Charlie just insisted I feed him olives at the grocery store... even though we had not paid for them yet. I said no, and he went into absolute meltdown.
Because the checkout line was a dozen people deep, I gave him some olives. Baby 1, Daddy 0.
I need a better plan when he goes into meltdown, but am not sure what to do. What do you do when your toddler throws a tantrum in public? Any suggestions?
honeydew / 7968 posts
you crack me up. no kids yet but i'm definitely afraid of this, so looking forward to seeing how people handle these situations.
cherry / 170 posts
Walk out without the olives. From what Bee says, he's pretty verbal, so you MAY be able to talk him off the ledge once you leave and then you can come back. If not, be prepared to take a kicking and screaming child out of the store. Or...let him tantrum on the floor while you finish paying...it isn't like you don't know where he is and the long term benefits of being consistent will far outlast the short term, yet admittedly high-voltage, public meltdown.
Also...don't beat yourself up over 'losing' this battle...there will be PLENTY more for you both to learn from 
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Unless it's in a place where other people will be really disturbed (like a resto), I just get whatever I need to get done as quickly as possible and let the LO carry on. I think that makes less of a scene than trying to stop the tantrum as that is no easy feat. And I need to finish up whatever errand I am trying to do!
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
I had already put a ton of olives and pickles into containers, and so I didn't feel right putting them back. Otherwise I would've left for sure!
I think I'm just going to avoid crowded places until I can train Charlie a bit better... I get embarrassed too easily, and I think he senses my weakness and pounces.
Ordinarily I am very very strict with him and I think he'd know better than to pull a stunt like that with me in ordinary circumstances. I will post some more about my parenting philosophy in a separate post, because I'm curious what people think!
pomelo / 5178 posts
I try to distract DD with something else. Most of the time, I can turn her attention by talking about dogs or something else she loves, but sometimes I just have to suck it up and take her out. Especially if it's a restaurant, I'll just take her straight out without trying distraction first.
cherry / 207 posts
Mega distraction towards anything!!!! Reasoning doesn't work in meltdown mode.
coffee bean / 41 posts
I have tried many things and all of them work in different days.
- Bring snacks - works as an awesome distraction sometimes I get her favorite snack and pack it in her bag so it's like a treat when we go out.
- let them have it out - I do this sometimes, when toddlers have a tantrum the parents have to realize it's normal. it's embarrassing but normal. if you give in to what they want your showing them that to get what they want all they have to do is to scream and have a fit and it will happen more often. So i let her CIO and get it over with usually once she realises I am not caving she will stop.
- tell them they will leave the store. I have done this too. Once my daughter realized we were leaving she got quiet.
After all of these episodes i always tell her to breathe and use her words. I also tell her what she did wrong. It's hard because my husband tries to give her what she wants because it is embarrassing but he's learning.
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
definitely not looking forward to that part. i see it coming soon though. No advice to give, but I would leave without the item as well. Leave him pull a trantrum. I don't care what others think.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
Bumping this old thread again. Very interested in hearing other people's opinions.
apricot / 423 posts
oh, @mrbee has since posted about this on the blog. i think it was how he handled cupcakes ...
here it is! http://www.hellobee.com/2012/06/26/the-best-parenting-book-ive-ever-read/
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@softcream: Oh, yeah. I do remember that post. Thanks for posting that link!
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@stargal: We really wrestled with this one, until we implemented the ideas in that post linked above!
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