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I wouldn't expect anyone to come from that far away for just the gender reveal. Facebook live that stuff! (This coming from someone that didn't do a reveal)

BUT if you're able to make the trip I wouldn't be upset if just the one of you came. I would tell them it's just so much logistics and LO doesn't travel well, that just you can make it (if they even ask)

I bet you were invited so you wouldn’t feel left out. The reveal party is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

I would not think twice about not going, you could FaceTime it. I did not have one and personally do not care for them. I also would go by myself for the shower if that, I probably would just send a gift. I don’t remember being invited to my sisters shower who lives out of state.

I did not do one and was guilted into attending my sister's while dealing with infertility. I was bitter and really unhappy but it was a really big deal to my sister so my mom really pushed. I am not super close with my sister, thankfully they are only 30 min away. It might be worth checking in with your brother or mom to see what the overall feel is.

I wouldn’t go, and I wouldn’t blink an eye if someone did not travel from that far away for my gender reveal/baby shower.

I did a very, very small and casual reveal and we just FaceTimed in my brother. I’d say skip it, definitely not worth a plane ride!

Hard pass on the gender reveal, and agree with the others that you should just mail a gift and save your money for a visit when the baby is born. I wouldn’t expect somebody to travel for either of those events.

Ok, I know this makes me sound like a jerk but gender reveals are so stupid. I think they just exist for Instagram, so no, I’d say you don’t have to go. Even without a baby to travel with, I wouldn’t attend it on principle, honestly, but I’m an a-hole. That said, if it’s instead of a baby shower, I’d consider going for family I was close to but I think going to meet the baby after is way more important. And you said you aren’t close anyway, so definitely skip it.

ETA: just read this again that they are also having a shower. In that case, even harder pass on the reveal!

@JJ2626: Ditto all of what you said.
No to the gender reveal.
No to the shower.
Visit after baby is born.

In my family showers are a big deal. I'd try and make it to the shower. I absolutely wouldn't fly in for a gender reveal and certainly wouldn't fly through family in

@periwinklebee: Not a big deal for you and your family to miss. We had a mini gender reveal when we went to the ILs for the holidays. We opened the envelope with them since they'll always be the long distance side of the family (at least for the foreseeable future).

@JJ2626: Birds of a feather, you and me.

@periwinklebee: seriously you are nice for even considering getting on an airplane for one. In this case it’s the thought that counts

I can tell you in my family, if I didn't show up for my Brother and SIL's shower, it would have been a HUUUUUGEEEE deal, no matter where I lived.

@periwinklebee: Of course it varies, I think that's a given.

I do what I want, but it still means I have to hear it from my family when it's not what they want, you know? I decide when it's my money, travel time and vacation, but as with anything, you cant please everyone all of the time, so I am to meet in the middle. I would do some, but not all in your case.