Say you had a baby shower. Your MIL and 3 SIL's were there. Two SIL's gave gifts. The MIL and other SIL did not. Do you find that weird that you didn't even get a card from the other relatives with no mention of anything else to come?
(This happened recently to a friend of mine, I'm curious about other's thoughts on it).
grapefruit / 4278 posts
I find that really strange. I can understand, I guess, if they didn't have money for a present, but not to even give a card at a shower?
coconut / 8430 posts
I know that it isn't a requirement to give gifts at weddings or showers, but I find it kind of strange.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I think it's weird, unless they planned to do something after the birth?
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I would find that strange if all the SILs were MIL's daughters. Otherwise, I would chalk something like that up to people coming from a different gift giving background. Or if said SIL or MIL were not financially well off to give a gift that would be perfectly fine letting their presence be their present.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I think it's very strange, to me the point of a shower is to give gifts, if you are unable then 1) don't attend or 2) at least bring a card with well wishes.
pineapple / 12793 posts
Happened to me. Thought it was weird.
I try to not apply normal behavioural expectations to MIL though. Keeps me from getting disappointed.
grapefruit / 4006 posts
Is the sil younger? I dont think i got my sil a gift for her baby shower when i was in college. My mom didnt bring her gift to the shower, she had it mailed to her.
Could it be a cultural difference?
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@mediagirl: Did the MIL & SIL host the baby shower and maybe they thought their gift was the shower? Baby showers are and can be expensive, so I can see that.
If they didn't host the shower... I don't know. Maybe the contributed to a group gift?
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@bluestriped bee: they didn't host it. There were no group gifts! So weird...
pomegranate / 3872 posts
I would for sure think it was weird and be hurt if it were my MIL and SIL. The only other possible explanation could be that they're going to get something closer to or after the baby is born.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Now that I think about it and think about what she has told me about her MIL....I have a feeling she probably thinks she can afford to buy everything herself and probably didn't feel the need to buy her anything. And that's sad. You give gifts because you love someone, not because they can/cannot afford to buy it themselves.
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
My MIL never gives gifts until after the baby is born,she thinks it's bad luck.
pomelo / 5129 posts
I would give them the benefit of the doubt and figure either they ordered something and it was arriving late, or they were planning something bigger later.
grapefruit / 4649 posts
I would find it weird too. My mil gave us a relatively small gift at my shower despite usually giving large gifts at other events including for housewarming so I thought it was really odd. Turns out she didn't want to make a scene and sent us a stroller a few weeks later.
I also had an aunt who just never sent anything after saying she was going to fly in for the shower and telling my mom what she planned to buy so I guess sometimes people just get busy?
coconut / 8279 posts
My MIL didn't give me gifts at any of my showers, bridal or baby.
(She didn't host/help plan. Just a guest.)
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@mediagirl: That is sad. Granted, I know people who have money and they have everything so sometimes it's hard to shop for them. But this is different. A card or something small could go a long way in this case.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
Not all my sisters gave a gift at my shower, we all get along and they're hands on aunts.
honeydew / 7622 posts
Eh, I'd assume something was coming in the mail or after the baby arrives.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
I would think it was weird if any guest showed up to a shower giftless. Especially an immediate family member assuming they are at least in their 20's
pineapple / 12802 posts
Hm. I was thinking relative like... aunt or second cousin or great grandma, and then I would just shrug and move on. Whateves.
But the MIL and SIL's? That does seem a little strange.
pomelo / 5469 posts
Baby showers are not super common over here so I would just assume they are going to give something after the baby is here, or maybe not...haha!
cherry / 106 posts
I'm asian so I don't expect a gift. If you give one, fine, if you don't it's okay too. I consider it as an event as bringing family together.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
My relatives didn't gift us until after LO 1 was born. My mom bought us a car seat early but she was really nervous about it.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Weird.
My mil threw my bridal shower and one of my baby showers and still gifted us big ticket items. Def weird in my book.
pineapple / 12566 posts
I think it depends. Some people might have felt more like it was a family gathering and didn't feel like a gift was necessay? Or maybe they are waiting for the birth?
I think in general I try to keep low expectations for things like that so as not to be disappointed.
honeydew / 7968 posts
I would think it's weird in general, but expected from my mil. They gave us a big check, but I think it's because they saw everyone giving us gifts. They never got my hubby and his bro gifts, birthdays, xmas, etc. they haven't given my kids any gifts, except occasionally they will buy clothes out of nowhere, but not for any particular reason. They are SO weird. So no birthday or xmas gifts for their only grandchildren, but randomly, they buy some clothes.
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
Considering the only thing my husband's mom has given my baby was a check that bounced, I would be expecting it. It sucks, but inlaws suck.
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