One of my co-workers just resigned to stay home with her son and I was momentarily jealous before remembering that I'd really struggle staying home full time with my kids.
In a perfect world, would you work full-time, part-time, or stay at home?
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I've experienced staying home when I had just one child, working full-time, and having one weekday off each week. I really liked having the extra day off to run errands and get some fun activities in with the kiddo when there aren't as many people milling around. I think that's probably my ideal. I would really struggle with staying home full-time, both in trying to educate and entertain my children full-time and in knowing I wasn't contributing to household income or saving towards retirement.
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Part time! I think both my kids love/loved daycare and socializing and I do think my sanity is probably kept better by working. While I would love to SAH too, I think working part-time will afford me the best of both worlds if money didn't matter.
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I would love to work part time, I think. LOL.. I have never done it so I can't really know. I do know that I can't just be SAH, I would go stir crazy. I currently WOH 40 hr plus 2 hr commute each day.
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Part-time (1-2 days a week), kids in school most days, and one day a week or a few mornings s week to myself. That would be ideal.
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My maternity leaves have been part time to varying degrees, so I have a decent sense of what I want. In my experience, it is hard to actually leave early on time from work unless you are leaving at lunch. So my preferred schedule is actually 20 hours a week and working from 9-1. That gives me time to run errands before I need to pick up kids or pick them up early from daycare for an adventure when the crowds are smaller.
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I feel like part time in my field always bleeds into full time work hours with part time pay, so I would only ever do it full time.
I've done SAH full time and WOH full time...I couldn't make part time work.
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3 days a week but maybe 7 hour days would be ideal. At this time staying home is not for me, I enjoy working to an extent. Depending on how many children we have that may change with time, I am afraid that school age children may be more challenging to balance it all.
I am currently attempting to negotiate down to 30 hours a week for when I come back from my upcoming maternity leave, unfortunately my role is a leadership one so I have also asked to be demoted ;).
An awkward conversation but I cannot keep up with the demands of my workplace and the mental load at home. I am still torn about it, I have built an impressive career but I currently am not home during the week 5 months a year and it is just not practical. I do not want to miss more time with my family. I am grateful that my company sees the value in me and is willing to work through it, it is not common at all in the organization.
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By the end of both of my maternity leaves I was ready to go back to work - I missed socializing with adults, and having parts of the day where I was only responsible for myself. I also think daycare has been great for my kids. On the other hand, I would love to have more time with them, and there are a lot of great things offered during the day that I'd love to take advantage of - story time at the library, classes offered by our local rec centre. So I think part time would be ideal. Now if only I could convince my job to a) let me and b) pay me my full salary...
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@looch: There are definitely fields where part-time isn't really feasible. The position I have now would not be conducive to part time work.
@MACSUNSHINE: I'm also really nervous about how we will keep up with school aged children. My oldest is currently in Kindergarten, and I can't fathom how we will keep up when he starts bringing home homework and is involved in extra curriculars... and then how we will add in homework and extra-curriculars for #2.
@erinbaderin: I'm often annoyed when the classes or activities I want to take my children to are not offered on weekends.
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I think I would choose to work extremely part time but closer to being a SAHM. Right now I work 20 hours a week and kinda hate it. I want to be home more. I think I would miss not working at all but I think I'd be most happy working 4-5 hours a week.
This is a more recent feeling. I used to love working part time and felt that it was the perfect balance for me. Starting about six months ago I started feeling a much stronger desire to stay home.
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I wouldn’t enjoy being a SAH mom, so part-time would be my ideal. I’d love a 30 hour work week where I got off at 3 every day. Those extra couple of hours a day would be awesome.
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I currently work part time from home. I teach online classes as an adjunct and it’s super flexible.. It’s perfect for our family in this season.
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I would stay at home. LO would go to daycare.
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@looch: @MACSUNSHINE: I think this is so dependent on your field—the part time/full time options and what positions you can do.
I have worked 32 hours for the past 3.5 years and have been a supervisor/manager for the past 2.5. I don’t work Friday’s and usually send he kids to school so it is my organize/errand/catch up day.
So I have been able to juggle managing (with a good team under me) and keeping my schedule and flexibility. I have actually been promoted twice while keeping my hours. But I know that it would be easy to get sucked in to working more and I am really focused on boundaries.
This is working really well for our family right now. DH also works 32 hours or so but his schedule is more stacked (fewer long days). We have been able to work it out so we don’t use aftercare for our kindergartener and it has been really great for our work/family balance. So I would say this is how much I want to work.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: ok, this is actually the ideal situation
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Working part-time is my ideal but it will never work in my field. I attempted an 80% schedule for about 6 months when my daughter was a baby and I almost always ended up working extra (but with 80% pay).
I work full-time now and am mostly happy with it. I do wish there were more activities offered during the weekend and I could use an extra day during the week to run errands, clean, etc. We could make SAH work if it was something I really wanted to do but I know it would be terrible for me personally.
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It depends. In a perfect world, one of two things would happen. I would stay at my current job, but be reduced to 3/4 time and just work 9-2, but keep full health and sick leave benefits.
OR, I would work full time, but in the same school district that we live in. Then I'd have no commute time, and it would basically be the same hours away from home as secenario #1.
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@kiddosc: Currently living my ideal. I work 3 days a week, which for me is the perfect balance. I enjoy time in my profession, earring a living, challenging my brain in an intellectual way. I also have lots of time at home with my nearly two year old and me time for the gym and self care.
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@MamaCate: I completely agree! I stopped trying to change the industry and made tweaks that worked for my life and it works just fine for now.
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Three days a week would be ideal for me!
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I stay home.
Part time would maybe work and be more ideal... But honestly my husbands schedule and job don't allow any flexibility. If a kid was sick, and DH was working, it would be on me to be home. I'd prob be fired pretty quick, haha.
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I am pretty much in an optimal situation. I am a freelance illustrator/designer, work at home pretty much full time. I have flexible hours (sort of), and my work is not quite a life-and-death situation so, if I do encounter a problem I couldn't deliver, it is negotiable.
The problem comes when I get very busy and overbooked, I work around the clock and get stretched very thin. For the past few months when things get pretty bad (that I have multiple projects going, overworked, didn't sleep and have very little patience due to the lack of sleep, the house is a gigantic mess...etc.) DH actually hinted it may be wise if I stop working completely.... but that would drive me insane.
I voted "part time", but in my world there's no such thing unless you turn down so many wonderful things/projects that is offered to you. So I don't know. I guess my goal is to really manage my time / expectations, and put my family first before my work, learn to turn things down, and strive for the "part time" goal.
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Can I pick part-time, but still get paid the same?
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I would fill my 2 work days with work! I work PT for myself as a photographer and the girls go to school 2 full days a week and wish I had more work but I also know it’s a season with 2, almost 3, young kids. DH is a firefighter so with no room for flexibility at the moment so this works for us.
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I love my work and was excited to go back after both my maternity leaves - of course there were sad feelings too about leaving DDs, but all in all I am better when I am working.
For me, in my industry and field PT would never work. I would end up being paid less and working the same hours. I'd resent everyone who worked for me and I am sure it would end quickly.
Ideal for me would be being able to work from home more, unfortunately my company has a pretty strict "presence" rule. I would love to work from home 1 day a week - to get things done (I am SO much more productive when I am not in the office); plus I end up getting all sorts of household chores done too.
And really, if we're dreaming, I'd love to take a morning or after "off" one day a week to do something with the girls. I make up the hours no biggie (hours arent really a thing for me...its more "is my work done")...
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@kiddosc: Fulltime, as I am now, but with flexibility. That’s key.
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I currently work twenty hours over three days and that has worked well with my preschoolers but now that my oldest is at school it’s more of a juggle and we also have the holidays to contend with.
I’m due with my third in April so have resigned to be a SAHM but my ideal situation would be to go back to work on a project basis so I don’t have to work school holidays once #3 is one-ish.
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i picked full time because right now my full time job is many, many hours per week. if i could scale it back to 40 hours a week i feel like i would be a very happy camper. especially if i could do that in part by still doing some work from home at night, but getting to leave at 3/4 some days.
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I would love to work 3 days a week and be home 2 days a week. Sigh. Full time with 2 kids and a husband with a crazy work schedule is a real grind right now!
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I mainly stay home, but I'm a doula, so when I have client visits they're almost always scheduled for the evenings when my husband is home. Then when I'm called out to births (2 or 3 times per month) we arrange childcare for a day.
In an ideal world I'd work regular part-time hours outside of the home. Right now that wouldn't make sense since whatever I made would probably not cover the cost of the childcare we'd need.
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Full time
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I voted part time because that would be ideal, but I’m about to become a SAHM. I’ve been unhappy with my job/career for awhile and while I’ve never had the desire to stay home, my dissatisfaction with my work is starting to really impact me and now that I’ve just had a baby I think it’s a good time to step back from that and think about what I want. I don’t think my current job could be part time, but I’m looking to leave the industry anyway. I’d love to find a part time gig at some point so I can still contribute financially, but I’m not interested in direct sales or multi level marketing.
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I currently work 65-70 hours every week because I'm still in training. I have a little over two years of this left. When I finish I have full intentions of working part-time. I will probably do shift work where I will work long hours for 7-10 days in a row and then be off the rest of the month. I can't wait!
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One of my coworkers just left to be with her kids too! I wish that was me
I do like having income to contribute to the family budget, and my job is kind of nice... sometimes... so part time wouldn't be bad also. My workload has dropped because my department has been hiring, so I hope at some point they will ask me to cut my hours (I can't really take the initiative here, my family wouldn't understand and I don't need to hear their opinions).
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I just went back to work (part time) after being a sahm for 2.5 years and I’m SO happy. My son goes to preschool two days a week so I work those two days. Usually 6 hours but sometimes 8. It gives me enough money to pay for school (a teeny bit extra but not much) and time apart from him (which is what I really needed) while still letting me be home with him majority of the time. I also went into a different field that I’ve been wanting to get into but didn’t have the experience for someone to hire me as a full time position. So it really worked out perfectly.
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@erinbaderin: Word for word how I feel.
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I would love to work part-time, but my work day is only 7:45-2:30 (I stay until 3) so I do feel pretty fortunate. I am also one of those rare teachers who almost never brings work home because I work through my lunch and prep.
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What I’m doing right now, which is super flexible full time. It’s a small office and I work Monday thru Friday but I don’t really have set hours and am able to take off work when I need to for DS without issue. I was ready to go back to work after maternity leave so I don’t think I’d be cut out to stay home but I think I would find working a very strict 40 hour 8-5 job would be super difficult as well. Although I think my daily work hours and flexibility is ideal there are definitely downfalls to being in a small office, ie. no health insurance, no short term disability, etc.
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Right now I’m really grateful for consistent contract work for a start up, which right now is part time. It gives me flexibility to not work when I can’t without too much stress or guilt. I know this is a super privledged position- we can live on my husband’s salary, I was lucky to find his set up. I don’t think it will last forever or be the same, but I’m grateful for what it provides me now- some income, keeping my skills sharp/ relevant in my industry, but also a lot more mental bandwidth for the mental load I was carrying at home anyway. And more and better quality time with my son.
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