Hellobee Boards

Not nagging. I'm the biggest nag. It's horrible. It just spews out of my mouth and I can't stop it.

I have to accept that DH takes fooooorever to get anything done. I knew this from the beginning. I just need to deal with it or find other ways around it.

@crumbs: That is the same for me too!! I feel so much better. I have tried to sike myself out like yes it's going to take him x amount of time to finish this but it will get finished. It's like I almost expect him to be me, but I didn't marry me for a reason!

Figuring out how to talk to each other without being so defensive. Whenever I bring up LO or anything around the house, DH gets so defensive. But I'm every bit as guilty. We're working through breastfeeding and every time DH says something about feeding, I get really defensive.

I also just always feel like he doesn't approve of what I'm doing. This morning while he was getting ready, I went in and sat on the bed and he just glared at me and asked if I was going to do anything today. He's so resentful of me being on maternity leave. He truly thinks its a vacation and no matter how much cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I do on top of feeding, changing, taking care of LO, I can't convince him otherwise. If I ever sit down while he's home, he makes a snide remark. So once he leaves, I get to rest (until LO decides he needs something).

More "US" time and focusing more on DH. Ever since M has been born my life has revolved completely around her. Now that she is a "toddler" I think it's time I paid more attention to the man I love!

Being more independent. I wait around for him to do things & then resent him for 'making' me miss things, when I probably could have just done them on my own or with a friend. If he wants to spend time with me doing things, he will, I can't make him & it's a waste to miss out on things hoping he'll show up.

Probably nagging as well.. and he needs to improve time management! Yesterday for example, he took the day off. All day he lied around (slept in until 12:30) and then watched TV. Then at 4:50 he decides he better take the garbage to the dump that closes at 5 so he rushes over.. then at 7 he starts giving his truck and oil change!! So of course I nag on him about he should be doing these things early, so we can hang out in the evening.. etc. Endless cycle!

I've gotten a lot better, but I really need to keep trying to be hands off and bite my tongue when my husband does stuff for the baby. I don't want him to feel like I am constantly hovering and correcting him. When I lay off he is much more confident about handling him and I get a break!

Not nagging or shaming my husband. Far too frequently I say things like, "What's wrong with you?" when he doesn't do things the way I would. It makes him feel bad, which makes me feel bad.

@bamblm: This.

I hate, hate belittling Dan. I never want him to feel incompetent or unfit as a parent. But, I consistently hover & advise him on taking care of Sadie. I know it hurts him, and I really need to work on it.

I need to work on making an effort to initiate our "spark." DH is the solicitor for sex and I have to be honest - for romance in general. It just does not enter my brain bc I'm so consumed with Baby.

He works offshore for 3 weeks at a time and so I only have her to worry about for extended periods of time, so when he comes home, it's hard to change my ways of being all about baby, all the time.

I dont have a huge sex drive right now thanks to breastfeeding/hormones, but I'm going to try to be "hotter" with my husband.

I took selfies of myself in just a pair of little boyshorts and emailed them to him. I figured that's a start:). He was pretty excited, lol

-Being less resentful over the fact that DH isn't able to help much
-Being very specific about little things DH can do to help me with LO (i.e., he gets overwhelmed if I tell him to get her ready, but if I say, please change her diaper, put her in the red romper, and comb her hair, then he can do it).
-Being very careful with advice/criticism. DH is apt to feel like I am saying he's a bad dad. so I really need watch what I say. I am trying to preface everything with something positive... so I will say, "Aww, thanks for changing her diaper. You're having trouble because it's backwards."
-Being more appreciative of the fact that he works hard at his job and provides well, and also that he is trying his best

Sexy times... I'm always too tired and busy for poor DH - I'm starting to feel bad. Plus, with the new pp body, totally not feeling the best. I know he doesn't care about that, and I need to get over it!

@PrincessBaby: I'm glad someone else said it too!

we have recently just worked through better financial management and merging our accounts and time management

I need to work on not being so sensitive to my husband's comments. he does the constant correcting that @BlueWolverine: mentioned. it makes me super self-conscious and very snappish. i know he doesn't mean to hurt my feelings, but it bothers me that he thinks his way is the "better" way. i'm working on being more specific about what upsets me about his comments.

@MrsCB: first trimester exhaustion is real & you're not being lazy. you're turning *food* into a *human being* with just your own body parts! it's freakin' incredible! it's alright for him to pick up the slack

@PrincessBaby: @swurlygurl: i instituted a "week of sex" where i committed myself to offering/initiating every day for a week

1. Being more affectionate--I'm not affectionate by nature, and sometimes I just don't feel like cuddling or kissing. When I do give in, I make a face and he knows it's forced. I need to make more of an effort because I know it hurts his feelings.

2. Telling him how much I appreciate all he does. In all honesty, I hit the husband jackpot. He helps out a ton around the house, took on all of our financial burden so I could go back to school for a career change, and is amazingly supportive. He does a lot for me and our family and I don't think I vocalize my appreciation enough.

3. Try not to get so easily annoyed. My husband is ridiculously annoying. His sister and best friends will agree. He loves attention. That being said, my fuse is shorter with him than it should be.

@mewtill: DH would die for a week of sex. I might need to try that.

I need to work on being fully there with him when we're together. Sometimes I just need a time to check out and veg but not every time we're eating together, etc.

Sex. We haven't gotten past the painful pp sex yet. Every time we try it's been so discourging. DH has been really patient but I can tell it's starting to get to him.