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We have one set of each actually! Both have pros and cons and I'm glad we have both in our lives.

Super tough call! If forced I would chose hands-off.

We've got involved, borderline overbearing on my side, while my in-laws are so hands-off and disinterested, it's depressing. I much prefer overbearing. I don't mind telling my mom to kindly put a sock in it, but she adores DD, which makes me so happy.

I chose overbearing grandparents. Our's aren't really extreme but they are very involved, they babysit a few days a week and they do give their opinions. My son's life is so full of people who love him and guide him that I really can't imagine it any other way. I get defensive from time to time but the bottom line is how good they all are to him.

Hands off! Even your description of overbearing is making me feel claustrophobic

I feel like both our parents would be overbearing, so I'm thankful they live 1000 & 3000 miles away and don't get the chance.

Ours are all hands off and that is what I prefer! If you refuse to babysit DS then you don't get a say in how he is raised.

We have a set of each and I prefer overbearing!

Overbearing! My MIL is like that a bit and I can hold my own if we argue. We've both learned to respect each other. On the bright side she likes to see the kids often and I think she'd watch them if her age allowed. My mom is very hands off and I wish she wasn't.

I would choose overbearing any day!!!

Tough call. Overbearing if it's my parents, hands off for MIL! But it's more the opposite since she's in town and pretty much retired and my parents are out of town and working.

Overbearing.

DH's mom is very hands off and it really hurts me. She puts zero effort forth in seeing her grandkids and she only lives a couple blocks away.

Overbearing. My ILs are overbearing and the kids ADORE them. My parents are more hands off and the kids like seeing them, but there's not the same level of love.

Hands off! My inlaws are overbearing and so desperate to see him, it's a lot of pressure. I can't stand it. (Fortunately no unsolicited advice though).
I'm an introvert so your description of overbearing makes me feel panicky. (Just like my inlaws).

My parents are the perfect blend. They love him so much and if we offer to visit or fly them out they jump at the chance. But they never hound us for visits or pictures or updates. They know we have lives and are pretty patient - they know we'll reach out when it's a good time.

I love my over-bearing MIL, she definitly is there when you need her.

@SweetiePie: I'm an introvert, too, and reading the description of an overbearing parents is so stressful. I would prefer to have absent grandparents than a grand parents that are always questioning, undermining and arguing with the parents. My twins are well loved by us, aunts, uncles and friends (and of course my inlaws and parents from afar).

I did also grow up without both sets of grandparents. One was across the world and never met my grandmother until I was 30.

Oh, I'll also add that we are across the country from both families.

Family is great but it's not required.

My mother-in-law is borderline overbearing and it can really be a sore spot sometimes. My mom is the perfect balance, but I think that's because she's just my mom. That said, I'd rather slightly overbearing grandparents than grandparents that don't seem to care at all.

Overbearing! for the sake of my babies. Even though, my patience would run out quick; I want their grandparents to be an active part of their lives!

Overbearing!

Both of ours are neither and are a good blend so I'm thankful. My parents live closer and could be a tad bit overbearing but I don't let it get to me when advice is given. my LOs have great relationship with my parents and the love they receive is incomparable. I can always count on them for anything. Inlaws are in another country so the situation is a little diff.

I have a friend whose Inlaws live 15 min away and are so hands off that she gets really hurt. She has to force them to come see her children and even when she asks for help, the Inlaws act like its the biggest inconvenience in the world. For example, one of her children fell, needed stitches, and she has to rush to emergency room. She called her mil to watch her other kids bc husband was out of town. Mil told her no bc she had a tennis match.

I have a set of each and would vastly prefer the overbearing set. Granted, they are my parents so I'm probably biased. But it sucks to know that DHs parents don't give a flying f*ck about our life and DS. Super depressing.

Overbearing. I like the advice (you never know when it will help) and love that LO will know his grandparents. An extra set of hands is always helpful.