-
@ladybee: I'm pregnant with #2 right now and have a boy at home. This is honestly one of the reasons why I'm TG this time around. I feel like once they hand me my baby I won't care if it's a boy or girl, but I know I would feel disappointed if I found out during pregnancy that it's another boy. I actually really REALLY enjoy being a boy mom right now, and am a little nervous about the potential for girl drama because DH and I don't handle that well, but I would love to experience one of each. The disappointment doesn't stem from the thought of having another boy, but more so from the thought of never having a daughter. At the same time though my heart just melts at the thought of two brothers bonding and playing together and becoming life long friends. There is something really special about the relationship same sex siblings share so I try to focus on that. Just know you're not alone in feeling this way.
-
I feel the same way. I hate that I care. I find out in two weeks and honestly I will feel crappy either way. I know that I'll love my kid and a same gender sibling is something I never got to experience, but I also want to experience being a girl mom. I find the limbo of waiting to be the hardest part.... so I finding out early to get it over with!
-
@reverie: I was so sure baby was a girl, that the u/s killed me. Now I'm grieving for my daughter I always imagined. DH said we can have a third if I want when LO1 goes to kindergarten but that's 4 years away so I doubt I will.
-
@ladybee: i had the same discussion today after i just found out about my second boy. i was always done at 2 and then i thought, hmmm maybe we can have a third once both boys are in school. And i totally get what you mean about the u/s killing it. I wish we didn't have to wait almost 20 weeks to find out because i realize now that as time has been going on in this pregnancy i was getting attached more and more to the idea of a girl and convinced myself i was having one! I wish the pregnancy test told us gender from the get-go, that would probably make this a whole lot easier!
-
This is why we are finding out (tomorrow) and I am terrified.
We have DD and I am expecting #2...DH desperately wants a boy - whether he will admit it or not. And that means I desperately want a boy for him. He did tell me the other day "K would love a sister - I truly will be happy either way - healthy is always whats most important" and I know he means what he says.
If we find out its a boy tomorrow it makes everything about not choosing to have #3 that much easier. However if it is a girl, I know there is a part of DH that will be crushed - and I think its ok to feel that way and have expressed this. He is adamant about this being our last - I could go either way depending on how good of a baby this one is.
No real point in my comment other than understanding how you feel, thinking its perfectly normal and sending you hugs!
-
I love what @lovehoneybee: about mourning for what you won't have, either way! I've always wanted the two boys, brothers to get messy with and have a blast with, but sure a piece of me was sad not to experience the girl side of things.
I also love what @jedeve: said- totally nailed it! Bonding was hard for me to wait 10 months during pregnancy, no matter the gender. Once you meet them though, I totally had the, "oh, it's you!" moments with both of mine after they were born. Also 100% about still doing the stereotypical girl stuff with boys- we dance, we cook, we play with dolls, and kitchen toys. We still do cute (matching, yeah, I'm THAT mom!) outfits.
-
@californiadreams: II really, really struggled with the idea of a boy. I never imagined myself as a boy mum because I'm one of four girls and up until last year I only had nieces on my side, and obviously a daughter. But T is the sweetest little thing, I'm so grateful for him now. You already know how awesome baby boys are, I know, but I totally understand your disappointment. Congratulations though, L is awesome, baby brother is going to be just as brilliant!
-
@BandDmommy: my husband went from talkative and giddy to pissed off and stormed out when the tech said we were having a boy. He wanted a girl so bad. He actually went into therapy the rest of the pregnancy up to our son's birth.
@ladybee: grieve, mourn - don't feel guilty. :::big hugs:::
-
@rachiecakes: Did your husband find therapy helpful?
-
@ladybee: I had this too. I only felt better when we went to a wedding (the groom was one of 2 boys) and the brother/best man gave the sweetest speech. At that moment I just wanted my boys to have that kind of bond and support each other like that, and I hope that they will!
+1 to feeling like queen of the castle... DH always tells the boys they have to take care of me
Your feelings are totally reasonable. Unfortunately I think youwill only feel better with time. Maybe keeping an eye out for good brother examples will make you feel better!
-
@ladybee: He did.
He grew up in a very abusive household and his older brother is a criminal. I think he felt he would be safe with a girl and had a lot of fear raising a boy because he had no positive male role models.All the HB & IG pics and posts about brothers make me yearn for a second boy.
-
@skipper2010: @reverie: Don;t mean to thread jack, but I wanted to say I'm totally torn on what to do next time around! I totally see the merit to each: waiting until babe is in your arms, because of the love rush etc., and wanting to be emotionally prepared…
-
@knittylady: I've become 80% sure I want a third this week. I will be either 34 or 35 so I think I'm going to get a genetic blood test. I'd like to find out early before I over attach to girl. Plus I'd like to find out alone so I can process in private.
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
52 comments