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I'm really struggling with this. On one hand, my hubs and I really value our privacy and we both say we plan not to tell anyone for as long as possible (until it's not longer deniable, basically). On the other hand, 12+ weeks is a long time to not talk to anyone about it--even my mother, who'll tell my father, and then that makes it unfair that my in-laws don't know, etc etc... I am curious to know how people make the choice. If you waited to tell people, does that mean EVERYONE? Or did you still tell your mom, or a friend, etc?

First pregnancy (which ended in an early miscarriage) we told our families right away and I told a few of my close girlfriends. In the end, I wanted them for support when I had the miscarriage so it was nice that they already knew.

This time (am currently 4.5 weeks) we did the same thing, except my husband waited for the results of my repeat HCG blood test before telling his mother. Same reasons - if something happens *knocks wood* I'll want to lean on my family and close friends for support.

We waited until 20 weeks because it was nobody's business and we were nervous about miscarriage. I was also worried about work drama!

@Nodakademic- You totally get it! I wish you luck in keeping it secret! And it was nice to get that reprieve from advice and critique.

With our first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage we didn't tell anyone until after the fact and that was hard. Going back to tell them we lost the baby and sadly since no one knew our family and close friends just weren't as comforting since they hadn't had the excitement building up that we had experienced. With our second pregnancy we told everyone almost immediately, sadly we lost our 2nd baby as well, but at least we had much more support that time around since people had been excited with us!

Having gone through both scenarios...our 3rd time around we told my parents face to face while they were visiting. We put our pups in shirts that said Big Brother/Big Sister and video taped it - its hilarious because my dad totally didn't get it. My parents were visiting 5 days before our first ultrasound at 6 weeks to make sure baby was doing ok so they knew before we even knew for sure things were alright. With the rest of the family and our friends we waited until that 1st ultrasound to make sure baby was there and things looked good. When the RE found baby's heartbeat flickering away and told us that took our miscarriage rate down to 5% we called our family (we're in KY, they're in VA) to share the news. With our siblings and close friends we texted a picture of the ultrasound saying "Hi Auntie/Uncle".

I finally came out on Fb once I hit the second trimester and came out on my blog around 10 weeks.

We found out at 4 1/2 weeks, told parents at 6 weeks, and told everybody else before 8 weeks, and miscarried at 10 weeks. It was hard to tell people about our loss, but having the support was awesome. I imagine that when we get our BFP again, we'll probably tell parents within a few weeks (I'm diabetic and have to make a lot of adjustments with eating and testing, so if we're around them, they'll notice), friends after that. I doubt we'd be able to make it to the second trimester without telling people. I imagine we won't put it on facebook as quickly though.

We told our close friends at 9 weeks and our parents at 13 weeks. We see our friends more and they knew something was up when I was tired and sickly all the time. Now I'm 6 months along and everyone's healthy!

@stephbwill - I love the shirts for the dogs, that's hilarious. I also find it amusing that your dad didn't get it. My parents would probably be clueless, as well but that's a great way to announce it!

I have had a few friends who have told everyone and their long lost sisters at 4 weeks and then lost the baby, so it makes me cringe thinking of telling people before 12 weeks. I have a few very close friends who know that we are trying and who are very good secret keepers. They are also out of state, so they won't be hanging out with other friends who they could gossip to. They have told me to feel free to tell them as soon as I want and they will be there for me through whatever happens. I like that idea b/c they can be there for me as I struggle to not tell my Mom who I'm SUPER close with until 12 weeks. Once Mom knows, the world will know.

I will probably tell my boss at 12 weeks. He needs to know because I travel for my job and manage a department. I will let everyone else at our small office figure it out on their own.