Hellobee Boards

yep, right there with you!! I've found that the things that trigger my LO the most are when I stop her from doing something she is enjoying to do something else- i.e. needing to change her poopy diaper while she's in the middle of playing, getting her dressed in the morning when she is coloring, etc. I am HOPING that these tantrums/shrieking fits get better once she understands that as soon as I get what I need to get done, she can go right back to doing what she was doing!

I think that age is typical for more outbursts - toddlers have more opinions/feelings but no good ways to express themselves. Our son went through a "tantrum" phase and is slowly getting better at expressing himself at 18 months.

What do you do when she gets upset? Usually I try to identify what made him mad and talk to him about it. "Yes I can tell you want to be held and I put you down. That makes you very sad and angry, too. I'll be able to pick you up again when I'm done with X activity." Sometimes I try to "fix" the problem, like letting him help out, but I mostly talk to him while he's upset and he gets over it more quickly. We also try to prep him for things we know he won't like. So we'll tell him before hand that we're going to change his diaper and let him choose which toy to look at and when he's ready to lay back. It takes longer but we have less fits.

Yup, I posted about the SAME thing about a month ago! He is now 17 months and it's gotten better. Sometimes, lol. I think for us, it's really about just heading off whatever the underlying issue is, usually hungry, tired, or bored/overstimulated. It has also helped to make really short statements like "FIRST we put on shoes, THEN we go bye bye to the park! First shoes, then bye bye!" And I just keep repeating that like a maniac

@kml636: eeek congrats on babygirl#2!! we are in the thick of this right now. the whining, the meltdowns, i am so hoping this is another "this too shall pass" phase!

I agree with PPs that talking to him has helped the most and gotten the reaction/resposne that we are looking for out of him!

Haha I joked that 15 months she was a delight and at 16 months she was a terror We are almost 18 months and I think we are seeing an end, she's being silly again and not as many tantrums, but they still happen.

I wrote a thread about this not too long ago. We're at 19 months old. It's gotten a little better. We had a tough night last night with crazy tantrums and two timeouts during dinner because he was exhausted, but wanted his way. What's worked with us so far has been using Harvey Karp's Toddler book. We use the fast food rule for everything communication wise with him. "LO wants a cookie." He nods yes. Okay, you'll get a cookie in the near future. If it's not something we want to give into, we offer alternatives, distract, or redirect. I'm pretty sure that we started timeouts a few months ago.

As our daycare lady pointed out, communication is a reward. So timeouts take away communication until he calms down. After that, he's awarded communication, kisses, etc. Increase in vocabulary for him has been huge for preventing tantrums. He still gets tired and acts out. It's more manageable these days.

I think timeouts at this age is pointless - I see two moms try them at playdates and.. it seems completely futile. All of the local pedis here say not to try until 2. But obviously whatever works for your kiddo!

We try as much as possible to do two things that almost eliminate meltdowns for my LO (also 16m): only ask questions that are actual questions, and be very clear about sequence and give 2 choices. If he is throwing his milk around, instead of "can you please stop throwing your milk?" it's "can you stop yourself from throwing milk or do I need to help you?" if he keeps doing it, he hears "can you give that milk to me or do I need to take it?" if he doesn't hand it over willingly, I count to 3 and on 3, I take it. 99% of the time, he will give it over willingly or by 3. When I or DH forgets or is frustrated and takes it right away, instant meltdown. If I try to just pick him up and take him for a diaper change, instant meltdown. If I ask if he wants to walk or be carried, he typically will run down himself and wait for me.

We also try to avoid no and present an alternative instantly. I.e. " you can't have a cookie, but you can have a ball. do you want to go find a ball?". We need to put our shoes on to go outside - can you help me find your shoes?" Redirecting and adding an element of 'we're in it together' redirects his focus.

Hope some of that makes sense!

@kml636: That's my main annoyance. I've been trying to "honor the impulse" (I forget what parenting book I stole that from) and give him opportunities to play with his water table and in the tub -- he LOVES to turn it upside down so he can splash in the puddle.Oy vey.