Hellobee Boards

When I was 4, I had a Korean halmunee (grandma) babysitter who didn't speak English. Her grandson, maybe age 5-6 was also being watched by her and he used to chase me around trying to pee on me! He had his little weiner out and I used to cry and cry because the grandma thought it was funny. I used to lock myself in the bathroom to get away from that boy. I never told my mom but she never understood why I would cry EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. when we had to leave to go to her.

Likewise, I will make sure LO knows to tell me if something is wrong.

Kill them? Not really, but I would certainly want to. Definitely will try to teach LO to tell us if someone touches her inappropriately. If it's a child her age, I would inform the parent and the school. If it was anyone older than her, I would call the police. Btw, I'm sorry you dealt with that as a child - good for you for having the courage to tell his mom.

I think a lot of little kids (especially girls) had to deal with similar stuff, and never told (I didn’t). We had lots of boys at the Catholic school I started at flip up girls skirts and make suggestive comments. There was a little boy in my elem. school that would try to touch girls - turns out he was being molested at home.

I hope LO would tell me anytime she feels uncomfortable – and will stress the “bathing suit” rule and keeping open, nonjudgmental lines of communications, but unfortunately I don’t think there is any way to make sure your kids tell you stuff like this.

If I found out about an incident, how I would react (after getting all ragey to myself!) would depend on the what/who. If it was another young child, I think I would probably speak to their parents, teachers/school or whatever adults were supervising first, and try to be calm about it. My MIL is an attorney for abused children, and more often than not her little clients are only found out as victims themselves after they start acting out inappropriately. If it was an adult, I would want to know what their version of the situation was (well, depending on what LO said), but I would also want to involve their supervisors and/or the police immediately.

Seriously. I get sad when I think about how I just dealt with it on my own at the age of 4!

"My MIL is an attorney for abused children, and more often than not her little clients are only found out as victims themselves after they start acting out inappropriately."

@yoursilverlining: Wow, that's really interesting and also, deeply sad. Thanks for sharing!

@mrbee: Yeah, she has been an attorney for abused/neglected children for over 25 years. I have NO IDEA how she does it, and stays sane when all she sees day in and day out is horrible, horrible stuff. She's an amazing woman!

@chopsuey119: good question! wow, now that you bring it up, i have been touched inappropriately but only by other boys of the same age at the time. it was SO common in grade school. i never ever thought to tell my parents. it was just so out in the open that it seemed like all the boys in my school harassed the girls so i guess it just seemed normal to me. a lot of it was school yard antics and it didn't affect me that much but maybe it did other little girls. i will definitely have to remember to teach my daughter about these things.

My first thought was simply 'kill them'. But really i would do whatever i could to make it stop and get justice of some kind. I work with abused and traumatized kids, so I definitely realize that it is not until they satrt acting out that many mids are identified as a victim of abuse. I have no tolerance for the school age harrassment that seems to be overlooked.

I will teach ds that no one should touch him without his permission and that he should tell me if someone does, but also never to touch other kids either. Play can get rough or inappropriate quickly (even if its unknowingly or unintentional) so I plan to supervise ds with other kids at public places closely.

I would tell my child to tell us or the teachers. I would prefer he told both. If it is a small child, I would be more understanding because the child may not understand what they are doing is wrong. However, if the child was older I would flip out more.