DS is almost 12 months and we are thinking about TTC soonish. I'm hoping for them to be about 2 years apart.
What's your ideal spacing? Pros/cons to close together or farther apart?
-
3 years is my ideal spacing. I feel like that is perfect for giving DD enough time to be the baby.
-
Ours will be 26 months apart. We felt anything between 2-3 years was perfect.
-
I have a 6yr, 2yr, and a newborn. This 2yr plus newborn stuff is crazy for me!! The toddler doesn't understand so much of what's going on with the baby. He just feels slighted and jealous, and is acting out on top of the normal terrible 2 stuff. The 4 year gap was ideal. He was able to help, understood when I needed to nap, could get his own drink/snack if I was trapped nursing on the couch, etc. He understood that when a baby cried I had to answer. So for me, 3-4 years would be the ideal gap.
-
Hmm interesting. To be honest I'm nervous that we're rushing into things, maybe a 3 year gap is better.
-
I really enjoy our 2 year 9 months age gap. DD1 had enough time to be the baby and then was old enough for preschool, activities, etc. by the time DD2 came along so she had a lot of her own things apart from the baby. So she still felt special. Plus she was out of the crib and potty trained. And then I've had lots of alone time with DD2 while DD1 is in school so it's been a nice situation for everyone.
-
4 years would be ideal for me. That way one coUld be solidly out of diapers and in preschool first. It would give me more time to devote to the newborn.
-
Mine are 21 months apart and although my son hasn't shown much jealousy I do feel like I can't give him the attention he needs or deserves all the time. I like that he can't remember a time without his sister so it's very natural for him to have a baby around but I also wish that he was better able to understand why I have to stop and care for her whenever she cries.
He's showing a huge daddy preference since #2 came and it breaks my heart
So I say 3 years would have probably been better but who knows right.
-
2-2.5 years apart was our ideal spacing. Our kids are 26 months apart and we really like it, but we don't have any experience with any other age gap so nothing to compare it to!
Pros:
- I felt like it afforded me enough 1:1 time with DD before DS arrived.
- The 2's were not a bad age for us, she was really communicative, didn't tantrum too often, and if she did it was easily quelled (harder to quell in the 3's for us! They are so strong-willed in their 3's), so having a newborn with a 2 year old was fine.
- I was able to get them on dual naps pretty quickly! By the time the baby was 6 months, they were both taking afternoon naps at the same time, so I still got some "me" time. I think it might be easier to get them on similar routines faster with a closer age gap (not sure - just an assumption).Cons:
- DD was less independent at 2 than she is now at 3+. I couldn't just leave her for 20-30 min to play by herself (I can now that she's 3!). So in the beginning, we really had to divide and conquer. DH would do a lot of things solo with DD while I tended to the baby.
- Double daycare costs for a longer period of time than if we had spread them apart.Overall, we're really happy with the age gap, and they get along really well. DD is very nurturing to her younger brother, but he does get on her nerves sometimes because he follows her everywhere and always wants to do what she's doing. We're happy we got the infant stage behind us quicker too!
-
2 years was our ideal spacing. Unfortunately that went out the window pretty quickly
-
2 years was our ideal, and LOs will be 23 months apart. I loved having siblings close to my age growing up, and I hoped that 2 years would give them their own activities/friends while still allowing them to be peers. We'd like a larger family too (3-5), so I didn't want to space them 3-4 years apart and spend 15 years revisiting the baby stage.
-
I think this is one of those things that's hard to know without the benefit of hindsight. I know some moms with two under two who say it's crazy having a newborn and toddler at the same time since obviously those are two trying stages, and others who say they played great together pretty quickly and were spared most of the jealousy/sharing tantrums since the older one really doesn't remember life without their little brother or sister. With a bigger gap, I know some moms where the older sibling is totally doting and it's awesome for the most part since they're old enough to understand that the baby has needs, and others where the older one gets very jealous and upset and lashes out frequently about having to share so many things.
Our boys will be a year and a half apart. Our older one is pretty laidback and easygoing, so I'm hoping that will help make this transition easier, but no personal experience yet! I knew I wanted my kids close in age but didn't have a specific preferred spacing. Ours was mainly for financial reasons - we can only afford my being a SAHM for a few more years. And honestly? I just kind of hate being pregnant and wanted to get that over with!
-
We are planning a 3.5 or so year gap. Originally we were thinking we'd start trying when she was about 2, but now we will be waiting until 2.5 or closer to 3 for trying.
I knew I wanted some time to myself (not nursing, not pregnant), and wanted to avoid 2 in diapers. We have extended our time frame because my husband is in residency and it's been challenging to have a demanding schedule and no sleep. So we are waiting until he is done with that. Also, we really can't afford another baby until he is done.
The other thing I like about this spacing is that I've stayed home with my daughter for over a year, and will be working part time for over two years before I leave to have the next baby. That way my resume will be up to date, and not with a short term job, when I return to work after the second baby is older. -
18 months was our ideal, but they'll be 22 months.
-
22-26 months who be my ideal.
-
Our gap will be 2.5 years. I'm not sure what ideal is, I think it varies by the individual.
-
I used to want a 2-2.5 year gap, but now I am leaning towards 2.5-3 years.
-
2 years was the ideal for us, more me. Life got in the way, so it's going to be more like 3 years. Anymore than that, I'm not comfortable with for my health and sibling relationship reasons.
-
I think we're aiming for DD to be between almost 3-3.5 we have another.
In Canada we get one year off at least partially paid, and then they'll hold my position for another year, so having #2 when she's three will allow me to be off until my older one goes to kindergarten, since two in full time day care would be so expensive it's almost pointless.
-
Our two are 17 months apart. I'd love to have 2 more once they are both in kindergarten, and space them out 17-18 months again...we'll re-evaluate in a few years.
-
2-3 years.
-
We're not having another but if we did I'd want a minimum 3 year age gap. My LO is 10 months and even though she is almost a toddler she still seems like such a baby! So I'd want a few years of alone time with just her.
-
2-2.5 years. We will start TTC when LO is 13 months (because of his birthday-we'd like them to be at least 2 grades apart in school). It took over a year to conceive him, so we want to start on the earlier side of 2 years.
-
I think I would prefer 2 years, but due to the high cost of daycare it will most likely be 3-4 years
-
If we were having another child... I have different preferences dependent on ages.
Siblings who are older and grow up within 1-2 years of each other tend - from purely anecdotal evidence- to be much closer than those 4+ years apart.
However, I would never want young children only two years apart - so much work in those first few years. I would prefer more like 3-4 years between them.
-
I am only 10 weeks into this parenting of two thing, but mine are 20 months apart and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. That being said, I have a super easy newborn who sleeps at night and is generally pleasant. My toddler isn't jealous of the baby at all. Its nice that I am getting a lot of the baby stuff over with at the same time since I'm planning to stop at two. They'll be ready for bigger kid stuff at the same time. I was terrified when I was pregnant, but so far, it hasn't been too bad!
-
I'd say at least 2 years but under 4.
-
I'm hoping for 2.5 years apart.
-
2 1/2 - 3 years for us! I'm hoping closer to 2 1/2.
-
We will aim for 2 years and see what happens. May start trying just after she turns 1 cause it took ~6 months the first time.
-
If I were younger I'd have aimed for 2.5-3 years but I'm 33 and we'd like three more soooo... DD and #2 will be just under 2 years apart.
-
@Mrs. Pen: Not necessarily. I think that depends on personality. My brothers are 7 and 9 years older and Im much closer to them individually than they are to each other, being just over 2 years apart. Their personalities dont mix at all (they are complete opposites), whereas I do fine with either of them.
-
Disclaimer: I have no experience raising babies because my first one is still baking (and has a long way to go!), but....
In a perfect world, we'd have four kids. We can probably never afford that, but I'm going with the "ideal" here. So, if we could actually have four, and the first is coming soon after I turn 28, I'd like them to be 2 years apart so I could be done by 35 or 36.
-
We aren't 100% sure that we would like to have another at this point. My son is currently 2 years old. We said that we will wait until our son is 4 before we make our decision.
-
Between 2.5 and 3 years.
-
2.5 yrs!
-
2 years.
-
2-3 years so they can be close but enough alone time being the baby.
-
DH wanted about 2 years apart but I wanted closer to 3 years apart...not a huge difference but a part of me just wasn't ready to be pregnant and I just wanted to enjoy my time with LO. When she turned 2 I felt more ready. Our kids are going to be 3 years and 3 weeks apart which I'm happy about. She'll be potty trained for a full year by the time baby arrives and she is at an age where she can communicate/understand that she needs to be patient and "wait her turn"
-
I don't really know because I think it's so dependent on the individual children and you can't predict that!
We are going for a 2-3 year spacing (LO is 21 months now so at min 30 month spacing.) But we're basic that on our future family plans, not so much based on the young baby/toddler stage. Well, we base it on our current child but we have no idea what the next one might be like or how LO might react or just how she will be at that age compared to now, so I'm not sure how much help that is. I will say I sure am glad we didn't ttc at lo's first birthday like we talked about. Dd has been a handful lately and it would have been a little shock to the system to enter this stage, have some of our other stuff going on in life, and have a newborn all at the same time. But other people say their kids mellowed out around this age. Therefore I base it more on when we can handle the challenge!
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
41 comments