Hellobee Boards

I don't mind due date questions or what I'm having...people are just generally curious.

How am I feeling is a good question, but at 39 weeks, I tend to be more honest than women earlier in their pregnancies. I'm uncomfortable, and I have no problem saying so at this point, lol.

For some reason, though, I really hate the comment that I'm "glowing." I don't know why, but it's such a weird thing to say.

Pretty much every person I've told I'm pregnant asks:

How are you feeling?
When are you due?
Are you going to find out the sex/Do you know the gender?

I don't mind any of them (though I never realized how much of a script there is!) Even now, pregnant, I'm not always sure what to ask other pregnant women. If I'm not close to them, I leave it with those, if we are actually friends, I might ask if they are staying in their current place (most of my friends/acquaintances are still renting apartments, as am I); I think you can ask if they have thought about names, without being pushy about since some people keep it a secret (like me).

Comments like 'you look great' are appreciated. Comments about the size, big or small, less so-- my little sister keeps telling me I look so small, which I know she means as a compliment, and I'm like, well... am I not gaining enough? Too much?? AHH!

Haven't heard any yet, but I imagine "would you like my seat?" on crowded public transport will sound great in a few months

@illumina: haha! I'm waiting for this one too! Winter coats really hinder any belly visibility so even if I get frustrated with people, it's no their fault because they can't see that I am indeed pregnant!

How far along are you, what gender, how are you feeling are fine questions and I don't mind talking about any of them!

that you look good is nice to hear also!

hmm..... first a disclaimer: I haven't actually been offended by anything anyone has said to me (so far--but I'm only 21 weeks).

BUT....it's strange that now I have about 11 coworkers per day ask me how I'm feeling. Like, NOW, in the second tri, I feel fine. But in the first tri, before anyone knew, I felt like total crap every single day because of my morning sickness and no one knew, and therefore no one asked (or noticed) then. lol

So now, I'm just like, "great!", "fine!", "good!", etc. It's just interesting. They probably all think I've had a very eassssy pregnancy (I would say I have not).

Personally i prefer no questions. Just treat me as you would if i wasnt pregnant. I got tired of constantly being asked about it towards the end

Yeah please start every conversation with "you look great!" or "you're so tiny!". haha. Other than that although we hear it every day, I do think "how are you feeling" is appreciated!

it's a funny question because like @Anagram, I felt silly being asked how I was feeling 30 times a day, especially since it was after the 1st trimester and I was...fine. Plus most people don't want to hear about your heartburn or discomfort.... I would say just chat as per usual, unless you know a person well enough to ask big preg. related questions and know they would be comfortable giving you honest answers...

I've learned to say nothing, other than "you look great!" There's not a lot of upside to saying anything...

Haha probably the most offended I was was when we told one of our friends I was pregnant and all she said 'oh'.

I wouldn't worry about asking repetitive questions, it's normal for people to want to know when you're due, if you're finding out it's a boy or girl, etc. I had so many people tell me negative things about parenthood during my pregnancy that when I find out someone is now I usually make a comment about how fascinating it is to watch them acquire all their new skills or something positive.

@betsyboop: I agree about finding "how are you feeling?" annoying. I always wanted to say "how do I feel? Well, I've been puking for months on end, so pretty much like total crap! You?" But you just have to lie and say "great, thanks!" and hope 57 other people don't ask you the same thing.

@.twist.: I specifically got the winter coat that I did so that people could see my belly while walking/riding the subway. It works...well, most of the time.

Would you like my seat?
I think this will be my treat. (I've gotten two free lunches this past week from friends/colleagues)
These two usually bring a smile to my face.

I know I used to ask the "how are you feeling?" as well, but I prefaced it with telling people that I was sure that they were getting that question a lot.

In general, depending on who it is, I appreciate regular conversation. I'll be talking and thinking about this little person all the time quite soon.

@katiew92081: I don't think people mind the honesty though, especially when it's a fellow mama asking! They sympathize

I think some women get sick of EDD/gender/names etc just because they're redundant - but it's fine to ask! Honestly I might have felt it was "off" if someone didn't ask anything at all for fear or saying the wrong thing than asking redundant questions

- EDD
- Gender/team green
- how do you feel?
- Have you chosen names? are you sharing them? (I don't ask WHAT the names are, just if they have any ideas)
- are you putting together the nursery?
- where are you delivering?

For later on:
- how was your shower?
- did you get what you needed?
- are you nervous?
- can I bring you a meal?

I HATE the question "do you need anything?" Or "if you need something, just ask!" because it's extremely vague. This coming from people I'm not comfortable asking *anything* (what I REALLY needed was someone to clean my house, do laundry and cook... but I didn't want them to feel pressured to). Instead - if you REALLY want to help - ask if you can do those tasks!

"Can I bring you a meal?"
"Are there any housekeeping chores I could help you with?"
even monotonous things like loading/unloading the
dishwasher were hard in my third tri because of the bending
over
can I shovel your walk way? mow your lawn? etc..

Hope that helps!

@ladyfingers: yes.

One thing I love is when people remember that in addition to being pregnant, I am also still just me--so asking about my life outside of pregnancy (school, work, husband, etc.) is always nice! Specifically pregnancy related, however, I agree with what's already been said!

How do you manage to look so great while being pregnant?

"Well aren't you beautiful today?"

I actually got so sick of pregnancy questions, so I was always happy to get other questions.