology, information, "need anything" generation. Like @adnama said, for older people, not finding out is normal.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
We were team green until the US tech slipped at 25 weeks. People were the same, our friends were like oh my gosh I have to know, and older folks were like aww good that's how it should be!
pomegranate / 3895 posts
Yes! I've definitely noticed that!
The thing I don't understand about the planning argument is....what do you need to plan that requires knowledge of your child's sex? I can understand if you wanted to do a gender-specific nursery, but other than that, I can't think of a single thing. And this is coming from me, a serious Type A/planner!
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
Absolutely. Of the "older" generation (my parents age and up) only one person wasn't very vocally supportive of us not finding out (my stepmom) because she wanted to be able to buy blue or pink clothes. All the rest of them were very supportive and approving of it.
Everyone around our age and younger, however, thought we were nuts for not finding out.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I was publicly criticized by and older lady (50's) for finding out the gender. She said God gives us babies as gifts and we aren't supposed to "open our gift" before God delivers it. Lol ummm...
coconut / 8279 posts
@jedeve: I wasn't Team Green but I totally think it's because the older generation didn't have the option of finding out available so they don't understand why you would want to.
I couldn't do it personally because I hated the idea of a team of doctors (I was high risk) knowing the gender of my baby and having to make an effort to hide it from me.
@Bao: I had quite a few friends and relatives that this happened to - one friend was going to be induced in an emergency situation and her doctor let it slip that she was concerned about how "HE is doing in there and that HE has to come out today"
pomegranate / 3643 posts
It's funny to me I haven't heard an older person say, "oh I wish I could have found out!" Maybe they would say that if we knew?
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
@rachiecakes: oh geeze yeah, the tech says "she's in the 26th percentile, for a GIRL" We were bummed but made the best of it. Crappy thing is, it was the 2nd time she had done it in 12 years! We are so unlucky haha.
cherry / 181 posts
I am encouraged by the number of my peers who are also not finding out- although there are a fair share of "I couldn't think of one good reason not to find out" people. I counter that with "do you like to save money, yes or no?" They always say yes and I tell them that on average team green families spend less money pre-birth on baby. Can't argue with saving a few bucks (although that is not the only reason we are team green- it is the one people can usually relate to though).
cherry / 103 posts
we are still on the fence about whether we will be Team Green or find out (I'm only 7 weeks, so we still have time before we have to decide), but I definitely notice the generational gap. our parents want us to be surprised, because they didn't have the option of finding out and loved the surprise, but of my few friends who know who have kids, they did find out and are pressuring me to do the same. I can see both sides of it, hence not having decided yet.... anyway, I do think it's because it's what was the "norm" at the time and that's why people (older and younger) feel strongly about it.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I agree that the older generation is more likely to say it's good to be team green. I probably have more friends who do find out, and a good handful who I know will be frustrated that we are team green, but I also know a bunch of people my age who were team green or like the idea. My brother and sister both were, and my little sister can't understand how you could possibly not want to know.
The thing that really pisses me off are people who actually get annoyed and put out that you didn't find out, because they can't buy the cutest clothes. Then, don't get me a gift, I don't care. I am not going to change my mind about something that is important to me to make it easier for you to go shopping.
persimmon / 1453 posts
Bahaha...that's been my experience exactly!
Anyone over the age of 40: "You're not finding out? GOOD!"
Anyone under: "REALLY?! I was too impatient/I needed to plan names/nursery/everything!"
40w next week. Can't wait to meet little Pat and find out who guessed right!
pear / 1672 posts
Yes! Totally! Both my Mom and MIL have said that they think it's great including a few other older relatives. I think that they like it because it replicates their experience. Everyone of our generation (with kids or not) say they would want to know and looks at us like we are crazy.
Another group of people who I tend to notice are supportive of Team Green? Anyone related to my care. A few of the Obs in my practice thought it was great. We were interviewing doulas, and they thought it was pretty cool, too.
@HerGreenApples - Ditto! I am a super planner, and the only thing being Team Green has affected so far is choosing names.
grapefruit / 4903 posts
This has definitely been my experience - incredulity from peers and satisfaction from elders!
@Bao: What a bummer! Our office doesn't note in your chart the gender if you're team green to avoid that kind of slip. I'd be so frustrated! The downside is there's no changing your mind though.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
@rattles: well it was actually during the ultrasound. We made it past the 20 week one no problem but then needed a re check of the spine at 25 weeks and that's when she slipped!
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