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I did, my anxiety was at its peak when I was staying at home. At one point, my husband came home and was like "umm, you need to go back to work."

I took a total of 2 years off and and now in my third year back. Everyone is much happier. It's got nothing to do with the money and everything to do with my sense of self.

I also don't think I'd be a great stay at home mom. I'm not at all creative, so LO is getting far more from being in day care than he is if I were to stay at home with him.

Don't feel bad if being a SAHM isn't for you. It's an insanely tough job and not everyone is suited for it. There's a reason why I work and don't SAH .

Last night I got my hair done and DH was alone with DS for most of the evening. He was fried by the time I came home - dinner and bath time with a toddler on your own is pretty exhausting. I had the thought that around 3 hours alone with DS is pretty much the max for both of us. I don't think we're bad parents, and DS is a pretty good kid. But solo parenting takes exponential amounts of energy and patience than doing with your parents needs.

i PT WAH, but i was a terrible employee for myself and a terrible SAHM the other part of the time last year when i didn't have child care. now that i have 2 days set aside, i feel like a much better mom and worker. sometimes i think i would like to go back to a more regular schedule, but my DH's schedule isn't a 9-5 at all, so i need a flexible schedule as well. we'll keep doing this until it doesn't work anymore. but i also agree, i was a terrible SAHM and i don't think i'm cut out for it FT for the long term!

I think I'd be a terrible SAHM, especially for a toddler. I'm just not creative enough and we'd get stuck in a rut doing the same things over and over again. I don't think my kids would learn nearly as much from me as they do in daycare. Plus I enjoy not having to deal with tantrums or blowouts all day.

I think I could enjoy it, but I wouldn't be someone who stayed at home even when my kids were in school. I was a SAHW for nine months and that was awful, but I was in nowhere Kentucky. With a child, I think it would be okay.

I do enjoy working and bringing in a paycheck, but I think I'd enjoy SAH life too.

@avivoca: I always tell DH that I want to be a SAHW - send the kids to DCP and then I come home ... alone

I think as with anything else, there are days when I struggle with it, and days when I feel like I have it totally under control. I doubt anyone feels 100% like a rockstar every day, regardless of what they are doing, whether it be SAH or working outside the home. If anything, I think parenting lends itself to that "oh shit, I actually don't know what I'm doing/don't know if I'm doing this right!" mentality, and when you're a SAHM, you deal with that every day. So feeling/wondering if you are inadequate is just part of the gig.

I also think that there is a huge sense of pressure to be a certain "kind" of SAHM--one who does crafts daily, teaches their kid another language, does flash cards and projects, etc. That is all great, but not really necessary IMO.

Yes. I have days where I really, really struggle...I'm either not cleaning enough, not taking care of myself/my body or not entertaining LO's as much as I should. And I'm always burnt out. I often dream about working and finding "me" again.

I was actually going to start a thread about this...reading some of these responses makes me feel better!

@looch: ooh interesting. I can't stand staying in, the kids trashing the house, following them around cleaning up, and fielding the meltdowns and tantrums. They seem much better behaved (mainly my 19 month old) when we are out, they are stimulated, and have social interaction.

Being a full time SAHM is not for me. I'm happier and a better mom when i work, but I do feel guilty for it sometimes. Part time is definitely ideal for me and our family!

I usually feel like I'm doing a decent job of it, but I cut myself a lot of slack, too (too much slack maybe? My house is a mess...)

There are times when I feel like I'm doing a terrible job though, like when I'm yelling at my toddler for being a toddler, pretty much. But those days are fewer than the good ones overall.

@Rainbow Sprinkles: I am the same way, we need to get out. The days we stay in more you can totally tell, all the toys are out, dishes everywhere... Summer is so much better because we can just walk down the street to the playground, usually there are other kids and adults there, and no mess to clean up besides her hands.

I did have a babysitter come for a day while I went to a wedding and I realized how much better of a mom I was when I got home. I had more patience and I missed her and she was fine. I think going to work for something like one day a week would be really good for me, but I like the flexibility we have now.

@HLK208: this. It's like my brain is too overwhelmed to delve into anything more than the basics...especially now that I have more than one kid. DH can keep them both for a couple of hours and get more done than I can in a whole day. I work ALL. DAY. LONG. and I still can't seem to stay on top of it!

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing a bad job, but mostly then I realize I need to adjust my expectations. Mostly for me it happens around the house being a mess or me not cooking dinner. I keep my kid alive and fed, get myself showered, and am (mostly) happy doing it. I think thats all I really HAVE to do. Generally I keep the house clean and get the shopping done and make us food. If we have a rough day (or week) and the house is a mess and dinner doesn't get made... I try not to beat myself up about it.

I SAH for 19 months, and I really wasn't cut out for it. And D works second shift, so some nights he doesn't get home until midnight or later, and rarely before 9. It was just me and E, all the time, and I think we both suffered for it. I felt like I never got a break, and I was resentful of D (and to an extent, E) for it.

I am significantly happier WOH, and I think E is thriving so much more in his daycare than he was with me. I love my child to pieces, and I think I'm a good mom, but I think the best thing I've ever done for him is go back to work and send him to daycare. He's happy and thriving. I'm happy and thriving.

I think I would like being a SAHM and would be decent at it, but with some major caveats--I would want a house cleaner and the $$ to take LO to a couple of classes or maybe preschool twice a week. And DHs idea of a SAHM is the 50's ideal of the mom sewing, home baking/cooking everything, doing all the child care, doing all the cleaning--basically his mom growing up.

Our expectations of the SAHM role are so different, I think it's better for my marriage that I work--because when I work, he automatically does 50% of everything at home and we just don't have stress or resentment in that area.

I was at home until LO was 10 mo old and it was hard! I was so much happier, which made me a better more engaged mom when I came back.

SAHP is really hard. Not sure what else to say!

Well I generally think I do a fairly good job, but we all have our days. We spend most of our time out of the house. We do music class, library story time, gymnastics, swimming, museums, parks, play dates, etc. She wouldn't be able to do all of this if she was in daycare (at least not to the same extent). I sometimes think I should be doing more structured activities, but she will start preschool at 2 yrs, 9 mo. She's happy and has lots of social interactions, so I try to give myself a break.

Just popped online to look for jobs in my new city because staying at home is making me a little crazy. My baby is still pretty young, so I'd like to stay home with him a little longer, but doing two kids by myself all day every day is taking its toll. Before I had my second and we moved to a new state, I had a great setup where I worked 2 days/week. It was awesome--I felt energized on the days I was home with my son, and he got the interaction and instruction aspect of daycare two days a week. I'd really like to get back to that setup, but with two kids and in a whole new city it is going to be tough.