Would you be okay with a friend using the same first name for their LO?
Does there have to be a time period before it's okay to reuse the name? Like a year apart or a couple months? Never?
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I would secretly be upset but I would get over it fast. People can name their kids whatever they want!
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I would definitely be annoyed but what can i do about it? Maybe suggest they use an alternate spelling.
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Nope.... I personally wouldn't name our child the same name of a friend/family members child so I expect the same.... Why would you even want to is what I don't get?!
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I obviously can't control and have no say in what my friends name their children...but LO doesn't have a common name so if they were to name their child the same name I would definitely be bothered.
If LO had a common name, like Sophia or Emily, I probably wouldn't be as bothered. But in my situation, I feel like it would be Kelly Rowland naming her first born Blue Ivy. Now everybody knows that's copying!
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LO's name isn't in the top 1000 so I imagine I'd be pretty irked unless it was a family name or something. But I wouldn't say anything and I'm sure I'd get over it quickly.
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A friend and I are pregnant right now and she is due a week before me, with a girl. I shared our girl name with her and she loved it, I decided right then that she could use it. Why not? If they end up being friends when they are older they will figure it out, or think it is awesome. I knew a few girls that had my name growing up, didn't make me like them any less.
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It would be unusual for people to choose the names we chose, but I'm sure they would have a strong (maybe family) reason for copying us. Otherwise I'd be slightly flattered and slightly annoyed.
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I didn't vote because it depends on how close the friend is to me. I would be upset by a close friend doing that but it wouldn't bother me as much if an acquaintance did it.
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If it was a really close friend I would be upset. These are friends I've grown up with, we've talked about baby names with, etc., they are practically family.
If it was anyone else I wouldn't really care. -
It would be odd if someone chose the name we did because it's not common and for that reason I would assume that if it's someone who knows us fairly well, that they "got the name" from us... It might be unfair thinking, but I'd probably be okay with some friends (like HB friends!) using the names, but not others (friends I normally see/family).
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I feel like there is a friend code about using your baby name. I have loved a certain girl name my whole life and my friends knew it. When one got pregnant before me with a girl and listed it on her top 3 options I was really upset. Luckily they chose another name but I couldn't have stopped it if she hadn't. I just would at least take other names and friends into consideration before choosing my baby's name.
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If its a close friend then no, I would not be okay with it. If its someone who I don't really hang out with I wouldn't care.
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I honestly don't understand why people DO care. I don't own rights to the name. It isn't a super common name but maybe they realized how awesome it is when we named our kid that. We fell in love with it for a reason, how can we expect other people not to?
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@Navy_Mommy: I think I got spoiled since I'm the only "me" . lol
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If I knew for sure that a friend named their child the same name as mine because they were "copying" me, I would be slightly annoyed but I'd get over it. Otherwise, I don't think I would have any special claim over a name just because my LO was born first. What if the friend had always just liked the same name coincidentally? If you love a name, then you should be able to use it. This would work vice versa, too -- if a friend used one of the names we loved most, I'd probably still use it.
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@runsyellowlites: I was born in 88 and my name is Amanda... I'venever been bothered by other people sharing my name and there are LOTS of mid-20s Amandas out there!
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@Navy_Mommy: Yea... my mom seriously ruined me for names, and I grew very fond of being the only one. I actually used to tell people if they ever met another one then to "let me know *wink wink* b/c I liked being the only one" lol.
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I think I would think it was a little weird but get over it. We aren't picking really unusual names, so chances are they just liked the name anyway. And really, a name is a life long thing, where there are people I'm friends with now who I won't be surprised if we aren't in touch with in 20 years, where their LO will still have that name forever. If they love a name that we loved enough to use, so be it.
My friend was due with her first baby 3 weeks before me and neither of us were telling our name choices so we did joke about what would we do if we were thinking of the same ones, but we both pretty much said, meh. She had the baby and I love his name but it wasn't in our top picks
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I would think it was weird...but it wouldn't bother me.
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@Navy_Mommy: @runsyellowlites: My name isn't as popular as Amanda in the 80s, but it was very common and I usually had at least one other person with my name in my class, so I guess that colors my view too. Like the name Amanda, you can pretty much guess how old I am based only on my name!
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I would feel bad and petty about it but it would bother me a bit and I'd prefer they ind their own name unless it was someone I only knew very casually. Then that's kind of flattering.
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I probably would have been annoyed before DH and I began the task of trying to pick names ourselves. It is hard enough to agree on a name between the two of us but if we were to start eliminating names that our coworkers, friends and extensive family tree had already used we would never name the poor guy! We have had a name picked out for about four years and to date it is still the only one we both really like and agree on. About a year ago my cousin had a baby and named him something very similar. I know we will risk a great deal of judgement by naming our kid what we had originally picked out but at the same time I hate to give up a name we loved long before they had their kiddo. It's a tough balance!
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I wouldn't be bothered by this. I have a really common name and shared it with others my whole life and I still don't think its a big deal. I'd be flattered more than anything.
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If it was a BFF type friend, then I think I might be a little weirded out, but people can name their kids whatever they want.
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We're in sort of the opposite situation. DH and I had a nearly impossible task in finding names that work in both his first language and English, so we've had our future kids' names picked out for years now. Some friends of ours recently had a little boy and named him something very close to our boy's name (spelled differently and pronounced slightly differently, but still very similar overall). There's no way we're changing our minds about using that name if we have a boy, but I hope they don't mind...
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I don't mind whatsoever. people can name their child whatever they want!
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My good friend from college lives in another state. She found out her 2nd is a girl right after R was born. R's name was her husbands favorite name and R's middle name is her moms name. So it really was the perfect name. I told her I would fine with them using it but she said that she came up with something else. She is due any day and I can't wait to hear what they came up with.
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My neighbor recently informed me that she liked my daughter's not very common name for her second child. I'm less than thrilled, but what can I do? At least it sounds like, for the moment, her husband has vetoed the name!
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Ok, so here is my situation. You guys know we have dealt with infertility for 15 months now. We had this name picked out a few months after TTC. My very close friend is team green and she has two names picked out. Her girl name is the number 1 name we want. My friend is due any day now and I'm just bracing myself on whatever happens. I thought that maybe we wouldn't want the use that girl name if she uses it. Well I asked the DH and he still wants to use the name. So now I'm stuck. If and when it happens, I do feel close enough to my friend to ask her if we could use the name. I would hope she understands because she knows we have been TTC for so long. Also, we aren't TTC at this moment (taking a break), so our LOs will be at least a year or more apart. I guess that's why I think she might be okay with it. It's not a popular name but it's not a very unique name. Ok, since it's HB... the name is Lana. I have a feeling that our husbands picked the name for the same reasons. The name Lana has a connection to Superman and both our husbands are into comics. I actually love names starting with L. Lara was my favorite name but DH liked Lana instead. After months of TTC, Lana was 'the' name. We do have a secondary name as a backup, too.
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@bluestriped bee: I think is okto use it. But I would be careful how you word things if you talk to her. I wouldn't really ask for permission to use the name but more just state the fact that you are thinking of using it.
My lo and her cousin have very similar unique names but they are ten years part.
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@T.H.O.U.: Oh, yeah? You don't think I should ask her? Her pregnancy was a surprise and I know emotionally she's having trouble dealing with the change so that's why I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it.
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I would be annoyed if it was someone who I would see a lot, especially if our kids were close together in age. I don't think I would care as much if our kids were 4 or 5 years apart or if we rarely saw each other.
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It would depend on why they chose it. If they'd had it selected for a while or a family name I wouldn't care. If it was literally copying I'd be annoyed but still wouldn't make a scene over it. I have a family name (my late grandmother who I was close with) that is not popular but not uncommon. If a friend chose that name and had their LO first, I wouldn't change it. I've had it picked out for years and its special to me. I'd probably exclaim when I heard it "what a pretty name! That was my grandmas name and what we are going to use too!" Just so they knew why.
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@bluestriped bee: no I really would not ask. Like you've seen here you do not need permission from anyone. Plus I've heard too many stories where people phrase it as a question, then the other person says no, but then they still want to use the name. Then you are stuck
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I voted no, but I actually named my daughter the same name as my cousins daughter. I didn't know until it was too late. The daughter is in heaven. =(
Ultimately, I wouldn't care, it's up to them what they name their kids, but I'd prefer them not to.
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@T.H.O.U.: Yeah, good point.
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@bluestriped bee: I think you are in a unique situation. U guys picked the name before your friend announced it to u. i personally wouldn't use it, but I think it's alright to. I would tell the friend we've had it on the short list because u are good friends, but that's really up to u. I think it might have been easier if u mentioned it as soon as she did, but too late for that so... I wouldn't worry about it.
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@tequiero21: Yeah, I decided to wait. I figure it's kinda a non-issue if she ends up having a boy. Plus, I didn't want her to feel bad for choosing that name. I would certainly feel horrible if she changed the name because of me. I figure it's easier for me to deal with my emotion and just to wait it out.
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@bluestriped bee: fx that its a BOY!!!
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