We are now 6 years into this parenting thing and the part of the day that I still hate hate hate, is getting the kids to wash up, brush teeth, and get dressed/into pajamas. Unless I coddle them the whole way through it leads to chaos of running with toothbrushes, screaming and all sorts of loud, undesirable behavior. And gently taking them by the hand and leading them through all the tasks doesn’t always guarantee smoothness either. My boys are 6 and 3 and I just did not expect we’d still be having the same issues for years.... please tell me it gets better, especially if you did something to make it better. Or tell me I’m not alone 
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DS1 is 7.5. Probably around 6 he started doing Jammie’s and teeth himself, we just check his teeth. The last month or so after we get the shower going he asks us to leave.
You are getting close!
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Getting dressed at 3, everything else 4-4.5. Totally depends on personality. DD1, at 4.5 I got her on track by making a checklist for getting ready for the day and getting ready for bed. It detailed everything down to socks and underwear. At 6.5 she’s past needing a whole chart, but is a huge space cadet so I have to check to make sure she remembers underwear for example. DD2 is 4, and she gets everything done (she doesn’t forget steps like DD1), but it takes forever because she wants things a certain way. So while she is accurate, I’m constantly having to tell her to hurry up.
I’d try the checklist! We actually printed one for every morning. I made it up and before DD1 could read well I just included pictures for each step.
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@JennyPenny: commiserating. DD is 4 and it is a constant struggle to do teeth and jammies every night. It's so hard not to lose patience.
I like @becky suggestion of a checklist. I'm going to try!
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Our kids have gone in fits and starts. They dressed themselves at 3 but now at 5 DS insists on my presence but not assistance.
DD is 7 and the drama has decreased significantly. We have to remind her about all her daily tasks but some does them fairly independently. We still brush her teeth because the dentist wants us to do it until she's 8. Kind of like getting dressed she used to insist on it but now if we ask her to do it she'll remind us the dentist told her not to.
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I think it's so kid specific. I remember telling friends that I thought a 3 year she gap was great because by that time the older kid can at least go potty and get themselves dressed on their own. Well, my younger kid still won't get herself dressed at 4.5, even though she's generally much more independent. 🤦♀️
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Definitely kid specific. Mine is 7 and I finally got her to shower on her own about 6 months ago (to the point where she now expects that she's doing it solo, not that I'm making her). She can brush, comb her hair and get dressed on her own but it's not happening automatically, I have to tell her when she gets up (especially right now when there's no timeline to get ready on for school). It's thankfully not dramatic anymore but she does still need to be prompted.
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My daughter just turned 5 and it's a bit hit or miss. She can dress herself in the morning for the most part, unless there's buttons. She brushes her teeth independently. She still needs help washing her hair. She will brush her hair, but I have to do it myself if I want her to look presentable outside our house.
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Commiserating here too. Last night DD (4) put on her jammies all by herself without being told, and I was so proud. I don't expect it to last lol I still have to push push push for her to do anything, and usually end up doing it for her in the end because I don't have time to wait for her to decide to do it (like, getting dressed in the morning or putting on her shoes, etc).
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I responded yesterday and then this morning my 7yo got herself up, dressed, brushed her hair and made us breakfast in bed before school. Like I said, fits and starts.
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@Corduroy: woah! That’s the dream right there!
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The things that have helped is making getting ready a race (in the morning) and providing a reward for a smooth bedtime. The 4 and 7 year old will usually dress themselves without a reminder because they want to win the race. The reward is a new book. I used to do penalties, but the reward works so much better. I have also done an extra book or extra song as a reward. I get a whole stack of library books from the library from curbside pickup.
I supervise teeth brushing to ensure a good brushing. I also supervise baths for safety, totally wash my 4 year old, although he is practicing, rinse hair of my 7 year old. My 7 year old has been able to shower by himself for a while, but the 4 year old needs help, so it just as easy to do them together. -
It's because there's two of them! If I'm putting one kid to bed, even the 1.5 year old can get through teeth brushing and bath relatively quickly. But if they're in the same bathroom, even the seven year old can't behave. I end up kicking someone out to wait outside. It's gotten a little better now (the older two are 7.5 and 5) but some days bedtime is still a mess.
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@Mama Bird: I think you’re right on this! I had the 3yo and baby for a week during a COVID isolation and it was so much easier. The 2 big kids definitely feed on one another. We’ve been doing washing up/changing immediately after meals so they’re almost always doing it at the same time but I wonder if we can stagger somehow 🤔
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Mine just started and will be 8 in November. This particular part of parenting drives me nuts.
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Sooooo annoying. And now with the masks
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Morning checklist with a 10 min screentime reward has worked well and lets us get ready in peace. But mostly we have to harass him to do basic stuff and it depletes me
I told my son he can't go to school unless he starts wiping his own butt and putting on his mask 🤷 he's almost 5! -
My son will be 5 tomorrow, very bright but recently diagnosed with high functioning autism. He does nothing independently, basically, and usually fights me on most of it. We're working on it with his OT. Sighhhhh
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@JennyPenny: I feel you on this. Brushing hair and teeth is a constant battle for my 3 year old. I am a broken record of "this is part of grooming and we do it every day. This is not optional."
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My oldest is 5.5 and I would say 90% is pretty good about this stuff. I think it's personality too! I can't see my middle child being this responsible at this age
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@MrsADS: can you describe him? I sometimes feel like my son is super high functioning autistic (as my mom said....."aren't we all?!")
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We gave our 6 year old his first “chores” last week, which is setting the table for dinner. We showed him how the first night and he has done it happily and we’ll every night since! Now why oh why can we not have this with brushing teeth and getting dressed!!
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@pachamama I'll wall you.
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