So I'm about to confess what I head case I am. It's slightly embarassing.

I woke up this morning with a headache, nausea, and the Big D, which is the opposite of how my bowels have functioned this entire pregnancy.

I called the doctor's office bc I don't know how bad it is to have a stomach bug while pregnant. A nurse that I don't know got on the phone. She asked me what I had eaten in the last 24 hours. When I mentioned Subway, she got very animated and basically scolded me to pieces. I managed to interject that I get it twice-toasted every single time, and she basically launched into a borderline-judgemental speech about how pregnant people should still not take that risk, and that I had still exposed my baby to potential listeria. CUE: HYSTERIA.

She worked me in with the NP today, and basically by the time I got there, I felt pretty much fine. But I was so freaked out by the nurse and the guilt-trip, that I wanted to get tested for listeria. When the NP finally came in, she nicely reiterated that I shouldn't eat deli meats, even heated.

The bottom line is that they had never tested anyone for listeria before, and while the NP insisted that if I had it, I'd be hospital-sick, I was pretty adamant that I wanted it done. She agreed to do it just to ease my mind, but she told me that I'm the first person they've ever tested for it, and that they have never had a patient with Listeria. Ever.

I feel a bit ridiculous for pressing for the test, especially when I was feeling fine by that point, but they took blood and said they have no idea how long it takes, but they'll be in touch with results.

I'm not going to eat Subway anymore, and just wanted to share with you guys that apparently twice-toasted is still not acceptable. And if you're worried, you can get a listeria bloot test, but beware, you will get the Utterly Ridiculous Award on your chart...Like me!

I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there...