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@Kemma: Someone posted once that you should prioritize your older child over a baby, as they will remember the most. Made sense to me!

Honestly, it's ok to be tapped out and have nothing to give! That's life.

We tag team where we can so she gets plenty of fun, one on one time. Tantrums happen at inopportune moments and I imagine they will become a lesson in patience at some point. I've been working on "wait" with E. I try to be gentle but I don't subscribe to most AP methods because I find them impractical for my life and temperament. Also, sometimes I walk away. I have to collect myself sometimes. I don't think that's a bad thing for my family to see, instead of trying to force something

Also, E watches tv while I nurse T...

@Kemma: I'm not in that position yet, but I imagine that aspect would be really hard on me. Just yesterday we took DD to the beach and I was realizing how grateful I am that she got to be an only for a few years. So, my advice, having not yet gotten there, would be to do the best you can. Give n.1 attention when you can. I'd probably be honest with my DD and ask her if she can "help" me with the baby (I do this now, tell her she is helping me by reading on the couch or something if I have to get something done,) or give her a small role in it so she can feel like we are in this together. Try to be kind to yourself and do your best!

My toddler was still nursing when I had my next, so, with nursing they both nurse now, which is really draining. My toddler went from nursing once a day to nursing as frequently, or more frequently, than a newborn. With food, I always make sure the baby is fed/positioned first and explain to my toddler that she needs to get fed first because it's the only way she eats. I babywear the baby all the time and do activities with the toddler. I can still carry my toddler when wearing the baby, so that helps with meltdowns. When I get overwhelmed, I read Aha Parenting for encouragment and strategies, especially for dealing with my toddler. I co-sleep with the baby, and we have a nap together in the afternoon, so we get some decent cuddles in. But yeah, it's exhausting, and I am less good at it with two than one, and it's much harder physically to manage now.

I feel terrible because I've been losing my patience with my daughter a LOT lately. When it's just her and i, I have so much energy for her, but if her brother needs me too and she is acting up I just lose it. I'm definitely working on it.

I do the triage method. Whoever needs me more gets me in that moment. Most of the time it's her asking me to play with her or pick her up when I can't so I've been telling her after I finish whatever task I'm doing I will