My mom keeps telling me that she hopes my baby is a boy. That makes me feel like she is going to be disappointed if I have another girl so I wish she would stop mentioning it. Do you have family members that are vocal about what gender they want your baby to be?
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Only a couple were vocal about it . . .
DH is the youngest boy on his side of the family. So far, all of the grandchildren have been girls! When we found out we were having a girl, a couple of his relatives responded by saying "we thought you and DH would be the ones to give us a boy." I just blew them off, because I didn't want anyone to rain on my baby girl parade!
And although my mom was thrilled to find out we were having a girl, there have been plenty of comments and way too much pressure about other parts of my pregnancy and postpartum plans. It is really frustrating and draining when that kind of pressure/input comes from someone you're close to.
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Ever since I started dating my husband, his mother said I had to give her a granddaughter. Sure enough BIL had a boy and since then, she literally has said it every time I've been around her. She even said to me once that she'd be happy with a boy but happier with a girl. This baby IS a girl....but honestly, I was so annoyed with it. I almost wanted a boy just to spite her - but was worried she wouldn't care about a boy as much
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My mom often comments that she feels strongly that the baby IS a girl. But I know she will be thrilled with this baby no matter what gender it is. My in laws haven't said anything one way or the other, but if I had to guess I would think they are hoping for a boy since hubs is the golden boy in his family and I'm sure they would love another boy to dote on.
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I think my family was all hoping for a boy (all girls so far) but were still very excited when we announced it was a girl. My dad was the only immediate family who guessed Girl, he said it is what his daughters do best, so he wasn't sad at all he doesn't have a grandson yet! But I would love to give him one, so hopefully next round!
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Everyone thought baby 2 was gonna be a girl, but all were happy when they found out we were having a boy.
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People kept referring to my baby as a boy, and I kept telling them its a girl and they would still say oh you never know. Personally I think family should keep their gender preferences to themselves.
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Yes, there aren't many girls on DH's side so they made their preference very clear. My MIL said she would give us a $1000 bonus if the baby was a girl...
My parents also had a preference for a girl but they didn't talk about it as much!
LO was a girl and everyone was happy. Oh, not like I wanted or expected it but we never got that $1000 bonus! Lol! Can't wait to go through this for future LOs...everyone wants a boy! -
DH's family started with this before we were even married! we had to wear blue on our wedding day also because it was supposed to bring us a boy. in his culture, i've been told, it's traditional to only have a big naming ceremony if the baby is a boy.... umm NO! whatever baby we are fortunate enough to conceive & carry will be celebrated, boy or girl!
maybe your MIL just has a picture in her head of a boy baby, i'm sure she'll be over the moon either way! once they see that perfect lil baby, it won't matter what the gender is =)
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@Andrea: bummer
Asians!I love how my relatives (when they found out LO was a girl) would say "oh it's OK that it's a girl. Boy and girl are the same nowadays".
Um, thanks. I know it's all the same. The fact that you said "its OK" means you don't think it is. But I really don't care what you think!
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@autumnlove: haha you should have told her it costs much more than $1000 to guarantee gender!
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@regberadaisy: I got a few, "Oh, girls are good too!" not from family but from other folks and especially when #2 was a girl. Little did they know that we were secretly hoping for a second girl!
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only my youngest sister - but she's 7. hahaha. She has two nephews and keeps saying, "When am I going to get a NIECE?!!" She's so funny.
Sorry about the pressure
I wouldn't like that either.
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@autumnlove: hahaha you totally should have collected on that, "K mom, pay up."
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I had the first on my side of the family so they didn't care either way. But I could tell my mom was extra excited that we were having a girl.... although she would have never said it until after we already announced the gender.
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Definitely! When you're on team green, everyone seems to come out with a preference eventually. My mom is craving a little girl because she has a wild, dirty, tractor-loving grandson. She always refers to my baby as her granddaughter. But she's a complete baby addict, so she'll be happy with anything!
Other family members have their preferences too, but no one prefers one sex to the point of dissatisfaction with the other. I don't take it personally because I realize how unique every child is, regardless of sex.
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@autumnlove: dude, it is time to collect!!
@regberadaisy: yeah, exactly...saying stuff like that doesn't exactly show happiness/excitement. My friend's family kept asking him if the gender scan was accurate after they found out the baby was a girl since a boy was preferable (Chinese).
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Oh my family was like that. But honestly no matter the outcome they were happy. We had a preference as well. So really it was nothing I really paid much attention too.
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@Mrs. Jacks: We got a lot of "Oh you must be so glad you got a boy!" comments when we had DS. Actually, we would have been genuinely happy either way. In fact, if anything, I was nervous to have a boy and would have been very satisfied with another girl!
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When I was pregnant and before we knew we were having a girl, I kept saying I felt like I was having a boy but everyone else hoped for a girl! And then when it was confirmed that I WAS having a girl, they all said something along the lines of, "I'm so glad!"...It made me feel like if I had a boy they would be less than thrilled.
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I think the first time around my side was hoping for a girl but they weren't too vocal about it. This time everyone wants a girl. We'll see...
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Everyone on both sides was very very very vocal. DH comes from a family of all boys…there hasn’t been a girl born into their family in a few generations. Even before we were married they’ve all said that they hope we’re the ones who FINALLY have a girl. When we found out our baby is a boy we got a lot of masked disappointment and, honestly, I still really struggle with it. I’m thrilled to be having a boy and so is DH (it’s what he wanted all along) but we get a lot of “It’s okay- there’s always a chance it’ll be a girl next time!” It seems to minimize the excitement for our son. My SIL is 13 weeks pregnant now and already has 2 boys. I’m kind of nervous that if she finds out she’s having THE girl it’ll take away even more excitement about our baby. =/
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No one has been too vocal about their preferences, if they have any, but my Mom has been somewhat vocal about the fact that she wishes we would find out before the baby arrives. I think that has to do with the fact that she's a big knitter and wishes she had a better color idea with which to work.
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Like @Running Elley: there hasn't been a girl born into DH's family in several generations (75 years), and DH and I are the last chance to get a girl for this generation, so all of his family is really really hoping McBebe is a girl. That said, they're used to boys, and will be thrilled with another one...they would just be over the moon if it's a girl.
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@regberadaisy: I got the same reaction from my mom... "Oh, that's ok!" when I told her we were having a girl.
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@Running Elley: that is some extra pressure with the SIL being preggo, too. you'll have to update us when she finds out the gender!
@FutureMrsMcK: 75 years, wow! That is understandable to want a girl then but I'm glad that they'll be happy with another boy, too.
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@Andrea: Yeah...my MIL has told me more than once that she'd love a granddaughter, but that she's so used to little boys that she's not sure she'd know what to do with one.
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that's so annoying. i'm sorry to hear that, but i totally know how you feel. no one would vocally say anything but I was secretly happy that my firstborn was a boy because now I don't feel like I have so much pressure when baby #2 comes.
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@FutureMrsMcK: sounds like she would be happy, but scared to have a granddaughter!
Asians!Reply
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