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@Honeydew: I hope your next scan shows things have improved!
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@theotherstark: Soooo many appointments
11/8 - OB
11/13 - midwife + glucose test
11/27 - growth scanAlso sorry you are still sick! That sucks!!!
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Nursing bra recommendations? Also pumping bras?
Is it too early to start ordering these online to try them on? I feel like it might take a while to figure out what fits. But do your boobs get significantly bigger once they have milk? My boobs have barely grown during this pregnancy (they're huge already) and I've been able to get by with just my comfiest bra.
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@dominobee: Mine definitely got bigger when my milk came in, so I would say hold off on ordering anything you can't return.
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@LadyDi: Ok, thanks. Do you have any brands you like?
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@dominobee: I got Bravado body silk nursing bras when I was pregnant with Virginia once I got too big for my underwire bras. They're somewhat flexible size wise, and I didn't want to have to keep buying bigger and bigger regular bras. I went from a DD to about a G, and the XL fit the whole time (even when my milk came in).
They're a little expensive, but I'm still wearing them. I got just one to test out the size, then got a two pack once I had a good idea what size I needed (I hate returning things).
They aren't super supportive (but what bra is going to be when you're an F/G and can't stand underwires anymore?). They're very comfortable though. I've even slept in them.
ETA: I ordered them off Amazon.
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@MaryM: I could give a shit about supportive when I'm nursing two babies in the dead of winter, haha! I don't plan on entertaining or going out in public much. Thanks for the recommendations.
Follow-up question for everybody - when does the milk come in?
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@dominobee: I think I just ended up ordering them from target or amazon. They are fine, but nothing that really wowed me. My milk came in shortly after I came home from the hospital....4 days or so?
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@dominobee: second the bravado bras. I have a few that we’re a cheaper version from target. I wear them sometimes now! I have not been able to go back to wearing an underwire bra since I was pregnant with my first. I plan to get another one or two at some point since the ones I have now are getting a bit in rough shape.
Milk usually comes in anywhere from 2 (could be earlier I guess) to 5 days. Mine came on day 4 after my c-section. And you will be uncomfortably engorged but thankfully that usually goes away fast! But I remember being kind of freaked out I was going to be engorged like that for a while.
Oh and at first I only really wore nursing tanks, I liked the target ones.
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@DesertDreams88: got it!
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@Honeydew: got it!! keeping my fingers crossed that everything is resolved and looking good! I can’t believe you have your c scheduled already! Eek!! But I’ve heard from a few friends that it was so much better to have that scheduled, especially with a little one at home. Much easier recovery, too.
It was an amazing trip, thanks for asking!! The jet lag over there was tough on my son, but he was a real trooper and loved exploring. It’s such a beautiful country, and it was a great time to go - we still had pretty good weather, but very few crowds! I’m still pretty sleep-deprived, though, and it’s making my nausea worse. Ah, well. Worth it!
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@dominobee: aw man, so many appointments! Fun you get another growth scan, though! I always love getting another peek in there.
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@dominobee: I just got the target nursing bras and tanks. I would suggest holding off for a little while, and also maybe getting a size or two up. My milk came in around 3-4 days after giving birth, and my boobs were huge and hurt like hell. I remember crying the first night we were home because my boobs hurt so badly and my bras were all too small (and, you know, hormones and sleep deprivation didn’t help
). Anyway. I think I bought a couple of the target bravado nursing bras, and then a couple of the nursing sleep bras. I loved those because they were very soft and nice to sleep in, but I could still keep boob pads tucked in there for leaking. I think that was the Gilligan & O’Malley seamless nursing bra.
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@dominobee: I was a B pre-pregnancy, a D by third trimester, a DD during nursing, and back down to a C/D after nursing.
I ordered a set of these in "large" for pregnancy and a set in XL for nursing, and wore them all interchangeably without noticing the difference.
Pros: They're super comfy and very cheap, so you can buy multiple sets. Cons: Not very pretty, and they do tend to get a bit misshapen after awhile, but I wore them almost non-stop for 2 years so..... I guess that happens. Also, I washed them after each wear, which I don't do with my normal bras - I just figured with milk drips and such, it was good to get a good clean each time.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YGSELHK/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I never noticed my milk coming in, but it did. I think it was a bit gradual but LO was off supplemental formula by day 5 and up to birth weight by day 8 so obvi milk was there
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February Mamas 1/25: Bushelandapeck (#3
)
2/4: Ladydi (#2 )
2/5: Honeydew (#2 )
2/6: DCrumlish29 (#2)
2/8: JJ2626 (#1)
2/9: Meowkers (#2
)
2/8: Illumina (#2)
2/13: skiierchck99 (#1 )
2/14: Tionn3 (#1 ), Drea1016 (#2), Tosun (#3 )
2/15: Lazypanda (#2 )
2/18: Theotherstark (#2 ), beachlilly (#1 )
2/19: dominobee (#1 & 2 ), skate13 (#1)
2/20: DesertDreams88 (#2 )
2/22: jodyblair (#3 )
2/23: magnoliamama42 (#2), GooseBee (#2)
2/25: MaryM ( )
2/26: Freelikewater (#1)
2/27: CatchAFallingStar (#2 ), petitenoisette (#2 )
2/28: Ergggg (#2)
3/5: Patty86 (#2 )
Appointments 11/7: Bushelandapeck (3 hr glucose), Honeydew
11/8: dominobee (OB)
11/9: petitenoisette
11/13: dominobee (midwife and glucose test)
11/14: Bushelandapeck
11/20: MaryM (glucose)
11/22: Tosun (glucose), DesertDreams88 (glucose)
11/27: dominobee
11/30: theotherstark
12/6: petitenoisette (glucose) -
Ack! Nighttime Charlie horses, amirite?!
Also for a split second in my dream last night I thought I was carrying my ex’s babies instead of my husband’s. Night. Mare.
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@dominobee: ha, oh no! I know what those kinds of dreams are like, I've had similar. It's so confusing when you wake up and are like is this real life??
I catch myself almost getting a Charlie horse all the time at night. As long as I relax my leg right away I usually can stop it. Just realized you asked about nursing bras too before, I really liked my simple wishes one.So I just got called for 3 WEEKS of on call jury duty over the holidays. It starts the week before xmas so I guess I will be crossing my fingers hard that they call me in that week. Once I get called I won't have to go back unless I get selected for a jury and I'm guessing no one is going to want this super emotional pregnant lady on their jury
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@petitenoisette: Oof what a pain in the butt!
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Agggh DH is being a jerk right now! He's reading a baby book, which is great, and he was like "I want to rub the vernix into the babies' skin while you do skin to skin." And I responded "Well I want to talk to the midwife about that." (This is a question that's on my list to ask at my next appointment in about a week.) And he's like "You need to advocate for yourself." And I was like "I am, I just want to talk to a midwife about the logistics of it." He KNOWS I am anxious and confused about how everything is going to go down with two babies. And he just keeps pushing "You should put this on your birth plan. It's YOUR birth plan." I'm like "Exactly, it's my birth plan, and my choice, and you critiquing the fact that I want more information from people who have actually BEEN AT TWIN BIRTHS before is not helpful." And he would not let it go! Saying I'm not advocating for myself and it's my choice! Well then shut the hell up dude! It's MY CHOICE. I told him "Even if I wanted to schedule a C-section and just do it that way it's MY CHOICE and you can't tell me not to do that." I told him to just stop critiquing and let it go and he stomped upstairs to pout saying "I don't deserve this!" WTF!!! I think he thinks because he is interested and educating himself on birth WHICH ALL PARTNERS SHOULD DO, he should get some kind of extra prize that allows him to tell me what to do and critique how I am handling my own birthing experience!
Of course my instinct is to go up there and be like "I appreciate that you are interested and you have viewpoints on this, but when I say I want more information and I want to have a conversation with a professional about some aspect of our babies' birth, you need to respect that instead of telling me I'm not advocating for myself." But you know what, like most women, I do almost ALL the emotional labor in this relationship so he can just get the eff over himself and he can come to me and apologize for being a jerk when he is ready. He's getting the silent treatment until then (and we have a birth class at 1 - yay).
Sorry for so much ALL CAPS but I'm just so dang frustrated! Sometimes men are such children!
ETA: And in the meantime I have washed the dishes and cleaned the counters and done the laundry and am about to go grocery shopping and so far the only thing he's done this morning is eat a bowl of rice krispies and stare at the internet.
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@dominobee: I'm sorry he's being inconsiderate. Sounds like he wants to be helpful but totally doesn't get it how each of these "plans" will impact you and how you feel about it/want more information before deciding. Birth is not something anyone can understand if they haven't experienced it and you never know how you might feel or what you might need/want until you're in it. I had a birth plan that my husband was supportive of but he certainly didn't understand why I cared so much about some of the things until my son was born. There were also a few things I put in the plan that staff were doing and I questioned them about it because I forgot I had asked for it. Haha. I think talking to your midwife is a great next step before making any decisions.
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@bushelandapeck: I went to run some errands to cool off and when I got back he was all happy and perky acting like nothing was wrong. I know he felt bad because he vacuumed the family room (he rarely cleans without me asking him) so I think it was his way of showing that he cared. But really all I wanted was an apology. "I'm sorry for pressuring you and telling you're not advocating for yourself. I understanding that you have anxiety around how twin birth will go and I want to support you in getting the answers you need to feel more comfortable." Or like, really just "I'm sorry for upsetting you" would be fine.
Later we were driving to our birth class and I had been very short with him since I got home, answering his questions but not really engaging. And finally I was like "I'd really appreciate an apology, and I'm frustrated that I have to ask for one." I ALWAYS have to ask for one, and I hate it. His parents seriously never taught him how to apologize. And it took like 20 minutes of discussion for him to get it. And of course he came around, like he always does - and I am appreciative of that. But I hate that it always has to escalate and then I have to spell out for him why he should apologize before he gets it. I'm like "You upset someone, you apologize. You both feel better, that's how it works." Then he was so sweet and affectionate during the birth class (like almost inappropriately so for being around other people, LOL).
And sometimes he'll complain that he's always the one "in trouble" and I explained to him that when I upset him - when I say something snarky or make a mistake or upset him or whatever - I apologize right away and it doesn't escalate. We don't really get into fights about the things I do wrong, not because I don't do things wrong (I do) but because I listen to him and respect his feelings and humble myself and apologize. He doesn't do that until I'm freaking out and crying and really upset and holding his hand through every step of having an adult conversation, which is why things always get to that point.
I told him next time I'm not asking for an apology. I just won't be engaging with him until he can get it. He's a grown man and he should learn how to take responsibility for his words and actions!!
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Oh and unrelated: last night I was reading a twins book and it said "Pack your hospital bag by 26 weeks since twins often come early" and I was like CRAP! And I decided to go to Target right then and there and I ended up spending $200. I'll do a post later on of what I've got packed but I bought myself: 2 nursing tanks, a nursing bra, some toiletry bottles to put shampoo/conditioner/lotion in, pads, some cute jammy pants for the hospital and/or going home in, plus coconut water and grapefruit sparkling juice to keep my energy up during labor. Everything else I need I have at home, except for nursing pads which I wasn't able to find in Target. And for babies I bought: preemie & newborn onesies, preemie & newborn sleepers, pacifiers, preemie & newborn diapers and wipes.
Oh, and we're probably pulling the trigger on a minivan today! My husband is paying for it with money from an inheritance, which is in a trust, so hopefully the dealership is willing to work with us if it takes 24 hours or so to wire the money. But I'm excited that we are getting this HUGE thing taken care of, and that we found a great deal on an almost new car! All we have to do is get the newborn inserts for the car seats and we will be ready for birth and to take the babies home! Now getting the nursery actually set up is a whole other issue, haha.
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@dominobee: exciting that you are already packing your bag! I got a bunch done on the nursery this week and have the crib and chair set up and my son moved to his new bedroom. I still need a rug and a dresser but otherwise, I think we are in good shape!
As for your hubby, mine is the same. It's like pulling teeth to get him to apologize. I am always first to admit my part and then he takes a while to acknowledge his part, usually by email or text. Ugh. He's not a great communicator, I will say that.
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@bushelandapeck: That's great that your nursery is coming along! I want to see pics when you're ready!
My parents painted my sisters' old nursery dresser/changing table blue for us and then my mom found these really cute baseball knobs (both DH and I play rec league baseball). So I think we are going to do a baseball theme for the nursery! Originally we were going to do animal theme but the knobs got me thinking that we already have soooo much baseball paraphernalia that this would actually be really easy! Pic of the dresser (and my dad's hands - I cropped him out) and the knobs at the bottom of the post.
And to the problem of husbands having trouble apologizing, I've really been identifying with a lot of the articles that have come out lately about all the emotional labor that women do. That plus the myriad of sexual assault allegations in the last month or so have really got me thinking about what it will mean to raise two boys into men. I want to teach them to respect women and to know how to apologize. I think a lot of men erroneously believe that apologizing is admission of a flaw in character, because it's an admission that you screwed up. But as I told DH yesterday, being able to apologize actually demonstrates strength of character, not weakness.
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@dominobee: I'm sorry your DH was being a pain, I would have been super annoyed too with being lectured like that. My DH is quick with an apology but they can feel so empty for me, like he doesn't really understand what he did to upset me. Though I fully admit I am not always reasonable so maybe his confusion is warranted
I have read some of those articles lately too about emotional labor and I find they make me really sensitive and notice every little thing that I do that my husband never thinks about. It does get you thinking about how to break the cycle.
In our house we have really gender-stereotypical rolls when it comes to household maintenance but I hope our daughters will learn from both of us and be someplace more in the middle. It's hard because I think we both enjoy the tasks that we are responsible for (beyond taking out trash and cleaning) so we're not really looking to change things there.
Beyond the infant days, we are very equal when it comes to childcare so that does help. I think with twins some more equality is going to be necessary so I hope that will happen for you. In general, thank you for thinking about what you can do as a boy mom to help break these cycles we're seeing play out again and again.
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I went in today for my follow up ultrasound and my placenta previa and accretia has resolved itself. Thank goodness.
I also passed my 3 hr glucose test to. Yay to not having Gestational diabetes! Hand me a piece of cake!
Next appointment is my 28 week on 11/23. Getting close to the last trimester. We have nothing prepared for the arrival baby #2. We are trying to sell our house and we put a lot in a storage unit. My DH didn't think ahead and all our baby stuff from baby number 1 is in the very back and bottom of our rented 12x10 unit. *shaking my head*
Poor #2. We were so prepped for #1, but #2, we are flying by the seat of our pants.
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@Honeydew: Yay for passing! I did as well. My results were on the very low end of normal too (low 70's for all 4 tests) so I have no idea what happened with the 1 hour. I seriously ate everything yesterday because once I started eating after the test I never felt full. I'm paying for it today though, feeling super bloated and constipated. Ugh.
Next appt is Tues for a regular check in. I'll be 29w. I hope everyone is feeling well and having a good week!
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@Honeydew: So glad everything resolved for you! I swear I heard the ultrasound tech at my NT scan mention previa, but when I asked my OB about it he totally brushed it off. Sure enough, it was completely fine by the anatomy scan.
So I finally reached out to HR about my leave. We don't have any paid leave, just FMLA and whatever leave you have accrued. Because I've had two losses in the last two years, I've used a good chunk of sick time (I took close to a month after my still birth, and about two weeks after our D&C last year).
As long as our baby is born on or after his due date, I have enough leave to take 14 weeks (we get up to 16). BUT...if he's more than 3 days early, I'll get less than 10. I have to make it to the new fiscal year using paid leave in order to be eligible to use the next fiscal year's vacation time before earning it. UGH!
Stay in there and bake up nice and toasty baby boy!
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@Honeydew: so glad it resolved!! And yay for passing your glucose test!
@MaryM: ugh, that is stressful!! Stay in there, baby!!!
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@theotherstark: I'm hoping since I'm on progesterone (and that's supposed to lead to more full term babies) we'll be good. I have a feeling I'll end up going late and laughing at myself for ever worrying about it!
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@MaryM: I will keep my fingers crossed!
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@MaryM: ugh, that is a sticky situation, and frustrating! Do you know if your mom went overdue with you? When I went 8 days overdue with LO, I spent a copious amount of time researching the topic, and learned that your mother's pregnancy lengths is one of the biggest factors
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@DesertDreams88: I'll have to ask her!
I know she missed an ice cream social because it was held the day I was born. Who has an ice cream social in October though...I've always thought that was odd.
My sister has had her kids early, but she has a bicornate uterus.
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I hadn't realized how far you could stack coupons on Motherhood. I just stacked a $10 off, 10% and 5% off on top of some items that were already 40% off.
I got these pajama pants and they SO make me want to curl up with hot chocolate and netflix.
I got them down to $10! And got a sweater and six pair of underwear, all for less than $40.
this might be really sad, but I don't think I've bought any new underwear in the last two years. Some of the ones I still wear, I bought in college. I graduated in 2002 *hangsheadinextremeshame*
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@theotherstark: I’ll have a regular checkup and glucose test on 11/30 and a growth ultrasound appointment on 12/28.
Hope everyone is enjoying pregnancy! The exhaustion has really hit me this time. But, baby movements are amazing and make up for all the crappy symptoms.
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@dominobee: for pumping bras, I used cheap sports bras from the goodwill with small holes cut out around the nipple. Worked great and fit much more comfortably than the store bought pumping bras. And saved a ton of money!
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@MaryM: That’s an awesome deal! I could really use some jammies that fit properly but my mom usually buys us all pajamas for Christmas so I’m trying to hold out!
I did the math and found that we lose about $500/month if DH works, so he will likely be staying home with the boys. The reality of living on one income has hit me so I’m trying not to buy anything extra these days!
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@MaryM: nice!! Great deal.
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@CatchAFallingStar: got it!! Sorry about the exhaustion; it’s so hard running around after a toddler on top of it! But yes, the big and more frequent movement is the best!
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@dominobee: aww, love that she gets you Christmas jammies!
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