132 votes
grapefruit / 4400 posts
I've only been to one shower that was like this, and I felt that everyone who was my age or had just had kids knew that it was a way to get gifts from their registry, but not be Team Green. I didn't really care, but other people commented about how the mom and dad were withholding that information to get better gifts (no clothes).
pomelo / 5258 posts
I like the idea. DH and I found out the sex shortly before our shower. We had gender neutral invites and a gender neutral registry. At the very top it said "It's a girl" but most guests didn't read that even though they bought from the registry. Our shower ended up being a gender reveal for most. Several guests expressed disappointment that they didn't know while shopping. Oh well, I wasn't disappointed! I thought it was great seeing everyones reaction to the girly theme at the party.
papaya / 10570 posts
I LOVE this idea! As a guest, I would feel so involved and so touched to receive this information in such a special way, before any big announcements were made!
grapefruit / 4819 posts
I think this would be super fun! I'd love to be at a shower where everyone finds out the sex of the baby at the same time - something fun and exciting to make the shower more interesting! I don't know if I just missed this in your previous responses, but would you be finding out at the shower as well or would you know beforehand?
apricot / 309 posts
@Ree723: We would have to know before hand to prepare however we tell people (probably a cake.) We briefly considered giving a closed envelope to a bakery to make a cake, but sad as it is, my parents would go to extreme lengths to find out (just for the sake of knowing before anyone else.) They're the type who would call EVERY bakery in the area and offer them $5k to tell the gender early.
grapefruit / 4819 posts
@MrsBananaGrabber: Ugh, that's annoying! Any chance you could not tell your parents that you'll be doing a gender reveal at the shower so then they have no idea? Or will they know there's not a chance in the world you would be TG?
ETA: also think you're well within your right to find out beforehand and have a special moment with your DH
pineapple / 12566 posts
I think it would be fun to find out at the shower. In any case, it's your party and I think you should plan it how you want it, despite what people may think. Actually, it never even crossed my mind that it would appear gift grabby to do it this way, but I always gift from the registry whether or not I know the sex.
persimmon / 1316 posts
I love gender reveal parties, I think it is SO fun finding out. It would be a cool surprise for your guests but honestly, shopping for my friends shower who was team green was pretty dull. Gender neutral clothes just aren't cute to me so I felt like I was settling on the outfits I got. The showers I go to people always buy off the registry and get an outfit to go with it so I haven't experienced people ignoring the registry if they knew the sex. I don't think either option is wrong though it will all be great.
apricot / 390 posts
I say go for it. I would have loved to do this too, except that I didn't have just 1 big baby shower, instead I had a a couple little ones, so I don't think it would have worked very well for our situation.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
If I could go back I would do this! I was one that started to cry when I got home from my first shower because of all the frilly, girlie clothes we got (not my style) and the lack of registry items received. I felt awful that I was so upset and I felt ungrateful for the generosity. However at my next shower I received more from the registry so it did balance out. I did return the clothes when I could, I didn't feel bad about this since I had hand-me-downs from my sister.
pear / 1739 posts
@MrsBananaGrabber: that's a great idea. It adds suspense to the shower and like you said you wouldn't get overloaded with clothes you might not get to use right away. I told everyone the sex before the shower and got tons of hand me downs. I wouldn't have minded some hand me downs but literally bag after bag of clothes that people no longer wanted for their kids. It really bugged me tbh. It was main SOs family doin that. Next baby we are going to be team green for that reason. We don't want tons of stuff we might not be able to use. We don't wanna feel bad about our kid outgrowing clothes super fast. If we announce at the hospital more than likely we will get one or two outfits from most visitors which to me is better than bags and bags of stuff
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
OP, you know your guests best. Sounds like revealing at the shower would be better for you. Personally, I wouldn't tell my parents beforehand. I think if this is something you want to do for your shower you should surprise the hostesses the morning of. Everyone can be in on it together. If the grands really want to feel special- what about having all the VIPs open up a gift at the same time. Pink or blue onesies? Oversized pink or blue rattles? With that many people (5-6 maybe?) someone is bound to throw a hand in the air for the farthest guest to see.
apricot / 309 posts
@LuLu Mom: I'm sorry your first shower ended up like that! Glad your second one was better
coffee bean / 41 posts
Do it! We're doing the exact same thing! We don't know the gender yet, but are intending to find out. Like PP have said, especially if it ends up being a girl, we don't just want/need clothes! Super gender specific anything is really really not our style at all! The nursery is going to be gender neutral regardless.
apricot / 309 posts
@littleblessings: People actually gave you hand-me-down clothes as gifts?!? I can understand offering to give some hand-me-downs to be helpful, but bag after bag seems excessive.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: We wouldn't tell our parents beforehand- as much as they insist that they have a right to know first, they'll have to wait and be surprised with everyone else
persimmon / 1129 posts
I think it sounds fun! I think the most fun is if the parents are finding out at the same time. There are the cutest ideas on Pinterest and on Etsy for a gender reveal party/shower. I've had this invitation pinned forever in case we decide to do a gender reveal for a second baby- https://www.etsy.com/listing/184517901/chalkboard-gender-reveal-invitation-pink?ref=sc_1&plkey=16f8fa3f16194bca346f80c38fcd48a482c2c08d%3A184517901&ga_search_query=gender+reveal+shower&ga_page=2&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery
apricot / 491 posts
I'm one of those TG people. I didn't do it just for gender neutral gifts (although it was a huge bonus). You can still get lots of things that you need (and may not be able to afford, which was our case), and you'll get things that people liked to use or think are cute. Not everyone goes with the registry even when you don't know the gender.
That said, I think doing it combined is a great idea, and if I were ever to find out/do a gender reveal party, I would have it combined.
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